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Friday, September 07, 2007

1 Thing


OK, one thing I would ask if I didn't have so much pride eking out of me...
"Steven, were you relieved? Were you wanting to end it but you were too much of a wimp to do so?" Cuz I wonder what the hell I was doing those ten months being in love with your selfish time depraved ass. I sure wonder, but I know it is called L O V E. who ever said Love was a four letter word was right.
Everything I went through these last few months, I went through alone.

Crap I feel sick today

Can't sleep can't eat.
The animals decided to surround me last night, that was odd. A dog on one side of me and the cat on the other. They never do that.
I must be putting out a bad aura.
my pride says, he has started a cycle of treating me off hand, and it will never get better, he made no effort to stop me yesterday
he turned white when I told him I was done, and he said, "I wish it was different" It seemed cowardly to me. I never thought of steven as weak, but this is how it looks to me now.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

I did it

After careful consideration and feeling empty about my relationship with Hatcher, I gave him the boot.
Man it hurts.
My prediction is he will get over me, way too easy. I never held a place of importance in his heart.
I will whine more later.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Mcdoodle

last night I had to drive to Boise for Psych class, the class runs six to nine PM, and I leave Daine home all by himself

I decided to take him and get him dinner on the way, but it takes nearly an hour to get there,and I was running out of time to get to class, so I gave him twenty bucks and told him to play at the student union building while I was in class

this was a bad idea, all I could do was worry about him

what if he didn't find the sub, what if he got lost or bored, what if someone kidnapped him

class got out early, it was only an hour and a half, so I hurried across campus to go and find him

he was happily playing a video game and had survived all by himself. We walked to the car in the rain and had a McDonald's dinner with the left over quarters, I am glad we had that experience, but I wont do it again, too many things could go wrong.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

psych whatever!

So here we have September, and my depression is finally lifting, I think hormones are to blame... (when aren't they?) Psych whatever, I worked damn hard to read the first two chapters, then went to west campus to download the notes for class tonight. The notes didn't remotely resemble the book I had been reading. I Mentioned this to Dr. Professor whatever, he said, "Oh no, I will explain that later, we aren't going to use the book after all." MMM 65 dollars for the used version of the stupid text book. I have the receipt, I hope I get my money back. There is a deadline on getting your money back, I don't think it has past yet.
I took Daine with me, I let him go to the Sub by himself with twenty dollars to play video games. I had a panic that perhaps I had done a bad thing, he is only ten, what if he gets kidnapped or lost? I had a hard time concentrating in class, worrying about what I had done. We got out an hour and a half early, this was good, I high tailed it to the Sub and found the little boy happily playing video games all by himself. I am not going to do that again, I worried too much about him, even though he was fine, I had no way to check up on him while I was at the other side of campus in class. Stupid Me.

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