Hanging out with the PG one

When your incredibly bored there is only one thing to do, eat ice cream.
Last night her highness had a craving and her husband rushed off to the store to fulfill the craving, it was rocky road icecream and whip cream. We all reap the benefits.
I am not really a sweets eater but watching T V with the Viking on the over stuffed couch eating ice cream was the epitome of comfort.
We should be reading something enlightening or having an intellectual discussion, but we were eating icecream and watching "House" and I expect those things are remembered far more then the "GOOD" we try and instill into our kids.

Tuesday

Survival of the fittest or at the very least the most obnoxious. Don't you think so?
I am still cranky.
I soaked for an hour in lavender scented water, the petals stuck in my hair, but that part didn't make me cranky.
I think its just the aftermath of holiday, I enjoyed my children so much, now its back to business, sheets need washing clothes need folding, rooms need cleaning... Sigh.

My beloved family

The annual exchange of the nose rings. We always do that every year...
others may not understand the sentiment.
Then I was looking on at my youngest daughter and her husband,
and I said, what do you think Donald did to deserve you?
She replied, " I think he won a burping contest or something."
Donald just looks on in awe.. I suppose that is best in light of the circumstances.

OOOOH How I hate Walmart!

YES! Sing it with me, "Oh How I hate Walmart"!
So I received some Christmas money and I was supposed to be decadent... Yes.
I want a pair of slippers I ended up with a TV dinner. Why does everyone look at me and smile? I touch my hair self consciously ... Its all there... OK I bought a large bottle of wine and a TV dinner, maybe that's what the smiling is all about?
Ok and a chocolate bar, I can have that can't I?
I wanted slippers, Pink fuzzy ones if you please, the aisle was BLOCKED and I mean blocked by festive shoppers touching every single pair of slippers. Also the really grumpy woman in the fuchsia pant suit... she looked like a toddler in that hideous matching pant set. NO wonder she was so grumpy.. I tried my smile on her, every time she blocked me from touching the slippers on the shelf, she snorted and blocked me even more.
I wandered off to the wine aisle.
I didn't get any slippers, and I am not going to try it again.
I haven't had slippers for months, and I think the German Sheppard knows why..

Happy News!

So some happy news today... right...
I am officially bored. Stir crazy, no place to go, but the weather is warming up. The ducks are daft with joy, they have a swimming pool of melted snow.
I smell patchouli and rain I wonder what that means?
Maybe spring is here early? the birds think so, I think it's a crazy trick and tomorrow it will be cold again.
It is Wednesday, the middle of the week. I think Chelsie and Donald will be here tomorrow or the next day, but they cannot call me, the phone is disconnected.
AHHH life is grand! Thankfully I only have to stand it in bits and pieces.. remind me again why I stay single? Oh yeah...

Dancing Pigs

You can dress a pig up, but you still cannot take him to dinner.
LIKE I didn't know that after being married?

Rich in anxiety

you put too much importance on yourself.
I just thought you were more of a person then you are.

Strange And Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)

Artist: Aqualung


I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
Unseen
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realize that you love me

Yeah
Ye-ah

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
But I know that waiting is all you can do
Sometimes

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
Cause I put a spell on you
And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realize that you love me, yeah

Yeah
Ye-ah
Yeah
Ye-ah

Guinevere was a bonehead

I watched Camelot, all three hours of it. Richard Harris! I had no idea, I only saw him when he was a blustery old man playing Dumbledore in the first Harry Potter Movies. Richard looked like Mel Gibson in that movie.
Guinevere gives up everything to have an affair with a pompas frenchman... JEEZ what a bonehead!
I was very thankful that I don't have to write a review on this, I only had to enjoy it.
It was made in 1967, and I didn't think it seemed dated at all.
I have to say, I did cry through the whole thing, I felt sorry for Guinevere, but I was thinking, the solution is simple, tell Lancy baby to shove off and go be with your husband, stupid broad!

Alone

The family is going to Las Vegas for a week.
I am going to miss them. I am going to do those weird things one likes to do when one is alone.
I am going to Eat Chocolate Mousse and watch Camelot.
I am going to shower with the door open, and listen to music all night long, and watch TV in my jammies, I am going to eat TV dinners, and not do any dishes.
I am going to go shopping without Three kids.
I shall miss them... snicker.

Prince Caspian helps

He is most annoying.

"A"

I got an "A" in Psychology.
Un-real, that was the class I didn't think I could pass.

8 degrees

I wanted to write something beautiful today, instead all I can think is:
Benzodiazepine- Minor tranquilizer..ahh Dissociative disorder- Parts of the personality fragment resulting in some part becoming detached.
In case your wondering, I am just trying to study for the psychology final test tomorrow.
Inbetween, thinking how cold it is outside, and how I better vacuum the livingroom, and I had better finish the dishes, and the laundry, and enjoy my peace and quiet, because all the kids are at the ex's house for a visit, I of which am THANKFULLY not invited, I should never show up sober anyway. Since I don't drink, that means never. the end. HAA thankfully I figured out I don't need polite excuses. I just don't go.

A Ghost of an Idea

A Christmas Carol was put on by the New Heritage Theatre Company in association with the Morrison Center. The play adapted by Barbara Field and originally produced by The Guthrie Theatre was originally written by Charles Dickens in 1843 and is one of his best known stories.
Ebenezer Scrooge is a hardened old man who hates Christmas. He is taught the true meaning of Christmas by ghosts that show him his past, present and future, and what will become of him if he doesn’t change.
The tale unfolds in an old English village. There are signs of poverty and wealth mixed together in an untidy heap of color and grays.
Probably one of the most marvelous things about the production of this play was the incredible set, and lighting co-designed by Brent Karlberg, and Genny Wynn.
Ghosts popping out of the floor, side walls opening, homes moving into the center of the stage, city streets becoming evident, and a graveyard, all in the telling of the story. The lighting changed the atmosphere from dark to light hearted. We believe that an old man can be capable of transformation after he is exposed to the true way of things, and made to feel them in all their passion and tenderness, that he had up to that time disregarded and became deadened to.
Ebenezer Scrooge over a period of time became the hardened man that we see in the beginning of the story, a series of flash backs show the audience how disappointment and neglect managed to make him the distrustful hateful old man we come to associate with the name Scrooge. Living life in a harsh boarding school, being separated from the sister he loves, then later his sister’s death at a young age. His first job was little more then slave labor, these things and more lead to his desire to be wealthy and hold on to that wealth for securities sake.
Jacob Marley’s high regard for Scrooge caused the chain of events and the visits from the spirits from the past, present and future. Jacob Marley and Scrooge were business partners for many years and worked together in their business, until Marley died on Christmas Eve seven years before. Since that time, Marley had been carrying the chains of regret because of his greed and failure to help those in need. Perhaps he gets to work off some of his time of punishment in the afterlife if he recruits the most hardened man of all? As unsentimental as we view Jacob Marley, there is a realization that there must be something in it for him. What if he sheds some light on the horrible outcome of living in the next world when one leads a life of selfishness and greed?
And so as expected, Scrooge goes through a series of reluctant journeys in which each spirit imparts a truth from the past present and future. Learning that no good comes from hording one’s wealth, but in helping and sharing it with others.
Scrooge wakes up Christmas morning and realizes that he has survived the night and has a chance to set things right. He solemnly thanks Jacob Marley’s memory and praises the spirits that taught him a lesson and begins his new life of amends.
Our narrator, Charles Dickens, tells us that Scrooge’s last years were spent in goodness and generosity and he was loved by all who knew him.
There were many talents that contributed to the telling of this story; I will name the ones that I talked about in this review.

Michael Denney portrayed Jacob Marley’s ghost in eerie detail. Ebenezer Scrooge was performed by Craig Kreiser. Charles Dickens, the story narrator was Luke Massengill.
The diversity of the costumes seemed to fit the time and was presented to us by Vicky Nebecker-DeStasio. There were the drab browns of poverty, the bright silks of the wealthy, the winter bonnets in wool, and the stylish hats worn by men of business. Small boys in knee pants chasing little girls in plain drab dresses, finally ghosts in glowing rags and chains.
This was the dress rehearsal that I was privileged to see so I am hoping that they fixed the acoustics.
The Narrator was drowned out by the carolers and when Scrooge yelled no one else was heard on the stage. There was also trouble making out what the characters were saying as the sound echoed off the walls. Anytime anyone sang on stage all the sound and back ground description was drowned in the noise.
A pleasing version of Christmas Carol. May your spirits be happy and bright this season.

