I have sinned greatly against all mankind 26198

But I didn't mean to!
I took out five totes of toys that the boy never played with since.. like 2oo6 or something and some of them were stuffed animals. But.. not Sherman the black sheep, or the bat, or dragon, or gecko frog, or the sea turtle. However apparently the others had sentimental significance that I was not aware of. He is thirteen and borderline goth, and how was I to know?
I re hauled the whole bedroom and put him to work, I threw out my large pale green rug,that's all about 17 years old, and my huge towering cat post with all the shelves and posts to scratch, and lots of other things, I traded desks with Daine. He got the big roll top and I got the old TV console from the sixties, that I like as a desk. And I got the kitties a flat scratcher and some new toys, and I am still cleaning. I had three beers, the new Henry's Summer Ale, and I dyed my hair a very wild red. I am going to bed now, thank you very much for your time.

Tuesday Afternoon----26143

I don't watch very much TV, I like "the good wife" and "bones" and that Cop show from California, it's after the CSI one with what's his name in it... see what I mean? That one has the Goth chick in it that knows everything. I don't like too many cop shows or morbid CSI shows, too damn many of them on TV in my opinion. I am the sensitive viewer.. I like Sci Fi or fantasy, a little action adventure sometimes, but nothing too gory.
I don't watch sports, I don't watch nascar, I don't care if people do, it certainly is a harmless pastime.
I like barbecue, at the apartments we have to use the gas grill, in my opinion that's just steaming the food, I like Cooking over hard wood the best, but briquette's will do in a pinch.
I usually have something with lots of veggies and tofu on it. Not going to inflict that on anyone else, I have meat issues... NO I am not a militant Vegetarian, I eat meat, I just don't as often. My son eats a lot of meat, I think it's good for kids.
For dinner, I had raw carrots, cherry tomatoes, avocado,yellow corn tortilla chips, and a few bing cherries.
Oh and a container of blueberry yogurt. Daine had the subway sandwich, and the rest of the stuff. HEY! I worked all day I wasn't interested in cooking a big dinner, especially after a visit to WALMART. The dreaded walmart, you know, its just anti-American.. walmart is. I was hoping to get in and out, but I got behind the "people of walmart" I cannot believe the people that shop there.The guy in front of me had a loaded down cart, I was looking at all the junk food thinking, that I would like to go home with him, mine had all health conscience stuff in it, Some meat, mostly veggies, tofu, yogurt. I did have a polish sausage in there, I like those, but my stomach doesn't like them, so I eat them rarely. Anyway the guy in front of me, looked like some gangster type, and I wasn't watching him, but all of a sudden he is beat red and taking stuff out of the cart and putting it back, the poor guy didn't have enough money, and he tried time and again to get the amount right. Eventually he had a number he could afford and payed and left, I felt bad for him, the line had gotten long behind me, and the cashier was sympathetic but trying to hurry him up. I have been there before many times, and I avoided looking at him to save face, I began to patiently look at the magazines on cellulose and fat movie stars, I was almost ready to hum a little tune.
My dog was happy to see me when I got home, the 13 year old was engrossed in a video game, and I interrupted it to enlist his help in carrying the few groceries.
Soon school will be out, and he is NOT going to sit on his behind all summer, I won't allow that.
The butterflies are out of their house, and the ladybug larvae are mostly legs up, I wrote and told insectlore.com they said they would send me more bugs, I think that's nice of them, I don't know why the lady bugs didn't make it, they have in the past.
I am going to park it on the couch with my silly dog and watch that CSI show with whats his name.. hope your evening is lovely.

Lyrics by the Wrens; Miss me

everyone was talking
about the minutes
that you walked into the room
and how you made them listen
to your bitching
and you're leaving me real soon
i don't wanna hear you miss me, miss me
i don't wanna hear you talk about it
i don't wanna hear you miss me, i don't, i don't wanna
you miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, miss me now
you've messed me up, you miss me

thought he was so perfect
never noticing the sucker i'd become
then i hear through your best friends
that your sick off me, i'm not the only one
and everyone said, "it's over, tough"
everyone said it's over, tough
but i was not listening
until you called me up that night
told me that you had to say, goodbye

and i don't want to hear a word about you
the shit you're gonna work through
your going to find, your going to find, you, you
you miss me now, you mest me up
you miss me, miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, you miss me

don't know what you got on me
i'll even it, just you wait and see, yeah
that i'll get my way with you
then we'll see exactly who left who
and i don't wanna hear you miss me, miss me
i don't wanna hear you talk about us
i don't wanna hear you miss me, i don't, i don't wanna
you miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, miss me now, you've messed me up
you miss me, you miss me

Simple

I want to move back to the Oregon coast, or perhaps Washington.
When I dream; I dream big. I Think about a small cottage by the sea. I am not greedy, I don't need a large house, or fine car, I just need enough.
This wasn't how I planned things either, this being alone stuff. However I am not willing to settle, alone is better then settling. my company is predictable. I am the most honest person I have ever met, I would like someone around who has integrity like I do, and that off sense of humor, and the joy that I have even when things are shit, I can still see the good.
I constantly care about people, and I have the imagination to see how things can be, but no man has fit that plan, and I wonder about myself at times. I have been divorced 15 years, and the baggage is mostly gone, I don't think about the things I left behind, only the thankfulness I have for finally being free from the abuse and broken promises. When I was young I was very pretty and men wanted to acquire me, now that I am older, men my age would prefere to date woman my daughters' age. Men my age are hard to come by. The thing is, I like men, I always have. I have two fantastic brothers. And I think I am rambling! I like to talk. I tend to talk too much, I am working on the listening part. People have things to say and I want to know what it is. Other times I think... its all crap and I have better things to do, HA!
Picture this:
A stone cottage set back from the rocks, green ground; so green, you can't describe the many shades. Goats, and dogs and cats, and the sound of water crashing on those rocks.
A long walk on the beach every morning and the dogs running up ahead chasing the seagull. Me hoping the dog never catches a bird, because he tries.
I am thinking... of making soap and candles with all that goat milk and selling it in town, I want to create something beautiful, I want to make a living that doesn't require depending on a company's opinion of me, good or bad. I want freedom I guess. AND I think it is poached egg time, I fix the dog one every morning too.
They boy is still asleep, he probably will sleep till noon. I think he has grown 4 inches in one month, how do kids do that? It has to hurt to grow so much so fast!
He turned thirteen yesterday, and he is still a very nice kid to have around.