It was seventy degree's and sunny with a light breeze

I am gone gone gone

Tomorrow I will be heading to the coast with Daine,Andy,Andrew and Sherman.
cold misty sea air, crashing waves, wet sand. I am going to like it.
Then there is the Aquarium. Thats lovely, not to mention the touristy things. I like Ripleys and the wax museum. Daine will be amazed. He doesn't get out much, snicker.
Andy will make the trip wonderful, he is the best traveling companion ever.

Remember Me?

Was she ever this young? My mother.
I am told I look just like her.

Janelle said, "at least you will know what you will look like when you are an old lady. Your mom was a pretty old lady."
I reminded her that I am four months from being the same age as my mom when she died.
52. OHH! right.
Well you look younger then your mom did.
Quick save Janelle.

sunday haze

It was church in the morning, lunch, visit sue, talk to Janelle kinda day.
I had a simple salad, romaine, tomato, green onion, and almonds. Liberally sprinkled with ranch dressing, actually I would have liked olive oil and rice vinegar.
I would have liked to create something beautiful, but its a hold your breath kind of day, and wait and see what happens next. DAMN I hate that waiting game. Where am I going to move? where am I going to work? I applied at something in Boise, I have to sign a lease in a few days, I have to get my books. Lazy Glena Jean is taking two classes this semester. I think I am going nuts, nah I am not, I am fine, well ok??
sherman is having the last of the salad I am too bored to eat.
I have to get up at four AM tomorrow. Andy will be talkative, then sleep soundly while I get up at four... I think if he wants to talk late into the night, he can get up early too.

My best friend is back

Everything falls into place, and feels right.
Three months apart and quiet reflection made us both realise that perhaps it is the great love of the century. Andyroo I love you.

my car is cranky

NOW< why did it run so beautifully yesterday. Today it won't start not even with the budging technique Andy showed me.
I called into work. This is driving me crazy, I have always prided myself on being dependable. I have to do something!!
well it looks like tea and crumpets and finish that lovely book I started, and then.. find out how much a starter costs.
At least I got groceries yesterday, so I can cook.

Beloved car broke

Guess it is the starter. Now I have to budge the car whilst in second gear with my ample ass. this produces a click, which in turn puts the starter in the correct position, WHATEVER that is, and the car will start.. in theory.
I got called off work today so I haven't tried my new found technique.
I cannot afford this. I am thankful that this foundling car, found in a field where it had sat for six years runs as good as it does. A tribute to Andy's genius.
It seems now that it is awake, that little cosmetic problems are going on with it. Like the heater vent buttons are stiff, the locks don't work, the doors don't shut, the doors don't open, the emergency break is iffy. However I get very attached to things, and I am fond of this car, I never named it though, I just call it Stanza.
It is faded blue and it has a few dings on the side and the paint has faded over the engine, and I think it needs oil again.
It ticks when the engine is running, what does that mean? NOT a rod. I don't know what a rod is, but they are very bad when they go 'tick tick tick'

Reign them thoughts in

It is an attention deficient type of day. I got stuff going all directions, and I would be eloquent if I could stop and focus.
I was thinking about death. I was thinking about the afterlife, and I don't believe in it anymore.
Too many holes in that theory children. This makes me a bit more selfish, there is no great reward for good deeds. Live a reasonable life, help people, and die. There is no returning there is no higher plane. Like a candle snuffed out, we like the lost flame cease to exist.
We did not exist before life, we do not exist after. So I am thinking, I better get it right, I better do those things I meant to do, because time is marching on and leaving me behind.
I don't like this getting a degree process, everything is on hold till I succeed in that genre.
Jenni asked me, (in regard to religion) "Are you still on our side?" I said yes to relieve her fears, but I suppose that I am not really on that side anymore. I am not bad, I am not inherently evil. I don't need a big god standing over me with a big stick to make me moral. I am what I am alone. I believe in honesty, I keep my word, and I do no harm to anyone. I find that I am more honest with people, perhaps more then most would like, but temperance is sometimes a lie. I do not like to lie.

