Ahh Mamma

I wished you were here. I miss you right now, this moment. mom things have been so bad, gone so wrong, and now that I think I got a handle on it, I want to see you.
I am fifty in May, you died at fifty two. This creeps me out a bit. I am not superstitious about that, just thinking how young you were. So young, I am sorry for all the years you suffered, and I am thankful that I was there for you, I loved you then and I love you now.
NOW Mommy I am doing things I never would have done a few years ago, my integrity has fallen by the wayside, and I don't know if it will ever be right, I could show him to you, I could tell you all about him, you would like him, though you would not approve.
Poverty has been a major part of my life for the last eleven years. Divorce from Michael who you loved and the birth of a new son, another beautiful child of mine that you would never see. You missed all my children and now my grandchildren. You should have stayed around longer. Do you know that Leah is still around? I think she lost her mind, they all seem to do that in her family. Kinda Karma ain't it?
Shit, I sit here crying thinking about you, I need to think on other things. I wish you would pay me a visit. When you left the earth so sudden I thought you would haunt me but I never saw you again, only in your casket, and I knew you were not there.
I think you whispered in Janelle's ear when she was born, that's all I have from you.
You would adore that child, she is such a bright spirit, just like you were. She could charm a bird from a tree just like you, but she does not know it.
Come pay me a visit in my dreams, I promise I will listen this time.
Love Glena Jean