coping is not enough

I seriously don't care about anything. I have assignments to do, things to clean.
Dr put me on some more stuff, I told her, I don't really want to be medicated, I just want feel normal. She said some of us don't get that choice, you have to accept it.
Accepting isn't a strong point. Minor things blow me away, I am overwhelmed and upset.
I want to curl up into the fetal position and pull the covers over my head.
Sherman stinks, Daine has a tummy ache, the dishes need put away, all this is just little things, and I am feeling OVERWHELMED.
I used to be able to handle day to day things, what the hell is the matter with me? I am sick of feeling like this. I wasn't going to give up, I was fighting it, but here it is like a dark stinky cloud over shadowing everything I try to enjoy.
Bruce asked me what I want for Christmas, I told him I wanted to go "out" I wanted to dress up and fix my hair and go somewhere, maybe a play or a movie.
When he gave me a hug at our thanksgiving dinner, I felt like I was home, and I know that I am not allowed to feel that way about him. He likes waif-like women who are too young for him. I like him. Sadly it isn't going anywhere, and I think it could. However I am a sturdy woman, with that bubble butt that my gramma's German heritage shared with me. I don't mind myself as I am. But wish a certain man would grow up and see past that body image crap.