Stupid

So guess what I found out you stupid self serving arrogant bitch?
This isn't the 19th century, someone can get a divorce without spousal permission. YOU don't have to sign the freeking papers, he can divorce your all mighty self anyway, what do you say to that? Now I just have to see if Wonder Boy is really serious. He sounds it.

Picnic in the park

Today I feel better then yesterday. I had blood drawn this morning. They can now tell what my blood has been doing for a three month span, isn't that amazing?
I took a picnic lunch to Caldwell to be with Steven. We had a lovely time. He told me his wife has a message for me.
What a shit she is. She said, "TELL HER< I will never never let you go and I refuse to divorce you, I don't want to be divorced." She doesn't care that she and Steven are both unhappy. She doesn't care what Steven wants, she only cares for what she wants.
I got news for her... I am going to keep being my sweet self and see what happens next. What a jerk!

SO, yeah, I know I know

I don't feel it coming from you anymore. I think you are perplexed, sad, un-certain,scared,stuck in limbo.
Do you change your mind? Do you want to be married still? Are you just afraid you cannot make it without her?
I think I am ready to let you go, I keep trying, but my heart calls me back.
I think I have to make it on my own, we are supposed to be friends, you are supposed to be here for me, and you really do try. I think being sick makes me ugly to you. You think I look like hell, and looks are so fucking important.
My eyes are hollow, I want to sleep, I have nothing cute to say, I am feeling down, and I don't feel like keeping a fake smile stuck on my face, like some fat barbie doll.
I think once we get the anemia and bleeding stopped I am going to be all right, I don't think it's cancer, I think its some hormone defeciency. I do feel and look like hell, and I am depressed, have been, I am going to quit the psychotropic drugs, I am still anxious, and I think I will just have Dr. Armentrout help me set up some type of care plan. I will have to get out of the house every day when school starts. Anxiety will just have to be ignored, I am tired of dinking around with drugs that are suposed to help, but give more side effects then benefits.
BITE ME!

Chatty Cathy

forty five years ago there was a little girl who loved her Chatty Cathy very much, and an evil big brother that took the doll apart.
I found this one on ebay for fourteen dollars, they usually go for around 200.00, I have washed and set her hair. Yes I am pleased. she is around fifty years old and doesn't talk anymore, I bet people wished I didn't either. HA

Dragging my ass

Today walking from the bedroom to the kitchen is a big ordeal.
IS knowing why, making me even more tired? I am trying to clean house, I give up, my bed says, "Glena Glena" so I am going to crawl into it for a few hours. Poor Daine, his mother is the most boring on record.

Ok

So I am severly anemic.. I supose seven months of period contributed to that.
HOWEVER and this is a big one, last year my pap came up abnormal and no one called me.
Now I have to have some horrible procedure done to me including but not limited to a wire being shoved gently into my taataa and getting a specimin from my uterus>>>>>>>> Barbarians.....

Morality fluctuates

I question whether conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances.
I am moral by my own standards.
I believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.
I believe that not all things work for all people.
Standing firmly in the middle of the road, ME.

Yet Again

Daine waited up for me last night, I thought it was so cute. He barely made it to bed without falling over.
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I see Dr. Keif today about my on going period. seven months. WOW< I probably should have seen her sooner, but I have no pain, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal, my age you know?
Then Dr. Turner said, "Uterine Cancer" and I decided to take this seriously.
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I told Bruce all about Steven. I am getting the impression he wants to compete. It isn't about that, I just wanted to confide in a friend, and Bruce is my friend. He said he could suck his initials in my inner thigh if I wanted to truly get rid of S. Intriguing idea? NOT!