Forty Shades of Green

Forty Shades Of Green

Boise Contemporary Theatre presented Stones in his Pocket by arrangement with Paul Elliott, Adam Kenwright and Pat Moylan. The play was written by Marie Jones. She is currently a resident of Belfast Ireland and was born and raised there, she has written a number of plays including several dealing with
Ireland.
Tracy Sunderland was the director; Ann Klautsch was the voice and dialect coach. The dance scenes were choreographed by Leah S. Clark and created an authentic Irish air to the whole story told in forty shades of green.
The play was made for the two actors that enact the story. Joe Conley Golden and Tom Willmorth transform characters right before our eyes, and they do it so well that it seemed there were a legion of actors instead of two.
Each character had a different dialect, and mannerisms, so one could tell when it was someone else speaking, the body language changed and so did the Irish lilt.
The story begins in the beautiful green country side of the Irish Highlands. We make out, uneven ground with many shades of green, flat stones piled in stacks to resemble a river bed along a horizon. To the left is a rack of shabby clothes, featuring many tweed type jackets and work boots such as an American director might imagine Irish peasants wearing in the countryside. The stage adapts itself to each scene with a trunk and a few chairs and was fashioned by Michael Baltzell.
A Hollywood Studio has arrived to stir up the rural Ireland Village to make a film called “A Quiet Valley” The company has decided to use the locals as extras in the production.
Charlie and Jake, two down and out Irishmen, are happy to make 40 pounds a day for their trouble, and rubbing elbows with stars, especially the extremely beautiful American Starlet, Caroline Giovanni.
In his pocket, Charlie who is from another part of Ireland, and a stranger in town, carries a well worn dog eared manuscript. It is a play he has written and he hopes to gain the attention of someone that could make the story into an award winning movie. His cheerfulness is touching in its optimism. The two actors change characters in brisk progression. Pay attention or you may miss something. Jake becomes the oldest living extra from the Quiet man, an efficient assistant to the assistant film director, and a troubled young man. Charlie becomes, Caroline the American actress, a Catholic father, the self important director, and an impatient assistant director.
Charlie and Jake make a reference to all the fake admiration that Hollywood holds for the beautiful Irish countryside, Hollywood is really only there to exploit and use it for their own purposes. One of them mentions, they must be getting sick of the forty shades of green by now. The two friends know full well that living in a luxury trailer and having meals catered and being waited on like royalty is not the same as living a simple life of hard work and perseverance.
We find that Charlie is not as cheerful as we originally heard, and Jake has his own demons to exorcise when his nephew kills himself by walking into the river with stones in his pocket.
The Director and his staff still expect the extra’s to behave in a joyful manner, and they do not want to allow anytime off for the funeral of the young man, who was a friend and relation to many of the extras. In the end, the publicity becomes the motivation behind “allowing” the extra’s to attend the funeral.
One amazing scene shows Charlie and Jake, doing a dance straight out of River Dance, to lively Irish Music. The oldest Living survivor from the movie The Quiet Man gets kicked off the set because he comes back from the funeral tipsy.
After the movie is finished, “in the can” as quoted by the old man, Charlie and Jake gain some confidence and take a movie idea to the pompas director. In between eating and talking with his mouth full, he completely changes their idea, and makes it his own. Charlie and Jake relentlessly decide that they have a good idea and will open their own company and produce the film themselves. They have complete confidence that it is going to be a success.
The lighting designer Deborah Penrod matched the colors of the lighting to what was happening on stage. She accomplished a sun set, and evening, and it complimented the whole story. I saw the forty shades of green, as accented by her lighting.

To Whom it may concern... or not

So why? I thought I could write anything.
When it becomes an assignment my hands feel tied. Today I have played mah jong, talked to Anna, traded ideas for baby names with Janelle,Read reviews,stalled, read the news, talked to the dog,listened to Blue Oyster Cult,drank coffee,Stalled, played mah jong again. SIGH
ok, focus...
Two Theatre assignments:
A review on
Stones in his Pockets &
A Christmas Carol..
A paper on Creationism versus Evolution with a few comments thrown in on Charles Darwin and my highly exalted opinion... I KNOW the English Professor sighs with dread when he sees my happy face in class. KNOWING it doesn't stop me.
it should stop me but I have always been a social idiot.
STUDY Pshychology... EWWW Two Assignments in Philosophy.. its a real YAWN.
hmm is it still snowing? does the dog want a biscuit? Are the kids hungry? What is Anna doing?

Joe Conley Golden, and Tom Wilmorth

Boise Contemporary Theater
854 Fulton St.
(Boise Downtown)
Boise ID
331-9224
http://www.bctheater.org

SO I stayed home today.

Snowstorm closes schools and slows morning commute

01:36 PM MST on Thursday, December 1, 2005
KTVB.COM
BOISE –- A snowstorm blowing through the Treasure Valley today wreaked havoc with motorists and forced the closure of some schools in the area.
Traffic on Interstate 84 was moving at a snail’s pace during the morning commute. Idaho State Police dispatch reported to about 50 calls, mostly slide-offs. A semi-truck loaded with pears overturned in the eastbound lanes near milepost 25 west of Caldwell. Police say the driver hit the brakes to avoid hitting another car, causing the back end of the trailer to slide off the road and flipped the entire truck onto its side. The pears were transferred to another truck to help lighten the load. Traffic is limited to one-lane through the area.

It doesn't look so good from here

The day started at under twenty degrees Fahrenheit.
It is so cold it hurts to breathe out of my nose. So I breathe out of my mouth. I walk along puffing and mouth breathing, I suddenly realize how ridiculous this must look, pant puff pant puff.
So far the knee is holding up as I walk. I am thankful for this, I hate annoying displays of pain, especially my own.
English--I have to re-write the vile paper that I merely spit out to start with.
Theatre--I missed the play I was supposed to review for one of our main grades..."F"
Psychology--Finals in two weeks, I am not ready.
After psychology, I amble down to the student union building for a quick bite. I realize that I have nine dollars to last me till January, but I am hungry and I didn't prepare in advance, its too cold to walk back to the car.
I figure I will get a bag of chips and a bottle of juice, that shouldn't cost too much.
All the chips look disgusting, but the sushi looks good. So I bring up a diet coke and a tray of sushi to the counter.
Mr. Studly is busy watching the pretty young blond make a food decision. He ignores me.
She brings up her purchase, and he makes polite and friendly conversation with her.
I stand. Next the busty brunette. He makes conversation with her, and ignores me.
I try to gain eye contact. Finally I ask him to ring me up. He says "Certainly" with a bright smile. "HAVE A NICE DAY" I take my purchase out of the store without answering.
I find a seat, and blow my nose noisily, it is bleeding. I proceed to eat the sushi and steel myself for the dive into the philosophy book. It will take all my concentration, I was already dozing off in psych, I have no hope that philosophy will keep me awake.
Happily, I finish two assignments. I notice something odd about the page numbers... SHIT two and a half hours of work on the wrong assignment.
OK< there is still some time left before I go do the test pig thing in the Pshych lab.
I finish the correct assignment, and proceed out the door to the educational building, its damn cold. My finger is going numb under the warm glove, once again my nose hurts to breathe, but I avoid breathing out of my mouth, not wanting to look like a trout on land.
Educational building. I am there to take a survey as part of my grade in Psychology. I am hoping to end this soon, and also hoping I understand the simple instructions. I have a difficult time, I am very literal minded and sometimes I think instructors are speaking a different language to me.
They hand out three pieces of papers, they inform us that only one paper gets our name and student ID.number.
I struggle with the questions, knowing that I have some difficulting tracking what I am reading and where to put the answer. After twenty minutes of work, I discover that I put the answers on the wrong sheet of paper. I have to go back and put them on the correct one and erase them on the question sheet.
The instructor has said, that when everyone is finished we can go home. Everyone has finished, except me, busily erasing and re-writing 160 questions. Most eyes are on me now, people are sighing. I can feel my face turn red, I do not wish to be here, and now it seems I am a dunderhead.
The girl next to me has her leg crossed and is swinging her foot so it bumps my backpack every so often. I wish she would stop and she is leaning forward staring at my answer sheet... and SIGHING.
I kept the whole class after. What a wonderful addition to my already poopy day.
I am the last person to walk forward to turn in my paper, most eyes are on me, some look the other way in embarrassment for me. I keep thinking, this isn't the worst thing that could ever happen, its just my worst nightmare, I don't like to make public spectacles. I am wishing it was over, and soon it is, and I am walking in the cold air, wishing I had a hat. I am also thinking that the sushi was very fishy, and I hope that I don't regret eating it later....

Tortured Noises

Much to my irritation, I can't move my right leg today. What is that supposed to mean? I can bend it, but it wont go straight, and if I try to straighten it, it sends pain waves so violently up my body I fall.
If I try to stand on my right foot, I collapse. This happened when I was cooking dinner last night.. Beef stew with dumplings,then the dramatic falling on the floor collapsing in pain, writhing in agony, with the Grandchildren looking on, wondering what the hell, that unpredictable Gramma was up to again.
I am applying heat, I don't have time for this bullshit, and going to the doctor doesn't occur to me, I just want it over with.
How am I going to walk around campus tomorrow? I got stuff to do.
Who said I could get old?

