Darkness of the mind

Graveyard isn't a good shift to analyze one's life. I am like a frozen computer, expectant,optimistic, but still waiting. Waiting on what? I keep thinking about what my oldest said, "there is no such thing as waiting for your real life to kick in, this is your life and you are living it now." Yeah, "she who waits" gets pretty old sometimes. All the time I think. I do not know what I want to do anymore. I dream too much, I think too much I lament too much.
Still plugging away at school and my choices are becoming more limited as I find math looming ahead in the near distance. I don't want to waste anymore time on that shit. I just want my degree and I want to work in a field that I am good at, and confident. I think the best work experience I am getting is at the half way house. Though I remain frightened thinking about how I am out numbered by people who have experienced things that I never will. I learn and I listen. Drat the graveyard.