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Saturday, February 15, 2003

People say: "Oh you have been hurt before." and I think: "I've done my share of hurting others too. I don't know which is worse, being the hurter or the hurtie." One has guilt, the other pain.
My mind knows that I have to risk being hurt, if I want to share life with someone else. But when it's hurting, my heart can't seem to get past the pain.
Ah, the constant struggle between the mind and the heart, logic and emotion. At times, I wish I had one, without the other, but I can never decide which one I want. Mostly I wish I could figure out how much of each I should use at any particular time.
Seems like it's always one or the other, never a balanced mix of the two. Maybe it's like oil and water, just won't mix, or maybe like a rotten potatoe, one spoils another.
Who knows, I guess it's just life.
People say: "Oh you have been hurt before." I answer "who hasn't?" it's not about that, its about NOT wasting one's time on unpleasant people. Time is, Time Was, Time is to come.
I want to make the best of what I have, I don't want to be bothered with people who waste time complaining about nothing.
What I want To speak my mind and never hurt anyones feelings. To be able to tell dream world from reality. Security, hopes and dreams realized. A special someone to share it with.

Sunday, February 09, 2003

What I want!
One day without darkness, one day without despair.
One day without tears, one day of cheer.
One day of happiness, one day of fulfillment.
I know it's out there, I just have to find it. Just one day.
And then I'll make that day last forever.
If not, I hope that day is my last.

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