You are a Rose:

You are creative, sensual, passionate, and bold.
You pour your heart into everything that you
do. Alluring and gifted with strong sex appeal,
you very easily draw people in with your animal
magnetism.

Symbolsim: The rose has always been a flower
heavily loaded with symbolism. In general it
symbolizes desire, passion, beauty, and
enchantment.


Which Flower are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

There is a...............

There is a spider on my desk. He knows I am here, and I know he is here.
The little bastard dived into some papers when I ran for a tissue.
This interrupts my concentration, as I type I am waiting for him to make another appearance.
I have papers I need to clean up, I think I will ask the 8 year old to do it, if I do it and the "THING" jumps out at me, I am likely to emit a blood curdling scream that will wake the whole household.
I am NOT afraid of spiders, I just don't like surprises.

Really Red

I can never leave well enough alone.

Lucy

Lucy looks like hell today, she isn't eating, or talking to me. The horrid lump on her head cracked open again, and its oozing faster. The smell of fresh blood is sickening.
I have sopped it up best I can, but now what do I do. I am in despair. IT is a crime that one cannot help an animal or get medical care because one doesn't have money.
I feel like I am at fault.
Even half the money is out of reach for me right now.
Pray pray pray.

YAY its Saturday!

I sleep on a heating pad for my permanently stiff neck, it started making noises. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZAP! bbbbbrrrr zzzz, I thought, its going to catch on fire and burn my ear off in my sleep. I wouldn't have been able to sleep with the weird noise in my ear anyway.
My daughter says, "your not supposed to sleep on them." OH! doggone it, it was working so well too.
I have an old one with no instructions, so it's a good thing I told her about it. Can't they make one that you can sleep on? I used to have ferrets that had a pen outside, (Don't ask, stupid landlord from California) I put a heating pad in their cage to keep them warm and they slept on it. I mean what good are they if you can't put them under anything?

subject Two.
Lucy the Labrador, crawled up and slept next to me on the bed Wednesday night. she doesn't usually, she likes sleeping under my desk. When my alarm went off in the morning I reached over and petted her on the head. My hand came away sticky and wet.
So being the alarmist that I am, I jumped out of bed and turned on the light. Her tumor on her head had gotten so large it split open and was oozing fluid and blood. It seemed to correct itself, but I wanted to take her to the vet. I have been told for years that she has fatty tumors and nothing can be done about them. They usually get large and split open a few time a year.
GET THIS! The vet says, that they are NOT fatty tumors they are cysts and should be removed. I am so mad, I have had three vets tell me they are tumors, and they are non-cancerous, don't disturb the dog with surgery. SO NOW four years later two new vets tell me something very different.
They have to come off, so its 650.00 dollars I have to come up with.
The vets also said, if I had them removed when they were new they would have been a simple office procedure,done with a local anesthetic. I cannot tell you how mad I am at the three brookings vets that informed me they were fatty tumors.
My poor baby has suffered with these for four years.
I used to go to this Boise vet years ago, it was strange looking up, and having that feeling of recognition. I doubt very much he remembered me, his partner knew a vet from Brookings that I used to rent movies to when I worked for Rays in the video department. Small world as they say.
Anyway. Lucy will get that surgery some how, but I don't know for sure when I have to pay off the car as per an agreement with Chetco Financial. They agreed to let me keep my car if I agreed to pay it off in January, so there goes the money I would have had to get Lucy fixed.
I am sure I will figure out something, I always do.

Racism, Prejudice, how it affects us all

In my white bread little world, I haven't come across the types of prejudice that people in big cities take for granted and live with every day. I originated in a small town in Northern Idaho, and learned of a different type of prejudice, not regarding race, but gender.
At the time a small pat on the head by the person in authority, telling me not to worry my pretty little head over the problem, seemed a compliment. It was later that I realized that I wanted to be heard and taken seriously.
I could see that the person in charge would be a man, and he may not necessarily be correct, but the judgment would stand regardless, because he was “the Man” Life starts to count when you wish to be heard, and you want your ideas to come across, but you have to work harder at getting an idea across because of color, creed, or gender. In a personal way it pisses me off.
I never liked injustice of any kind; I like the truth to be told. I think there are times when people get what they deserve. There are times when life isn’t fair. Prejudice is unfair, it generates hostility. We all want what we believe to be justly ours; a fair chance, a good shake, acceptance.
Often time we don’t give a damn if someone else is suffering from unfairness, only that we get what we believe is our fair share.
Prejudice has been a problem since the beginning of time. Cain and Abel were the first brothers.
Cain blamed his brother Abel for his problems, and murdered him.
**Then the Lord asked Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
Cain answered, "I don't know: Am I my brother's keeper?"
God said, "What have you done? I hear the voice of your brother's blood crying to me from the ground. Now you will be cursed on the earth soaked with your brother's blood which was drawn by your own hand."**
Then Cain went out from the presence of the Lord.
So it has been that way since. We like to blame others for our dislikes and wrongs.

I think Prejudice has several possible causes.
(1) Jealousy
(2) Fear
(3) Lack of understanding
(4) Blame

When discussed further it comes down to a mistaken belief that one race, gender or religion is better then another. Where did this come from? People get angry enough to kill over these beliefs. We are all special…just like everyone else.
Some of our problem generates from the scripts we carry from birth. We are taught proper etiquette and what is polite to say. However we do not readily know if these scripts carry over to different types of people then we are used to dealing with. We are not sure, this can lead to suspicion and distrust.
A script helps us fit in; we do what is expected of us in order to go unnoticed.
If you ever listen to different cultures tell jokes, you will note that what one country finds uproariously funny, another will stare blankly and wonder what the punch line is.
This might be where prejudice comes from.
Whatever the cause of prejudice it is necessary to make it our own problem. We need to judge sources for our safety. We will always be wary of new things as human beings, this is necessary for survival. However let it not be because of a person’s color or beliefs, but how they carry themselves and if they are a good person

Tartuffe

Tartuffe
http://www.musearts.com/cartoons/theater/tartuffe.swf
We are reading tartuffe in Theatre class. I was hoping to find a movie of it to watch online. I found this one, (the link for it is above) It is Tartuffe put on by the guinea Pig Theatre.
Thought I would share

Wake Up!

Well it just goes to show you that you can live a moderate lifestyle, take good care of your body and still feel like crap when you wake up in the morning.

Janelle says, "Kayla, talk quieter, Gramma has a hangover." I looked at her in surprise, I haven't drank in forever, I just look like I do. (Where the hell would I hide a bottle in this household?)
I woke up stiff, unable to turn my neck and my knees are cracking.
I think this is called welcome to fifty.
Gramma Gladwill used to say, 'If I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself." We all say that when things that used to work without a glitch are now complaining in pain from over-use. IF I knew then.. what I know now, I would have worked less hard, SHEESH!
I see nothing wrong with ME sitting on a throne, having my minions wait on me... "Bring me tea! Polish my toenails! Clean the house."The problem with getting older, is not only do I look unpleasant, but I sound unpleasant too. A simple request sounds like rounds of bitching to my family. I only asked!! They say, " OK OK OK" It can only get worse. I am taking my dog and moving up in the mountains. Even she bitches.

Lucy the Lab

Leggings and Sweatshirt

Saturday Morning, with so many ambitious things on my mind, but the coffee is getting cold and I am still in my night uniform. Not pretty little nightys for me, I like the baggy sweatshirts and leggings. It is cold in my room, my hands are getting numb on the keyboard. The door frame is missing and I can see outside through the cracks, I think its about forty degrees out there. I suppose I should complain to the management.
I got a furry warm rug under my desk, she grunts in protest if I dig my toes into her soft coat.
Lucy the Labrador, my constant companion my best friend. She doesn't have a lot to say, she thinks barking is rude, but she grunts and makes interesting noises when she would like me to do something. This morning it was, "GET UP!" she put her face very close to my ear and "told" me in her strange language to get my lazy ass out of bed and feed the dog.
I would think she was human, except for two things that really stand out, her inability to resist rolling in something glorious, and her craving for garbage.
She likes to sit on the couch next to me and watch PBS. She especially likes history. And the occasional cracker I hand to her when I forget she is a dog.
She likes things done in the same way, she likes her dish elevated so she doesn't have to bend her neck to eat. She likes to be at my feet whatever I am doing, she offers suggestions for dinner. She thinks its a good idea for her to test dinner before it goes on the table for the kids. She is a very thoughtful dog.
She is gentle and generous, she thinks kids are ok, but doesn't get especially excited when they get up in the morning, unless they have food. Then she wags her tail and grins at them.
Her grinning is a bit offputing if you don't know what it is, she bares her teeth and raises her upper lip. I had never seen a dog do that before and thought it was an act of aggression only she never growls.
The vet told me it was a grin.
She grins a lot.

