My now empty life is wrapped up in one bare nail in the wall above my bed. That single nail held a picture of the love of my life as I held her on our wedding day. It had collected dust there for over 17 years. What have I done with the picture? Why didn't I take better care of it while it was at arms reach? Why do I see it's true value and miss it so much, now that it's gone? Where has it gone, and will it ever return? Will it ever hang on a nail again. Will another picture ever hang on it's nail? What pain in one simple nail? How will I ever sleep again, staring at one bare nail? The picture of that nail lingers even in my confused daze. What dreadful questions will tomorrow bring? Why do my darkest days always bring me back to this anonomous stage?

Darkest despair?
now there's an interesting thought. Life has had some strange twists for me, and I still think I wouldn't take any of it back. Except for the loss of my first son. Losing a child never goes away, it stays deep inside you and the memorys pop up at the strangest times.
Daine was a surprize. I always call Daine my viking warriour.
For the longest time friends thought his name was viking, cuz that's what I always call him.
Daine came to me when I was forty. So as he would say, we are both five now.
Only the little smart ass is now telling people his mum is Forty Five, and he is Zero Five.
He is the child of my old age, he makes me laugh, breaks my heart. My wishes and dreams follow him.
The child of my heart, the son I wanted.
Sometimes I Fear he is only with me temporary, so I cherish every moment with him.
He is a bit indulged, not spoiled, just cherished, listened to, hugged and loved a lot

Feelings of Divorce
Take the love of your life,
your friend, your lover,
your confidant, your rock.
Hold her by the hand and
feel her soft and silky skin.
Place her delicate little finger in a vise.
Then slowly, very slowly tighten the vise.
Listen to her scream in agony.
Remember all the things
she's done for you.
Watch her writhe in pain.
See her struggle for escape.
Look into her eyes,
as the tears stream down her cheeks.
Hear her beg for relief and
feel the bones crack in her hand.
Watch the skin split
and the blood drip on the floor.
Read the thoughts and feelings
etched on her face.
Then leave her alone for a while,
and return to release the vise.
Only to realize that she's been doing the same to you,
and you've both been doing the same to your child.
Repeat this torture every hour ,
of everyday, for weeks and months.
Then and only then will you understand,
the feelings of divorce.

"To bed to bed", said Sleepy Head, "Not so fast" Said Slow, "Put on a pan" Said Hungry Nan, "We'll eat before we go."