blah blady blah blah blah

I am cold, even though I am wearing layers. My house still stinks like dog, and I am running the vaporiser to keep from coughing.
NOW onto something positive. You know, I have the nicest kid. 12 years old and still not a sign of the mouthy teenager that I have been warned is lurking there. I hear about thirteen, you will understand why some species eat their young. So now I just enjoy the kid, and listen to what he has to say, and I am glad he still wants to tell me what he is thinking.
I got a relaxation CD from the speech therapist. (she thinks she can teach me to relax... thats called booze baby.) I put it on in Daines room. He said it was wonderful, he fell asleep right away, the first night. The second night it didn't work. I don't know, perhaps we will try it again, if it doesn't work night three, I will give up on it.

15236 HA! the magic bullet

Proton Pump inhibitor.
I was all set for a horrible breathing attack in the early morning, and I took the Nexium at night, and I didn't get one, and I don't have that horrible lump in my throat.
LETS hope this works, because I am ready for this to end. I am ready to live without fear.
Speech therapist wanted me to take it twice a day, but the insurance company in their infinate wisdom thinks they know whats best and won't let me have the medication twice a day. Today I search for an OTC version, and pray for the best. In as much as I pray anymore.

I thought

4 Am I think, and it happened after not happening for several weeks. Whooop Whooop My vocal cords had slammed shut and I couldn't breathe. I jumped out of bed and tried the technique the speech therapist had taught me, I tried it three times, and it didn't work. Daine heard me stumbling around making that horrible noise and he came running out of his room. It didn't work, was all I could think. I found the asthma inhaler, which isn't supposed to work, and tried to get that into me. Finally the spasms quieted.
WHY? I am doing everything I am supposed to do, I am not supposed to have these things anymore. When am I going to get better? I have had enough of this stuff.

15205 Oregon Coast circa 1995

Why I want to go back;
August 24th, 1995:
It was one of those perfect days that I couldn't believe was real. So beautiful that it hurt my eyes. Before computer, before most of my patience and optimism was squashed.
I was sitting on a rock listening to Janelle crack sunflower seeds above me and lazily toss them on my head. We were sitting on rocks high up overlooking the ocean, and the rock seemed tailor made for our butts. I wonder if we could ever find them again if we climbed down that beach path. My dog, half chow and half lab was practically doing cartwheels for joy. It was a long way from a cage at the humane society in Boise Idaho, to a deserted beach on the Oregon coast. He ran into the waves that were coming in and out, he dodged, and jumped with total doggie happiness. He chased birds in flight, one minute then checked on Chelsie who braved the cold water to swim. He was a family dog, and never quite liked anyone else.
The wind blew my hair back from my face I remember and I had such hope for a new beginning. 18 years of marriage had finally come to a stormy end, and I was free for the first time in many years.

DammitJim

I went to work, I had asked the office yesterday if we should call the client in advance since he declined our service on Monday. They said, oh no, blah blah blah.. I went over there today. and he answered the door in his underwear and said, he had plans for the day. I asked him if he had called the office to cancel, and he said yes. I rather doubt he did. I went to the office and I asked them, they said, NO he hadn't called. I said, FIRE HIM. they blinked at me like I had just sprouted horns. I said, do you have any work for me, and Felicia said at three thirty to six fifteen. and I declined. NOW why did I do that? I wanted to work in the morning and I don't transition from one idea to the next very rapidly. JUST like my aspberger clients. I am so like them...
Chelsie called me while I was mulling that over...thinking maybe I should call back and take the job, but not knowing what it is makes me nervous, because it could be very unpleasant... and and... I am being a weazle aren't I? Back to Chelsie, she wanted to know what I Was doing, I said I am on call for work. She wanted to know if I would help her finish moving and I said no, thinking about my shoulder, it hurts so bad these days, and I declined physical therapy, BECAUSE.."deep Breath" I already have voice therapy twice a week, and I NEED to work and quit adding more things for me to drive to without pay.Dr Armen, Heather, Dentist on Friday. I just need to work now, ok? Ok!
SO I brought over the cardboard boxes to janelles' house for chelsie and I was getting ready to come back home, and Quinn put on his socks and said, I am going with Gramma. He had his coat and was still in his underwear. VERY cute, he was so sure I would leave him, he grabbed my leg, and said it again, I AM GOING WITH GRAMMA. Chelsie said do you want him? and I said, how could I resist? so we got his pants on him and I took him. He is playing with Daines toy cap guns, the dog is DEAD DEAD because Quinn shot him five times. (with a toy gun) He has had lunch and watched Cayoo, and hauled out cars and toys from Daine's room. This pisses Daine off because the little guys trash his room, and I do not stop them. BAD GRAMMA. Quinn calls me Grabba.
He calls his Auntie Janelle, Emo
He used the potty, and then for some reason he wet his pants. I was going to do a load of laundry anyway, so I put his stuff in the wash. I put a pair of Dain's boxers on him, and of course they wouldn't stay up, so I put a rubber band on the back and he has a tail. He was quite impressed with the ingenuity. I am a puppy he said.

"5 Star Wars status updates" by Brian Murphy

http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794889
If star wars charactors used face book. Funny!

It looks like Congratulations are in order

Her gift from God... I think not. Only a month ago, I was told he thought about me, and I should trust him. I did not trust him and my instincts were correct. May you live long and experience great happiness.

AND quit sending me cartoon porn on my cell phone, JEEEZ

Just a thought

I'm STILL living in my own private Idaho

Where do you get rid of an old couch? NO NO NO this one is not good enough for a second hand store. My cats have sharpened claws on the back, the cushion covers zippers are broken and the stuffing is sliding out, and it's the ugliest thing I ever saw, red and green plaid, just vile.
My house stinks like dog, my carpets look like dirt, and everything is covered in a fine layer of dust. I thought I cleaned up around here, what gives? The dirt fairies came by when I wasn't looking.
Today I was a mess because I had two new clients I had never met, and I wasn't well versed on what I was supposed to do with them once I did pick them up. I went into work early and discussed this with my trainer. (HA trainer sounds like I am a wild beastie) It seems I was missing some important paperwork, like WHAT I am supposed to do with them once I pick them up. I got that and headed out to my first client's house. He decided he didn't want to go out today. DECIDED?!! I think he should be fired from our services. Not only did I waste the time and gas to go out there, I don't get paid a penny for my trouble. Then I was told that the other client's mother wasn't going to have her 22 year old son see me until she had met me. She lives 15 miles away, so this is inconvenient. SOOO I asked the sub department if they had any work for me today, and she sent me to a christian school to sit with and 11 year old boy and help him with his homework. HE was positively delightful and I enjoyed him immensely. I hope I meet him again.
So I find myself home early, which is fine because I really like that kid of mine. I like spending time with him.
Ray took me out to lunch before he headed back to Minnesota, that was a nice change. I am still wondering how I am going to get more gas in my car before I get paid. The clutch is still holding out by the way, and my car stinks like dog.
Such is the good life, I'm telling you.