The source of my contention

It is hard to understand at nearly ten o clock P M why I am awake. I had five hours of sleep last night and I nearly dozed off in Shroedinger's class. Sitting straight up, eyes wide open and I knew that I was falling asleep. It was his fault mostly anyway.. Or my lack of time management skills.
He did give us two assignments, I dislike it when he does that. Especially when its two different philosophers, I just get used to one boring diatribe then it's on to something else. SOOO till twelve thirty last night I was struggling with my understanding and ended up just pulling something out of the hat to appease the wild beasty. The alarm goes off at five A M. I am thinking GAWD that's an awful song to wake up too, and I don't remember what it was, but it was vile.
Drag and bitch through the morning, struggle onto the freeway, drop off children at daycare, give my babies kisses, think about breakfast, and go to philosophy class.
Theatre isn't looking too good. I am thinking she is pre conditioned not to like my offerings. I need a good bribe.
Philosophy is doomed, but surprisingly, I am kicking ass in Psychology. Midterm I got an 88, and this last test I missed five out of twenty seven. I would have liked to get them all right, but it was a struggle. English 101? Who the heck knows. I really try to be nice in that class. More lessons in patience and dealing with lazy idiots, and I am not talking about myself this time.
Still need to survive two more months. A job would set things right, but not just any job, it has to coincide with my classes.
I am dumbfounded about time management and what goes where and who goes where. We are already getting ready to sign up for the next set of classes. I would like to take a math class, perhaps a study class, and another psychology. The fourth one can be something I like, maybe God forbid..Medieval philosophy headed up by none other then the magnificent Shroedinger.

Users are Morally bankrupt

I think hear the voice of reason. What is right and what is moral,
RULE number one in life, NEVER use anyone.

There are worse things then being Mundane

You think your whole life is a movie in which you play the starring role.
Every song was written for you, everyone looks at you as you walk by.
Let me tell you, you just don't have a clue, it's not all about you.
You think that anyone that stops to say "hello" is suddenly taken by your charm.
You think you are so wonderful, no one would do you harm
you believe that your presence in a room, causes the light to shine.
You think you are so facinating when all you do is whine.
There are a million people just like you in the world, quit focusing inward and look about and see, there is a lot of good you could be doing instead of being so MUNDANE.

Things

Ok, priorities straight, and NO wallowing in self pity.

I need a job, Daine Bennet needs new jeans, sweaters, shirts, underwear, coat and shoes.
I need a few new shirts, not much.
I need to study hard and get great grades so I can bring some meaning to all this nonsense.
I need something sweet.. dark chocolate with macadamia nuts would be good.. sigh....

What's the point of this bullshit?

so you want a friend you say.
someone to watch movies with, drink wine with.. do things with.
you must be a friend to have one.
you must keep your word, do what you say your going to do, in other words strive to be dependable and trustworthy.
Do you know it isn't that you missed our dinner out, or you fell asleep, it's that you didn't bother to get a hold of me later. Like I was of no importance.
You let me down and you had nothing to say about it.
My friend Jenni from Colorado arrived in Boise that night.
I haven't seen her in 8 years.
She asked me to come out and have dinner with her and her sister.
I turned her down, I told her I had a dinner date, but that I would get with her the next day.
I sat home by myself and waited.
It's not just you, it's a lot of people who feel this way.
That it is of no importance to cancel plans, or not show up.
They also feel it is ok, to let it go, without an apology.
If it were me, I would be apologizing all over myself.
Maybe sending roses or a card.
I don't know what has happened to every day good manners but they are certainly in the toilet.
Now I have something to say.
Adios.
G


'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

OH No You Don't!

If we cannot escape bad times, we must indeed honor God, however, I think it's to God's glory to by happy, and enjoy our lives as they were given to us.
I have little tolerance for bad times, especially brought on by other people.
My husband was cruel, and I put up with it, and prayed about it, then the answer became very clear. Let him have his affairs, and leave him, and live the joyful life.
I am not saying that I haven't had struggles, but all in all, it has been a much happier road on my own.
I also, realize when I am in an unhappy situation, many times I can change it, by changing me.
I started out very helpless and I am becoming stronger.
We can say stronger in the Lord, but it is God who gives me the gift of gratitude, and strength, therefore I know it is mine truly.
I also notice in my life, when I am on the right path, doors open instead of closing in my face.
Since I started going to school, I have greater vision of what I need to do. In the past I merely endured, now I persevere

Terry Pratchet on Philosophy

Terry Pratchett is one of my favorite authors.
These are quotes from his book, Small Gods
I thought you might get a kick out of his view on Philosophy.

"What's a philosopher ?" said Brutha. "Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting," said a voice in his head.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way of attacking Ethics, you can bet your sandals it's all because dozens of other poor buggers are doing all the real work around the place."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy, but they were listening in gibberish.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers."
-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

"That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all Is Truth Beauty and Is Beauty Truth, and Does A Falling Tree in the Forest Make A Sound if There's No one There to Hear It, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, Incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles."
-- The many and varied advantages of philosophy (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

A Perfect Circle_ A Stranger

Oh Gawd, depressing mind bending music again.. AM I Insane? FREEKING A! It's probably just hormones, but who can tell?

I am so old, and I am so Un-Evolved. I sit next to 18 year olds and think they are so amazing and enlightened.

What happened to me? I don't feel I know anything.

YAH the kids want my vintage look, HA<>

Yeah it's real velvet, and I haven't WASHED it since the seventies...

AHEM... back to the subject. Was it? MMM OK
Philosophy was so amazingly interesting, I needed to take my pulse to make sure I was still alive... That bastard knows how to draw them in. I even had a discussion with him, I have tried to keep a low profile.. THOUGH I did tell him about my philosophy... I stole it from WC Fields/" A Man has to believe in something.. Therefore I believe I will have another drink."

WHICH started him in an amazingly and true rendition of W C Fields diatribe. He was good... I think he missed his calling, he could have been an actor. or Entertainer.

I hate it when I am so WRONG.. the first three weeks of his class were.. Excruciating, and I still think he uses too many words in a sentence.. BUT I wish I could sit and talk to him for hours with no interruption. I changed my mind YET again.

Sea Weed Soup

I have Seaweed soup frozen for special occasions if you need some let me know, I think it's the iodine that always keeps me from getting sick.
A few years ago, I used to take Iodine for the whole winter, and I never got sick, I also noticed a strange phenomenon. We had lots of spiders, and when they bit me they died still attached to my leg, I know that's so gross, but I would wake up with two or three of them, teeth still stuck in my leg with rigor mortise set in... I HATE them, so it was worth it.. I didn't realize that they fed in groups... oooooooh shivers....
I thought my blood was toxic, and I bragged to my overly Smart and know it all brother, he said, NAH it's the iodine your taking, they use Iodine powder to kill insects and stuff...
AHHH so I am not toxic.. DAMN

Stoopid MSN

Perhaps to live. is to face drama, but I DISLIKE DRAMA! unless it is on the stage.all the world is a stage and I am just a two bit actor blah blah blah....MSN put another freeking toolbar on my BROWSER! will they knock it off for Pete's sake? I don't even know what a discussion server is, and why the hell do I want one? they put it on the bottom of everything, and when I click on it, its says YOU DO NOT HAVE A VALID DISCUSSION PANEL<>>> this is correct and let's keep it that way, plus get rid of the discussion tool bar at the bottom please. I Didn't ask for that, but one doesn't have to ask for anything, MSN in it's infinite wisdom shall supply anything that will be most annoying... they do tests on this all day long... LET US SEE?? they say in their white lab coats, what will piss off people in the northwest region the most? I KNOW!! Let us take over their browser bars and put in all kinds of annoying features nobody in his right mind.. or left, would possibly want on the computer.. they are certainly doing the job correctly.However, that is not the drama I am facing.. it's kids.. doggone them, they cannot have a peaceful five minutes without howling about something.. and I am not blessed with the most patience
"YES Olivia, you have been eating since you woke up, the question is, DO I GET TO EAT!"She is so tiny, I do not know how that kid can tuck away so much food. Since she woke up she has had a huge bowl of cereal, that I could not have eaten, a bagel, toast, bacon, part of MY egg, I think she had a cup of coffee too, but I am not sure of this.The other kids, had cereal and bacon.. good kids, except for the cat scratch drama earlier.. and the Viking shuffles out of bed several hours after everyone else.Now as I sneak five minutes of private time, I hear the dryer shut off, which amplifies the howling in the living room, somebody is having another cataclysmic event.. We have dog crates for the dogs... it is very tempting, very tempting.
TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO LETONE OF YOU GO."

