I could be a country western song about now

I got a job! I was so excited and nervous and the pay was amazing... I got up for my first day of orientation yesterday, ready to go, my eyes were itchy, so I grabbed the eye drops, don't want red blood shot eyes do we?
Something wasn't right, I knew instantly I had just poured super glue into my right eye.
I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse out my eye, but nothing worked, I tried soap and water, I even tried to put a little finger nail polish remover on the lashes, but I was so scared it would soak into the eye, and since I could not open it, I would be trapped in horrible pain.
What to do! I can't have this happen on the first day of work. So I drove.. I don't to this day know how I did it, because.. funny thing when one eye won't move neither will the other because they move simultaneously. So I could barely see out of the left eye, I had to turn my head, and each time the eye inadvertently moved it sent waves of pain through my whole head.The pain was so great it was giving me an Adrenalin rush. I was shaking uncontrollably too, like a drug addict needing a fix.
I told the job recruiters what I had done, the one said, that I needed to go home, better luck next time on the job, they would find another one for me. I put on the performance of my life, Not that I wanted to, but you know what I am facing. Eviction, finding homes for my pets, etc. I need this job, I cannot lose this job. So they let me go. It was training day. I didn't get much out of the training because I couldn't see, and it was getting worse. Finally after a break I asked someone to drive me to the hospital where I sat for four hours. And after Dr. Dumbass tried to pull my eyelids apart, then attempted to paste a bandage over the damage, which was like glass shards being pushed into my eye. They called a charity cab and sent me to the hospital in Boise where I was told I would probably have to have surgery.
The doctor removed all my eyelashes, and put a contact bandage on the cornea. My son in law came and got me in boise with all the grand daughters. They said, "Gramma, let us see your eye." when I turned around and showed them, there was stunned silence. It was pretty awful, the eyelids are so swollen that they are turned nearly inside out. The eye is very swollen and red. I look hideous.
The company said they were so impressed with my dedication that they want to keep me and will resume my training tomorrow.
Oddly I am still scared, I made a horrible first impression and I can barely see, but Dammit, I am determined to keep this job, its only 4 weeks anyway, but maybe they will keep me permanently.
However I know I don't really shine at anything but integrity, so it might be enough. there are thirteen other new hires, all younger, faster and smarter then me. So I get to be the drama queen. SHIT!