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Monday, November 28, 2005
It doesn't look so good from here
The day started at under twenty degrees Fahrenheit.
It is so cold it hurts to breathe out of my nose. So I breathe out of my mouth. I walk along puffing and mouth breathing, I suddenly realize how ridiculous this must look, pant puff pant puff.
So far the knee is holding up as I walk. I am thankful for this, I hate annoying displays of pain, especially my own.
English--I have to re-write the vile paper that I merely spit out to start with.
Theatre--I missed the play I was supposed to review for one of our main grades..."F"
Psychology--Finals in two weeks, I am not ready.
After psychology, I amble down to the student union building for a quick bite. I realize that I have nine dollars to last me till January, but I am hungry and I didn't prepare in advance, its too cold to walk back to the car.
I figure I will get a bag of chips and a bottle of juice, that shouldn't cost too much.
All the chips look disgusting, but the sushi looks good. So I bring up a diet coke and a tray of sushi to the counter.
Mr. Studly is busy watching the pretty young blond make a food decision. He ignores me.
She brings up her purchase, and he makes polite and friendly conversation with her.
I stand. Next the busty brunette. He makes conversation with her, and ignores me.
I try to gain eye contact. Finally I ask him to ring me up. He says "Certainly" with a bright smile. "HAVE A NICE DAY" I take my purchase out of the store without answering.
I find a seat, and blow my nose noisily, it is bleeding. I proceed to eat the sushi and steel myself for the dive into the philosophy book. It will take all my concentration, I was already dozing off in psych, I have no hope that philosophy will keep me awake.
Happily, I finish two assignments. I notice something odd about the page numbers... SHIT two and a half hours of work on the wrong assignment.
OK< there is still some time left before I go do the test pig thing in the Pshych lab.
I finish the correct assignment, and proceed out the door to the educational building, its damn cold. My finger is going numb under the warm glove, once again my nose hurts to breathe, but I avoid breathing out of my mouth, not wanting to look like a trout on land.
Educational building. I am there to take a survey as part of my grade in Psychology. I am hoping to end this soon, and also hoping I understand the simple instructions. I have a difficult time, I am very literal minded and sometimes I think instructors are speaking a different language to me.
They hand out three pieces of papers, they inform us that only one paper gets our name and student ID.number.
I struggle with the questions, knowing that I have some difficulting tracking what I am reading and where to put the answer. After twenty minutes of work, I discover that I put the answers on the wrong sheet of paper. I have to go back and put them on the correct one and erase them on the question sheet.
The instructor has said, that when everyone is finished we can go home. Everyone has finished, except me, busily erasing and re-writing 160 questions. Most eyes are on me now, people are sighing. I can feel my face turn red, I do not wish to be here, and now it seems I am a dunderhead.
The girl next to me has her leg crossed and is swinging her foot so it bumps my backpack every so often. I wish she would stop and she is leaning forward staring at my answer sheet... and SIGHING.
I kept the whole class after. What a wonderful addition to my already poopy day.
I am the last person to walk forward to turn in my paper, most eyes are on me, some look the other way in embarrassment for me. I keep thinking, this isn't the worst thing that could ever happen, its just my worst nightmare, I don't like to make public spectacles. I am wishing it was over, and soon it is, and I am walking in the cold air, wishing I had a hat. I am also thinking that the sushi was very fishy, and I hope that I don't regret eating it later....
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