Duck

Luna Comes home

GOD save me from people who think they know best!

Someone broke into the yard of 1916 E Amity avenue, in Nampa and stole our four chickens and ancient cat.
I do not know why people go to such great lengths to be AWFUL.
We are very upset this morning, the kids were getting an Ag permit for the chickens, and the old cat never hurt anyone, he stayed on the porch.
There are splats of blood on the sidewalk, but I cannot tell from what, there are no feathers anywhere, as there would be if it were an animal breaking in the yard.
Also the gate was shut.. so I think it was a neighbor, possibly one that keeps calling on us and complaining. We may have to leave the barking dog in the front yard instead of in the house at night...

I know I was suposed to do something

What was I suposed to do? Thank goodness I took notes in every class.
My back pack is so heavy with books that my arms go numb when I am packing it on my back.
Have I mentioned how thankful I am... this is not a cement floor at a convenience store.. OH thankful day.. it's a cement sidewalk with a wave of humanity walking too darn slow, waving their hands and sounding like some tribal mating ritual.. NO that is next semester... BUT I only have ten minutes to get to the other end of campus and it's a hard class, and nobody seems to be in a hurry but me.
I am finished by lunch.. with classes at least, the rest is up to me, on my own, staring at the pages wanting to absorb them.
I think everyone should take english 101 with Mr. Hunt. He is a gifted encouraging teacher. I love how he brings people out of their shell and encourages them to have whole thoughts instead of half assed ones.
He is teaching us to write, I think I can write, but I wanted some disipline. I do everythign I am told, and PRAY and I mean Pray, that I am doing it all right. I haven't got much of a clue these days.
I can learn from him.

Free Write Rant

Ten Minute Free Write On Affluenza…


Well it sure doesn't apply to me, and I find the whole subject tedious.
Want want want.. is not a part of our vocabulary, we have done fine with very little and I find it hard to be sympathetic toward greed.
We don't have TV, so the kids don't think they need tons of new toys, we don't have expensive cars, we are thankful for one that runs.
My head isn't turned by the latest fashion. (Obviously)
I dated a couple of wealthy men a time or two, they are CHEAP!That's why they still have the money. The rest are merely living beyond their means, and need to live without credit, live without want of luxury
Luxury to me is paying bills on time and eating fresh fruit and vegetables.. Luxury to me is being able to buy the Viking a pair of shoes when he needs them.
Bankruptcy would be a result of too many doctor bills, no job and no place to live and NO other way out.
Bankruptcy would never happen because of over spending like there is NO tomorrow.
Its like drugs, just say no, and get over yourself.
Shopping as a past time? NEVER!
One thing we like about Idaho is there is so much to do, that is free. Shopping is for groceries, or the best deal on school clothes.
Let me ad that I am part of a blended family, My daughter, son-in-law, grandkids and son all live together in one house. We conserve, pay bills buy food, and do things together as a unit. It would never occur to us to spend money to the point of bankruptcy. So I hear that the President is tightening laws on Bankruptcy.. GOOD. Make those who are over their head responsible for the debt, and pay it off in full. The only exceptions would be family hardship such as illness or accident.
When I lived in Seattle, an older woman was living in her car, She had owned her home in California, and her husband became ill with terminal cancer. She lost everything, that is WRONG, no one should ever become homeless over medical expenses, it should make the spend thrifts hang their head in shame at their wastefulness.
Which brings me to Socialized medicine.. I know someone else that had to spend their kids college money on cancer treatments. WRONG WRONG again, that sort of thing makes me mad,don'tt even talk to me about people in debt with their big screen TVs and expensive gas guzzlers, it just ticks me off!

Philosophy versus head in the oven

I have to read that book. He uses too many words, I don't mean he uses big words I mean TOO many.
words words words, just for the sake of being wordy, and Don't buy his new book on sale now, more diatribe.
He watches with glee while the Bible Thumpers get intense.
It's all bullshit.. Don't worry, in four months you can take anthropology, which looks intriguing to me.

Tell me something Good.

Read my tarot cards. Give me some objective information. Tell me the future.
Tell me the love of my life is searching for me. Tell me great fortune is on the way.
Tell me my talent shall be noticed.
Tell me I shall be understood.
Lead me to a fast running stream, show me the leaves changing to orange and gold. Show me the age old magic that works in the woods.
Show me the way to true patience and understanding.
Show me sensual understanding and trust again.
Show me I am not too old to experience the greatest depths of love again.

The Viking and his Mom

Evil Cat takes a nap

Post Comments

Scary Old BEEoch

I really dislike that saying, "It could always be worse."
I dislike "Money doesn't buy happiness." As well.
Neither does poverty, PEOPLE!
I am not one of the "privilege" people.

I am however quite pleased with circumstances at this unexpected moment. I am at peace in spite of the fact that I live in a room off someone's garage, I am covered in cat hair, and I've had nothing to eat and I slept, maybe four hours last night.

The lack of sleep due to reading assignment after assignment, watching the time fly and wishing I "got it"

In week one I think I am most overwhelmed.

My brain hasn't grasped thinking in this manner yet.

YET! Meaning I think I am going to get it.

Last night inbetween the total chaos of kids, books and mess, I managed to dye the cat orange. He didn't care

The kid's say, "Gramma you're funny." I am not.

Prince Caspian is evil, he needed a skunk stripe down his back. Only it's not white, it's orange. I have no idea what made me think of it. I was tipping the Viking's hair and the kitten got in the way. As always whatever I am doing Caspian has to be involved.

If I am cooking, Caspian is stealing scraps, if I am reading he parks himself on my book. If I am typing he lays on the keyboard. I have a canopy on my bed. He likes to swing off the material like a small furry Tarzan.

No rest for the wicked applies to Prince Caspian.

Today I want to be invisible.

Today I don't want to appear as the oddity that I am.

I would go home, but I might miss something and I am sure I don't want to look at the black kitten with the orange stripe.

The Little barrel of understanding

The little barrel of understanding. Something we try to break out of all our lives
Caught inside by emotional, philosophical,mental, spiritual, and physical handicaps.
Try to pry off the lid and allow more light in.
With each new understanding another crack develops- making more light more understanding.
Through the process of learning and opening, many elderly people are barely contained in the barrel, they have broken free!
Others have a small crack they peek out of, they like it this way. They do not require change or enlightenment.
I do. I have wanted to be more enlightened most of my life.
In my twenties I discovered I was simplistic, childish, and un-educated. I was swallowed up by religious beliefs and what I was told, was Right and Wrong. I allowed others to do my thinking for me. The rebellious streak came about when I faced abuse.
I decided I could not allow the situation to continue. Education is power, someone said. I believe that, but who's education? Who's opinion?
Is it true there is no right or wrong? Only what is culturally acceptable. I do not know.
All the knowledge we have is what is inside the barrel with us.
It can become a bucket of doom, keeping us prisoner to our own archaic idea's or it can be a way to learn more, and break out.
I prefer to keep learning, to keep seeing.

Day Two PHILOSOPHY..oh joy!

AHH jeez, there was "Coffee broad" who needed two seats, one for her big ass and the other seat for her Moxie Java.. The class was already filling, but she still needed two seats.
She kept staring at me... Then there was " I need that chair" Man that sat down next to her and forced her to remove her Moxie Java. While this was going on, "My skirt wasn't short enough before" came limping by about to show us everything she wore underneath.. I wondered.. Who the hell dressed these people today?
Then after the dust settled from her limping entrance, the star of the show waltzed in " Bug Eyed Drone" man. I watched him with great interest. This was to be my teacher for the next few months... WHY OH WHY? It took me fifteen minutes to figure out how the desk top fit down the side of my chair, " I need that chair" man didn't figure it out as smoothly as I did, and kept hitting me in the butt. Needless to say, after I gave him a pointed look he quit after three more tries. WHO invents this equipment anyway?
I tried to read chapter one.. but I didn't understand most of the words in it, and gave up after I found I had read it three times and it still didn't make any sense.
HATEFUL STUFF!
Class was over after my twenty fifth stifled Yawn, and "Coffee Broad" said, " I just wanted to tell you, I LOVE your hair."
oh.... so being my clever self, and feeling guilty for glaring at her earlier, I said " It's called, I cannot afford a haircut."
She said "OH I will cut it for you!" AHHH the true nature of her verbal contact with me, she wants a TEST PIG.
I smiled and said, " that's ok, my daughter wants me to keep it unkept and gray."
Let a stranger cut my hair? I don't think so.
Oh by the way, The Professor wrote his own text book and doesn't mind quoting his brilliance constantly.
I haven't figured out what I think about this yet.

