I am wondering about my strength of character, my judgment, my ability to make a simple decision.
At least when in a partnership you can discuss it.
I moved to a place that has closed a mill with 400 lay offs another mill to follow with 200 employees.
I am under qualified for every job I have applied for.
I have lost time and security by leaving Brookings.
Daine is having a hard time and feels very insecure right now.

I would head back to Brookings but for a few factors in the way, (ONE) I don't have the money, (TWO) I don't have a job, (Three) I don't have a place to live.
I think I am supposed to leave Brookings anyway. You could find a good job, but if you ever lost it you would be dirt, there isn't work, and the cost of living and rent is HIGH.
There are not programs, there is not help, do not kid yourself.
IF I were another color, I might be able to get some assistance. BUT overweight, over 40 and single doesn't count as a minority.... HMMMM I think it does.
I am lonely, I am afraid to leave the house. I have applied for countless jobs, and I haven't had any luck. STILL I think I am supposed to stay here, Patience isn't one of my better virtues, but A WHOLE MONTH!! you think I would get something.
One of my Brookings girl friends wants me to Join the Mormon church.. AS IF>>> There are times when I feel very close to packing it in. I don't quit praying, but I am hoping I can learn something positive, I am hoping I can still hold my head up and take away some understanding that helps me LIKE me. I don't like me much lately. I seem to be gullible and trusting, I don't lie, so therefore I don't understand people who do.
I have ZERO tolerance for abuse. Living with Michael taught me that. NEVER will I allow someone to hurt my children. But I have been hurt time and time again, I don't understand it. I guess I need to trust that I am in the right place and all comes together for good to them that Love God.

Some Relief please.
Its hot, I am tired of filling out job applications till my fingers hurt so bad I cannot hold a coffee mug.
Just hand me a job, a home and daycare. Fanks.

MMM OK< I gave him a cloth diaper and a squirt gun and asked him to wash my car.
All was quiet for 15 minutes. I got concerned and peeked outside.
HE was upside down on the windshield of the car, he was wiping it off. Very ingenious I thought. BUT we couldn't have that. I brought him inside, he was soaking wet and hungry. That worked, I had fixed him his favorite dinner. Teriaki chicken and baked potatoe.
Before that we had made home made clay, and designed alien worlds. I have plastic fish and shells, Daine enjoyed creating.
I am Out of smokes, that is on my mind. I haven't bought cloves in three weeks. I don't know where to get them here. I would like one about now. I smoked a half one this morning, and that is it.
I usually don't notice I am out till the third day. ahh I took the day off from looking for work. Tomorrow I better get back on track.

I like William Blake, Thank's Buddy.
I got a few things straight, I appreciate your words. I think visiting my cousin Patty is a good idea. AS long as she knows I am not interested in being a Mormon.
Lately I am hearing it again.
No that is not the path I should take, this I know.