Avoidance

Why is it I don't trust you? Why do I expect you to mislead, why should it matter? I remind myself it doesn't matter at all.
I had my first day of orientation yesterday, I am going to like this company. They are so concerned with the children that we get a lot of training. I transferred my police back ground check to AFI. Now I wait for the tech that's going to train me to call. Wish they would get off their ass and schedule me! I am ready.
its 8 bucks an hour, and my first pay check won't be until December 31st. I am not sure what to do for Daine's Christmas. I have $1.25 in my checking account. His father didn't put the 100.00 in there either. However if he did... I still have to pay phone bill 50.00 and Internet 50.00 so that still leaves me with 1.25 in the account.
OOH dammit, I Forgot I have some school books in my car to sell back to BSU. I only wonder if they will pay me for them as I am officially kicked out of school. GAWD I am officially kicked out. Hard times count for nothing, BSU cuts me no slack for shit happens.
BUT... being Glena I find a way to work around the bitter disappointment and feeling of failure. I do not have self loathing as some people say about me, I really like me, I just wish I was smarter then I am about predicting trends. I seem to go the wrong way, say and think the wrong thing, and figure it out too late. Apologies aside, I understand that people are not as forgiving as I am, because maybe they don't realized that THIS is all there is. and I am a slow learner you know?