The first day of school.
I sat through Anthropology, because I didn't want to interrupt the professor when I discovered I was in the wrong class... Thankfully I figured it out, I had an hour before Theatre... I don't know how to tell time...
Psychology is going to be a bugger. There must be three hundred students crammed in there.... Actually there is, the Professor said, it only seats 290. There was standing room only.
I was brain dead after English.
The brain hasn't been used in years. Smoke must be rolling out of my ears, visible for everyone to see.
I hope it all comes into place soon.

Five Hundred Cd's

ITs a bugger puting them away.

There is a decided Crisp feeling in the air.

It's coming! Autumn. Last night the harvest moon sat on the mountain looking like a large piece of custard pie.

I took Dain and Kayla to see, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" Neither one moved an inch through the entire thing.

I found myself laughing loudly, I will purchase that movie when it comes out.

More work on my bedroom today, and I have to go to the University to collect my books!

I got my English 101 straightened out finally. The professor didn't read my original letter, told me I could sit in his class, I needed a code to stay in class... SECRET codes already... it is all about me.. I TOLD YOU SO!

I am happy.

I don't have all the answers, but I got the clues, and as always the rest isn't worth pondering anymore.

So the cooler nights are on the way, the crisp mornings, and the leaves to crunch under my feet.

Kayla starts Kindergarten, Daine goes to the second grade.

It is all good.

Lord of the Weasel's

Weasel Vision?

When it comes down to that last little bit... people come and people go.

Not sure about the abrupt departure of some.. perhaps IT IS ALL ABOUT ME? I originally suspected this.

someone who calls you daily suddenly doesn't call anymore or return your latest call or email.

Betcher Gay!

Nomnot!

Yeah, that explains a lot. WEASEL!

TIME... we ran out of time.
The aligator Excursion was one of the high points. Bone fish Willies was incredible...
The waitress was a cute little thing, she came to our table and sighed, she was having a bad day... then spotted my pink leather watch with the diamonds floating in it.... we talked pink for a few minutes... when the bill came, I put the watch in the tray with the money for our meal.
She was so excited, she almost wet herself, then all the other wait people came over to say how nice that was.... Kevin said, they were checking to see if I had anything else to give away, LMAO!
St. Augustine's was the best, Seeing my long time online friend Anna. was wonderful, she is like the sister I wished I had.
Kevin was generous and thoughtful through the week.

Flight to Boise

I had a wonderful time, I didn't want to go home.
I think I could get addicted to Florida, it's a pretty place, so much to see and do.
Kevin was generous, making it possible to see Anna, I was thankful for that Too.
I made the flight to Phoenix with five minutes to spare, I was the last one on board. The plane was nearly empty, I had three seats to myself!
We had bad turbulence, and it was similar to riding a Grey hound bus... in fact, when the stewardes' chickened out and took their seats, I said, " Hey it's not so bad if you just think your on a bus."
I had terrorist's sitting in front of me, he reminded me of a bobble head... constantly putting his seat back, then up again, he was about to tip over the scotch.
I only screamed once, when the plane dropped about fifty feet.
When I screamed it started a chain reaction and several other people screamed as well.....

Phoenix to Boise was tamer at least.
The plane was nearly a half an hour early getting to Boise.. THEY don't know how to say Boise properly... foreigners!!

I don't think I could compare that visit to anything thus far!

I rode an airboat in the swamp and watched alligators.
the Dainish is at home, sigh, He would have peed his pants over the alligator adventure.
I talked to him on the phone yesterday and he told me all about the cat falling into the bath tub, inbetween giggles.
I am going to have to come back again with him.
Look up St. Augustine Florida, I think you should plan a visit there one day, I know I am going to love every minute of it, I have so far loved Florida... (a place I never wanted to go)
I gots mosquito bites all over my legs from the swamp adventure, I guess they enjoyed the lovely scented Off crap...
but there is this thing that walmart sells, that has butane or propane or somthing in it. It is the size of a cell phone, you turn it on, and within ten minutes all mosquitoes are gone in a fifteen foot radious... we were just getting eaten waiting for it to kick in. NOW It really works, its about 25 dollars, I would buy one for our next camping adventure.
If it works in the swamp, the woods ought to be no problem.

Malabar

See ya in a week!

Angry Alien

In poor taste and extremely funny.

Ted Nunes Dream Sheep

I love this cartoon. I saw it in 1999 and have become a fan of Ted Nunes.

Charlie Horse comes to visit again

The light of day does not get into my new room. ( Padded Cell?)
My grand daughter came in to wake me up and I told her to get lost. Not very nice of me.
I thought it was very early in the morning.. NOW I find I have slept till 9:00 AM? I never sleep like that.
The night was full of Charley horses in my legs, and a headache between the eyes.
I simply need to drink more water I bet, it was in the hundreds yesterday.

Daine and I spent part of the evening with Jackie and Al.
I loved every minute of it.
Great food, Great company... They truly have the gift of hospitality.
I almost brought home a baby last night, Brayden her grandson (15 months) and I clicked. Mutual liking society. What a darling baby he is, and Crystal his mom was a treat to talk to.
It was a nice change of pace for all of us.

Raccoon Eyes and Fuzzy Hair

I figured out an important pondering.. .It goes like this, Chelsie told me this ( my youngest daughter) a man looks at me and thinks beautiful! He could never hope to catch a butterfly so fair... Then by luck, somehow he catches me, opens his hands and looks and says, " HEY WAIT! It's a bug...."I think it was Greta Garbo that said, Men always want to go to bed with Greta Garbo, but they wake up in the morning with just me... There is something to that, the mystery is gone in the morning when I got raccoon eyes and fuzzy hair.
NOT that I am Greta Garbo, or who ever it was that said that. Somebody said it, I read it somewhere.
Anyway.. I like mornings, I like waking up with the gift of the " morning wood fairy" It would be a shame to waste such a gift. Sigh... Celibacy sux rocks.

Florida in six days

I don't fly, if I were meant to fly I would have wings.
If I think about it now, I will be worrying for the next six days.
It will be fun... I will like it..
I DON'T want to go.
Malabar Florida... What am I thinking, trying to please everyone again.. Over analyzing what is best for me again.

I should have said no when I had the chance, now because of being dependable, people counting on me, I must go.

It's coming up too fast. six days.

Super Hero Dancers

So, she is the mother in law of my ex...

Or, her daughter is married to my ex husband...
It was nice seeing Ellen again. She wanted to invite me down to her apartment.
Am I hypersensitive? They all act like it was never my house, like I was never married to selfservingbastardboy.
ANYHOOO, I declined out of respect for T H E I R feelings, not like anyone cares about mine.
FUCK NO I don't want to see my old house and how they have decorated it.
I can get on with my life very well thank you, as long as I don't have to have my nose rubbed into the " Might have been's"
But it's been ten years... Yes it has, however some things fester in your soul no matter how you convince yourself how well you feel.
I feel fine... I sing, I am happy, I look YOUNG, I love my children...
BUT I don't want to see my house on Garden street... Ok their house, used to be mine.
Now I get a back bedroom at my kid's new house, and I am thankful they like me enough.. NOW I get to go to school and decide what I want to do when I grow up.
Never have to put up with yelling and hitting again.
I found true happiness the day I saw his backside while I was driving off to the Oregon coast, some 700 miles away.
Stirring up ghosts is never my favorite pastime.

Fritz

Sigh... I think it's time for another impromptu visit you gorgeous man.

Early in the morning

Is Justin Hayward
Gay?
Nobody knows.
I finished cleaning my apartment yesterday, it took 8 hours. Mostly because it was so hot, that I had to keep resting, 104 degrees yesterday, I think.
I dropped the washing machine lid on my left hand, its puffy and it hurts to type..
I hate this "waiting" feeling that has overcome me. Waiting for what?
I don't know, maybe I am waiting for routine.
Janelle's house is full of spontaneity. I prefer to plan mine... can you?
Planned Spontaneity, Faked sincerity?? Justin Hayward's Sexual preference.... These questions and others may never be answered.

So being a bear of little brain (winnie the pooh) I forget I asked and move on to the next pressing dilemna, what to have for breakfast?

I have a Green Day song stuck in my head again... "Waiting" Better then a Neil Diamond song I supose. WAKE UP!

Waiting-- Green Day

I've been waiting for a long time For this moment to come I'm destined For anything...at all Downtown lights will be shining On me like a diamond Ring out under the midnight hour No one can touch me now And I can't turn my back It's too late ready or not at all I'm so much closer than I have ever known... Wake up Dawning of a new era Calling...don't let it catch you falling Ready or not at all So close enough to taste it Almost...I can embrace this Feeling....on the tip of my tongue I'm so much closer than I have ever known... Wake up Better thank your lucks stars.... I've been waiting for a long time For this moment to come I'm destined for anything at all Dumbstruck Colour me stupid Good luck You're gonna need it Where I'm going if I get there... At all.... Wake up

Got Can Opener?

