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Friday, June 06, 2003

I am heading to Albany Oregon, I lived there in the eightys, and when my husband's job transfered us, I thought it was the end of something beautiful. I would love to go back there, and after checking rent in Brookings again.....900 dollars for two bedrooms, GET REAL!!! I am hoping to head north. Wish my fears didn't out do my optomism.

Things are strange here, and odd game of cat and mouse.
Jim nearly peed his pants when I got up around 11ish to go the the bathroom, he was busy typing away, writing letters to the love lorn, explaining that he is their knight in shining armor. IS it bad karma for me to allow these women to find out for themselves?? I feel sorry for the next one in line. Who ever she may be.
Then he comes to bed and plants sweet sloppy kisses on me.
I wonder if he wants me as well as keeping someone else on the hook.
I am a bit perplexed and amused by the whole thing.
He is far worse with Daine too, so this weekend will be good to get away, we are staying with some friends, and I told a lie....
I said I was visiting a cousin Ruth and applying for work, the work part is true.
I feel bad about telling a lie, but then again, I feel in this case, I have to survive, and the only way is to play this game, that I don't know whats going on.
He really thinks I don't know.
If I move to Albany, big burley men will come down and load the truck for me... ahhhh my idea of a great day.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Today I am haveing emotional overload. I cannot do it. I will be living in my car as of June 12TH, God please be on my side.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

in the beginning.... he was so thoughtful, just little things like leaving a towel out for me, or fixing me a cup of coffee, but soon he was unhappy with everything. It took very little time. Poor Jim, I feel very sad for him, this is the rest of his life, miserable, going from woman to woman, because he will never find THE ONE, until he becomes a real human being.... boy thats deep, better write that down,

Monday, June 02, 2003

When you are living in a 'bad situation' you realise your not all that you thought you were. We gotta live through the bad in order to appreciate the good.
Heard "YOU DONT NEED ANY FUCKING WATER" shouted last night at a small and thirsty person getting himself a drink at bedtime... SO now he is limiting Daine's water?? Already Daine has to hide in his room, is not allowed to eat with us... GAWD How did I not see this coming? Read his ads he is sending out. He says he is a calm quiet man, who doesn't sweat the small stuff. EXCUSE ME< whats this thing about Daine not being able to have a drink of water?
OH he is honest and a light drinker.... GAG GAG RETCH PUKE>>>>>>> He is still looking for the one? I hope he finds her, but I think it is going to have to be in HELL< the type that could put up with his shit would have to be very SPECIAL indeed.

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