Tortured Noises

Much to my irritation, I can't move my right leg today. What is that supposed to mean? I can bend it, but it wont go straight, and if I try to straighten it, it sends pain waves so violently up my body I fall.
If I try to stand on my right foot, I collapse. This happened when I was cooking dinner last night.. Beef stew with dumplings,then the dramatic falling on the floor collapsing in pain, writhing in agony, with the Grandchildren looking on, wondering what the hell, that unpredictable Gramma was up to again.
I am applying heat, I don't have time for this bullshit, and going to the doctor doesn't occur to me, I just want it over with.
How am I going to walk around campus tomorrow? I got stuff to do.
Who said I could get old?