I found my feather boa.. I DID not find the can opener, or my hair brush.SO I look quite fetching in the feather boa opening a can of tuna with a screw driver and a pair of scissors.



always get what I want, whether I appreciate it or not is the question.
What I want:
The freedom to think how I think when I want to think.
The freedom not to think at all.
Freedom... Pure and simple, it's wonderful really.
NO guilt.
I love guilt when it is happening to someone else.
I like being alone, no no! I really do. I find my own company quite soothing.
I don't play games, I don't seek attention, and I have no jealousy if I am talking to someone else.
I don't have to compliment myself needlessly so that I think I am sincere.

I don't have to wonder what I am thinking if I am having a moment of silence... And when I talk too much, it doesn't annoy me greatly.

Ok, this is sounding a little weird, but.. It's Glena's Blog, what the hell did you expect?
I am still mad about Danny, I think I shall go let the air out of his tires..

I know where his bike can be found.... Anyone want to do it for five bucks?

out!

It was Friday night, or was it Saturday? The Overland bar was tedious with it's drama as usual. The crack heads, the pot heads, the tweekers...

My date was getting sossed. My daughter was making everyone around her laugh, she is better to hang out with then most anyone.

I sang "welcome to my nightmare"

I really enjoyed myself... The standing ovation, may have been because I was finished with the song, I am not sure.

vanity suggests it was the romantic sexy stylings of Glena Dusky.. Reality suggests that nobody gives a shit anyway.

The evening did progress, and we managed to make our escape.

AHH the Blue Bouquet. After carefully getting lost in the dark, I FOUND IT! Not bad for being night blind in a most unpleasant way.

The band was finished. My stomach was growling. Was it really nearly 2 AM? jeeez.

I wish we had ditched the Overland bar sooner, now I was disappointed.

It looked like we would get no more music tonight, but perhaps a polish dog in the square.

A lively diatribe from the fifteen year old business manager, of " Dad's Deli"
She said, her Dad really shouldn't expose her to the evil of downtown night life.

I had to agree, but she is such an old soul for fifteen.

Her dad was kind of a ditz, but made great polish hot dogs.

My date was feeling sad for the past, and his father that was more of a man then he would ever be. My daughter was bored with the whole event. It was time to drag ourselves home.

Enough said

This is about as much fun as writing about Jackson's.

HE said yesterday he was coming right over!
hours passed, and no Danny Boy. I was not surprised. I did not call him back or track him to his hideout.
MOVE along people, we are done here, nothing more to see.
Wiped his phone numbers out of my cell phone, and Disgruntedly, move on.
One has to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Test results in

YUP! he is a jerk.
I liked the sincere whine in his voice the best.
I told him, make it easy on himself. Say goodbye now.
AHH but he wants to see me.
He was at the overland playing pool last night, imagine that!
He is sorry for the blatant disregard for my feelings.
It is so tedious.
I told him I wasn't angry, I just realize how unimportant I am to him, and that is all I needed to know.
The rest will sort itself out I think.
He said he will be over later to help with some of my packing. I think if he even does show, which I doubt very much...(the overland calls) it will be the last time, I cannot help feeling bitchy.
Miss Perfect I am NOT.

I got this feeling

I can certainly make someone out to be nicer then they truly are.
If I had carefully inspected the Overland Bar last night, I think someone might have been there, that was supposed to be over here.
I would hasten to say, he blew it.
No call no show is pretty high up on my list of dislikes.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Will he call with an elaborate excuse, will he never call again?
I think it is done, as before. Only he is taking the coward way out.
Once again, a person shows their true side eventually. We can implement all kinds of wonderful qualities into their character, but if they don't have it, they DON'T.
My friend Roger said, if you give people enough rope, they will hang themselves eventually, except me.
BUT we know, I am rare indeed.

Curry permeates my thoughts

Someone is cooking with Curry.
That assails me with memories.
The Bon Marche is no more, it's Macy's now. I used to smell curry when I was walking down town Missoula Montana, there was an Indian Restaurant called the Gilded Lily.
I never ate there, I thought about it, but it was enough for me to walk and shop alone, eating in a restaurant would have been too much for me.
I don't know when I learned to do things on my own, but it took me years.
I hope I am turning into the person, I always wanted to be. I will never be brave, but I will take care of business.

basscythb

basscythb
Originally uploaded by Glena Dusky.

Louis says, A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle

I think...... I came at an odd time for Danny, he is going through growing pains, I think I was pain relief, and because I am a nice womean (at times), he feels guilty because he realized that he only wanted a temp.
but I know.... When a man tells me over and over I am a good woman, and I am soooo beautiful, he is merely trying to convince himself... I am not comfortable with so many compliments.
I think we all play games on some level, without meaning too. I am not sure what my game is with Danny... I think, it's the wait him out... I am sooo wonderful bullshit game
but I would rather have it over, then pretending it's going to go anywhere.
And in all my loving, I think I like my freedom best.

Hide the Red Shirt!

It's finished.
I figured out the guilt thing, I didn't work as hard the last two days as I usually do, so I didn't think I showed my usual integrity.
This is phaze two.
Preparing for school, moving to a new home, getting to know a brilliant man.
I get to enjoy things now, no more of the horrible dread associated with working at Jacksons, I cannot say I am un-grateful. BUT I am mostly relieved I am finished with that vile place.
I have a bucket of Moon Flowers ready to plant at the kids new home. It looks like they get the keys Friday.

Just think! no more low life scum hitting on me, no more back breaking work that goes unnoticed and unappreciated!
I am so Thankful, for everything! the learning experience, and that it is finished.
Now on to phase two!

My life is a song from the eighties

High on you!

Ok, orientation at the U of I today, I am a bit nervous.

Date tonight... nervous about that too.
What to wear? Should I fix my hair? oohhhhh
he is so
Gorgeous, clever, articulate, interesting.
Someone I want to know.
The spark is there too.
Like a magnate he draws me near, and all I can do is smile.

Cuz you Know your Speshule

I worked 12 hours, six PM till six AM.
My kids had my car and they forgot me, so I walked six miles home on aching feet.
Now I am sitting and thinking, I feel guilty for some reason. Maybe I think I should still be working for Jacksons?
Maybe it was the pranks I left for them to find later?
hmmmm Dunno, guess I will sleep on it.

I think it is sinking in

I have been told over the years, that when you are finally satisfied with who you are to a certain point, you no longer require others to verify, or validate your self worth.
Finally I think I got it.
I am in charge of my own happiness, not some wonderful man who must rub my feet, and tell me I am gorgeous every day.
I already KNOW!
and I got a little plastic thing with nobs on it and I can rub my own feet.
I buy my own roses, and if I don't like something about myself, I work on changing it.
And if somebody doesn't like something about me, I don't care a heck of a lot.
I really don't spend evenings wondering why nobody likes me. They don't have to.

What did I say?

Did I say, let the Terror begin?
Last night was beyond all comprehension. At least I had a fleet of nice officers with me till 3:30 AM.
That cut down the customer level for awhile.
ABC Cab driver tried to kill someone in our parking lot.
I saw the guy clear the fence, running. One would have to be really mad to try and run over somone. THERE were times I wanted to run over my ex.

Mmmm Ok, on a happier note,
Sandcrab's Photo Site.
Much better to look at his amazing art, then talk about the VILE WORK PLACE.
NEED I say Dave Bennett is a genius? see for yourself.

http://www.outdooreyes.com/list/thegallerys.php3?photoid=1209&first=first&wh=1

In case of fire, break glass!

Man!
I am so opinion-less today.
ME? I mean the one that talks about everything...
I have nothing to say, I am even writing about nothing, nothing at all.
I am bemused, bewildered, analytical... but OPINIONLESS.
Listening to Toto in the background, listening to the neighbor child scream, does he need help? does she need help?Oh it's not the neighbor at all, it is Daine watching something on TV.
Caspian is home from his surgery and bouncing off the walls, he gave Shadow a big hug and bite on the neck He smells of surgical soap, and medicine.
Nothing slows the kitten down, I wish I had some of his energy, my high point of the evening will be shuffling into the kitchen to make something for dinner.

I will be working into the early morning hours.. unfortunately this is Friday night... the terror will begin.
I find out tonight, what the schedule is for the rest of the week. (she puts the weekly schedule together on Fridays.) I am hoping Monday is the last day I work.
I am hoping I get this apartment packed up soon, and onward to the new place.
I am still flying to Florida in august, I think the tenth or eleventh. I will see Kevin, my old room mate from Oregon, and Anna, my online friend for the past five years.
I hate to fly, I usually wrap my arms around the seat in front of me and hyperventilate.
Too proud to show up drunk, perhaps this time I should.

