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Friday, September 19, 2008

Boom


I don't know how it happened. I don't know how things got away from me, but they did.
That stuff, you know, things beyond my control. Andy took off and never came back, I understand he is upset and cannot communicate very well, however he has taken things too far. I am going to look for a job and when he comes back, it is up to him what he wants to do about our "relationship" Because I am tired of this game, I don't play it. For the first seven days he would not answer my calls or text messages, so I was beginning to figure out that perhaps he didn't want to talk to me. This after he left with a warm smile and a wave, and he would call me when he got "THERE" what a lyer he is. I talked to Dear Dr. Armentrout yesterday, he thought since Andy was raised by wolves I should handle him with care and let him come back on his own time if I wanted to continue the relationship. I am never going to get quite what I am looking for from Andy. BUT now I think Andy is being a selfish baby, and I think I can live better on my own. I have never felt so together as I have these last few months. I am un-medicated, and living on my own perceptions, and the dreadfuls seem far away, even though my life is far from perfect. I do hate living in limbo, I would like Andy to make up his mind and quit this game he is playing. In fact I am starting to feel angry. I have been very good to him. I have expectations from life as well, and he isn't even in the big picture, more like the little smudge in the corner of the comic book.

1 comment:

Kimmie said...

ya know.....I really like the way you're looking at the whole situation.

My DH does something dumb. I look at my in-laws and say to myself "Yep! Totally know where THIS is coming from." and move the hell on....

:0)

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