Its all Good 

Letter to a dear friend

It's a rainy day in Boise, and I am on temporary again. When I met you I was on temporary... I keep waiting for my "REAL" life to kick in.
I suppose it is all real.
I am not wearing the correct hat, I am NOT a convenience store clerk, I am Not overweight and over forty.
I am still idealistic, happy and hopeful for the future.
I think I did get everything I wanted.
Alone is not so bad, I am eccentric and I dance to the music in my head, some people would not like that.
You never minded, you just stepped around me.
I put Genesis on today, and heard Silver rainbow, good rainy day song.
Lucy dislikes house cleaning days, she thinks the vacuum cleaner is evil and going to bite her.
I used to like when I put on a random CD and you would say, " Good Choice"
We agreed a lot.
I am trying to live in the now, trying to accept that working graveyards at that store would be hard, but I can do this, I have a goal.
Something that is for me, for a change.
I will get a degree, I will succeed.
I have always drifted from one thing to the next. Now I want something, and I ask the forces that be, to be on my side for a change.
Life has been awful and wonderful all at once. If I never had children I would never know what a broken heart can feel like.
A relationship can do that, but it is not the same.
A mother puts everything she has into loving her children, and she hopes for the best.
Janelle will embrace the good lessons, Chelsie will think of the bad times. That is not really fair to Chelsie, she has become philosophical in a sweet way.
Daine is so very like me, he lives in the now and thinks that life is good.
Daine says the best time for him was living with you. He felt secure.
Strange that his best time came right after our worst time, but of course I did not know that at the time.
The more I know the more I want to be a hermit and be left alone.
I can give my coat away, I can even give my heart away, but I will always keep my head.
I am far more analytical then anyone would guess, far more realistic when you peel off the layers of romanticism.
A puff of smoke ready to float away again.
Sometimes I think, " I can do Idaho, I can live here and fit in."
other times I think, GAWD Get me out of Idaho.
I do not know what will happen, but I think it is all good, when you weigh it all at the end, it was all good.
Even Carl was good, and I am thankful that is over.
Because with every experience I learn and I grow and I try harder to be strong. Not only strong, but Smart.
You are probably wondering why I am dropping this drivel on you, I am not sure. Perhaps I think we didn't always communicate on a deep
level, we can be very surfacy when we want. Nobody really gets into our heads, they only think they do.
We are experts at putting blocks up and smiling widely at everyone in our path....thinking what fools people are.
I know you.
I am glad that I know you.
Glena


A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

Tortured Noises

I am going into counseling.
Maybe addictions, but I was thinking more toward behavior modification. This type of counselor helps people change, without the use of drugs.
I am a firm believer that we are who we are, and modifying drugs are only a temporary fix. I have been on anti depressants before, and though a temporary fix,, they don't cure the major problem, Meaning you still have to wake up with the person you are, and you better love and respect that person. Work on the things you can change, and the rest isn't very important.
EASY to say...

Anyway, Boise State University Accepted Glena, heaven help us both!