I don't really want to go, though I look forward to seeing Kevin again, and meeting Anna for the first time. I try to tell myself I can fly without the fear thing, but I know from the past, that it happens whether I want it to or not.
I wasn't meant to fly, I have no wings, even though you say I am an angel.
We both know I am something a bit more earthly then that.

The Cure

Watching Me Fall
The Cure
WATCHING ME FALL ~ yeah I'VE BEEN WATCHING ME FALL FOR IT SEEMS LIKE YEARS ~ WATCHING ME GROW SMALL, I WATCH ME DISAPPEAR ~ SLIPPING OUT MY ORDINARY WORLD, OUT MY ORDINARY EYES ~ yeah SLIPPING OUT THE ORDINARY ME INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE ~ INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE... ~ THERE'S A THIN WHITE COLD NEW MOON AND THE SNOW IS COMING DOWN ~ AND THE NEON BRIGHT TOKYO LIGHTS FLICKER THROUGH THE CROWD ~ I'VE BEEN DRIFTING AROUND FOR HOURS AND I'M LOST AND I'M TIRED ~ WHEN A WHISPER IN MY EAR INSATIABLE BREATHES ~ "WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW ME INSIDE?..." ~ yeah THE ROOM IS SMALL, THE ROOM IS BRIGHT ~ HER HAIR IS BLACK, THE BED IS WHITE ~ AND THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS YOUNG ~ IS ALWAYS YOUNG... ALWAYS YOUNG ~ THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS YOUNG... ~ yeah I'VE BEEN SEEING THEM STRIP TO THE BONE IN THE MIRROR ON THE WALL ~ SEEING HER SWALLOW HIM WHOLE LIKE IT'S NOT ME AT ALL ~ SHE HOLDS OUT HER HANDS AND I FOLLOW HER DOWN TO MY KNEES ~ AND THE SUCKING INSIDE INSATIABLE SMILES ~ "YOU WILL FORGET YOURSELF IN ME..." ~ yeah THE ROOM IS SMALL, THE ROOM IS BRIGHT ~ HER EYES ARE BLACK, THE BED IS WHITE ~ AND THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS YOUNG ~ AND THE NIGHT GOES ON AND ON ~ AND THE NIGHT IS ALWAYS YOUNG ~ AND THE NIGHT IS NEVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER... AND THEN IT'S GONE ~ AND THEN IT'S GONE ~ yeah THEN IT'S GONE... ~ yeah IT'S A CRUEL MEAN COLD NEW DAY AND OUTSIDE THE SNOW IS STILL COMING DOWN ~ AND IN THE BLOOD RED TOKYO BED I WATCH ME COMING ROUND ~ SHE PULLED HIM DOWN FOR HOURS ~ DEEPER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN ~ AND AS I FALL IN THE MIRROR ON THE WALL ~ I'M WATCHING ME SCREAM ~ I'M WATCHING ME SCREAM ~ I'M WATCHING ME SCREAM ~ I'M WATCHING ME SCREAM ~ yeah I'VE BEEN WATCHING ME GO FOR IT MUST BE YEARS ~ WATCHING ME GET SLOW, I WATCH ME DISAPPEAR ~ AND ONE DAY, yeah I KNOW, I WON'T COME BACK AT ALL... ~ AND ALWAYS OVER AND OVER IN HIS ORDINARY EYES ~ I'M WATCHING ME FALL ~ I'M WATCHING ME FALL ~ I'M WATCHING ME FALL ~ I'M WATCHING ME FALL

sunday

sunday
Originally uploaded by Glena Dusky.

Your part

life will take us where it is supposed to, the part we play is to keep our eyes open and learn what we can.
After that... PARTY!

dogs butt

It is Tuesday, I worked into the early morning hours, and I smelled sulfur all night, but I did not see the fire works.
I am having a fat tire ale before bed.
I gave my two weeks notice today, Jayne made no response... she is probably doing the happy dance today!!
Mr. Singletary was in the parking lot trying to get my attention this morning, I pretended not to notice.
I figured he was in jail for getting into tweek again.
The high point of my evening was the woman waiting on a friend to bring a hand cuff key for her girl friend cuffed to a chair at her home.
She said, she received a desperate call, that the boyfriend had cuffed her to a chair, and the key failed to release her, so she came to our store to meet someone with a key... JUST more of the bull shit that greets us every evening at the Jackson's on Chinden Ave.
The sweet young thing asked me out again. I reminded him that I had plants older then him.
WHAT is it with the twenty somethings?? I told him another time, I don't date men that I could have given birth to.
He laughed and asked me out again.
( does he have a death wish?)
Someone thought I was cranky and left a box of tampons on the counter for me to see.
BIG WHOOPE.
I was cranky tonight, I do not like people that yell at me across the store when I am waiting on customers. THEY can wait their turn.
TIGGER SYNDROME

I'm the only one!
I am going to strip naked and sleep in my feather bed in a few minutes.
OR perhaps one more beer.
Man I sound decadent.
TWO WEEKS TWO WEEKS TWO WEEKS TWO WEEKS!! Yah babybaby.

You are living proof, my love is alive and not dead

I thought about you today, I didn't mean to, but there it was. The thought crept up and filled me.

Hope your happy, I hope you found what you wanted.

No hard feelings, you saved me from some fate worse then life.

I shall not think that it's the Merlot, and the clove cigarette, I haven't smoked for a year.

I have come a long way from the woman that you left standing with heart in hand and hopeless feelings of love lost.

I am the blessed one, the one who sees the good.

I am happy.

bugger it!

"I wish the goblins would come and take you away. Right NOW!"

Say_What_You_Feel

Say_What_You_Feel
Originally uploaded by Glena Dusky.

Vexed and Glorious

Ahhh Susan.
Lies allegations and things left unsaid.

What bothers me is he lies when it isn't necessary.

So you wanna be a kept woman? you should make a more sensible choice in men. OR actually Pick a MAN.
This one is on the edge. a socialpath by nature, going through the motions of emotion, but never truly feeling love.
Interesting... All the women in his past have done him wrong, and he is such a GOOD MAN.
If you believe that one, I got a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.
I think my favorite lie up to date, is the " I need time" when he was really going back to his ex wife to make one more effort.
After a few weeks, she realized that she had made the right decision to get rid of him, and he came racing back to me, " OH how he had missed me."
It didn't ring true, I knew he was hiding something and lying to me, but I didn't know how much.
I wonder what lies he will tell you? Because obviously, he is getting quite used to being dishonest, and you are getting quite used to being in Denial.
Just remember this, most women tell the truth when it comes to a relationship, so if women complain that he is an asshole, you might give that some thought... YOU might think about it.
I think I hold the record up to date, he asked me to marry him after three days, you had to wait, what? Three weeks?
Don't you think that is creepy? Well you should.
There is no such thing as Destiny, and OH how he is such a good man, and you are the right woman for him, the one he has waited for.
He would take his ex wife back in a flash if he could.
He would lie steal and kill to be thought a good man, HE isn't.
He is a promise breaker, liar, manipulator, weasel, and thief.
He isn't what he pretends....
Tell me? Have you heard this line before?
"This is Ricky, the man who loves you." OR " I am not like other men, I know how to treat a woman right."
He wonders why I was so pissed off all the time.
BECAUSE I was on to his stupid game.

The truth will set you free.

Salt

I keep forgetting to buy salt, plain salt, not the idodized type I have. I need plain salt for the Vaporizer.
I am actively exhausted. Don't know why exactly, but I am so tired, my brain isn't functioning. I work today from 2 PM till 10 PM.
We are at the five week mark, but I have to figure out when my orientation is with the BSU, and I have to figure out if I am still going to Florida to Visit.
Waiting for information on the house, Janelle and Dwain want.
Praying for God's will. I supose it is no secret to God that I doubt there is a will for my life, merely survival and he doesn't know that I am here.
Like the Israelites, I have forgotten the past answers to prayer and his loving guidance.I need to remember again.

GT_4Wands3

GT_4Wands3
Originally uploaded by Glena Dusky.

Four of Wands
in the Future position.

A card in the right position indicates your questions future.

You have achieved a satisfying goal. Take time to celebrate this. Be proud of what you have done.

GT_AcePentaclesrev2

GT_AcePentaclesrev2
Originally uploaded by Glena Dusky.

Ace of Pentacles - Reversed
in the Present position.

A card in the middle position indicates what is affecting your question at this time.

Be aware of the temptation to undervalue or squander this gift because you consider mundane and a true gift of the universe.

GT_20Judgement1

GT_20Judgement1
Originally uploaded by Glena Dusky.

Judgement
in the Past position.

A card in the left position indicates what has happened to affect your question in the past.

The message of Judgement is clear. You are being called to do something. You might not want to hear it and are actively drowning it out with noise of your daily life. You might be afraid of the call and the changes it will bring. Listen to it and face it with courage and action. It promises a more fulfilling life.