Do you change your mind? Do you want to be married still? Are you just afraid you cannot make it without her?
I think I am ready to let you go, I keep trying, but my heart calls me back.
I think I have to make it on my own, we are supposed to be friends, you are supposed to be here for me, and you really do try. I think being sick makes me ugly to you. You think I look like hell, and looks are so fucking important.
My eyes are hollow, I want to sleep, I have nothing cute to say, I am feeling down, and I don't feel like keeping a fake smile stuck on my face, like some fat barbie doll.
I think once we get the anemia and bleeding stopped I am going to be all right, I don't think it's cancer, I think its some hormone defeciency. I do feel and look like hell, and I am depressed, have been, I am going to quit the psychotropic drugs, I am still anxious, and I think I will just have Dr. Armentrout help me set up some type of care plan. I will have to get out of the house every day when school starts. Anxiety will just have to be ignored, I am tired of dinking around with drugs that are suposed to help, but give more side effects then benefits.
BITE ME!
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