YIPES bedtime

I am watching shrek, but I have to get up at five AM.
soooo I am going to bed. After much listening to modest mouse and having a pomegranite vodka martini... and thinking much, yes much.
I have decided that all is futile.
Goodnight sweet dreams.
G

Polar Opposites (Modest Mouse)

I'm trying to drink away the part of the day
That I cannot sleep away
-------------------------------------------
So it's a new siege. I am in a Modest Mouse kind of mood today, creative but no outlet.
Lonely but satisfied to be alone.
Wrapped in a warm blanket, I believe I will dive into a good book.
There are several bottles of wine untouched in the fridge....
-------------------------------------------
POLAR OPPOSITES
Polar opposites don't push away
It's the same on the weekends as the rest of the days
And I know I should go but I'll probably stay
And that's all you can do about some things
I'm trying to drink away the part of the day
That I cannot sleep away
Two one eyed dogs, they're looking at stereos
Hi-fi Gods try so hard to make their cars low to the ground
These vibrations oil its teeth
Primer gray is the color when you're done dying
I'm trying to drink away the part of the day
That I cannot sleep away
MODEST MOUSE

Head Trauma Dogs and Mad Cows

I brought Daine home a Lazar pointer thingy. He has been driving the cats and Sherman nuts.I didn't know that the dog would chase it too, so now they are running around the house full speed and trying to run up the wall, in Sherman's case into the wall. I said to the boy that it would be a nice gesture to stop before the dog hits the wall. Sherman being mostly beautiful and not very smart, we need to look out for his interests you see.__________________________________________
I was scheduled to work today, so I headed off to Boise, optimism in hand at around seven o clock this morning.The meeting did not go well and I left without pay. I so dislike welfare Prima-Donna's.I called the office and said, "Due the lack of graciousness of my client, I won't be going back." They called me a few minutes later and asked if I would return to the enemy's apartment and pick up her over due movies and return them. I said..No.
I said if she wants people waiting on her, she is going to have to try a different tact. One involving politeness. I don't deal well with rude people, nor drama queens.AHH and secretly I am so glad, I got my seventeen year old paraplegic back, and he and I get along fine without drama.

OMG!

I often feel like everything revolves around me.

O1_03_09

This is the last day off forever. I will begin working every day, and drive to Boise three days a week. and wish for something else. I heard something new, there is such a thing called Tax Credit Apartments, they go by your income.
Someone said, you probably will pay 260.00 a month. WHAT? I said, I cannot even begin to pay the 588.00 I am trying to pay now. I am three months behind, and my college money will go to catching up, then what? My income isn't going to cover rent even working seven days a week.Because I don't average 8 hours a day, but I must take what I get and suck it up and quit grousing about it. HUH? I need to be THANKFUL.
Grateful, some people don't even have work coming in, and while I was in the office yesterday, there were several calls for people looking for work. The office manager said, Twenty a day, and they are not hiring. OTAY< Glena needs an attitude adjustment.
EVEN So.. Grumpy says, what about an 8 hour job we like? WHAT ABOUT THAT????

Anna

I love my sister Anna. She is from Alabama. She has written a cook book called "Soy of the South" I have included a link to her web page.
Wish her luck, and check out her web page.

It is 2009

It is the new year, I cannot stop time no matter how I beg and plead. Once I was a twenty year old trying my best to fit into the scheme of things, now I am a fifty something still trying to do the same thing.
Someone said the more things change the more they stay the same.
People come and go into my life, I try to make sense of things, but as always, I take the good, leave the rest and know that whatever happens, I am most happiest with myself. I am alone, and it is good.
Sigh it is good, to be an excellent cook, and still sing in a loud clear voice. A voice flawed by time, but still good remotely.
Eyes are still big and green, hands are showing signs of age, knees.. don't even get me started, my knees ache. My mind is cluttered with what should be, and what isn't. I will work on mind clutter for my new year resolution. I will try my best to be honest with others, but mostly I must strive to be honest with myself.

Bees

Official Grades
COMM 101 Fund of Speech (B)
COUNSELING 294 Workshop (A+)
COUNSELING 494 Workshop (B)
SOCIOLOGY 230 Multi-Ethnic Studies (B-)

I am not going to mention Pre-Algebra.... vile

Dancing in the shadow of the dark

I am confused. For one never allowed in your life, or in your home, has no rights to you, then you have no reason to expect me to wait by the phone? as I have.
and you ended the conversation without saying anything that I could understand. Do you want to move on? You must do what you think is right, as I always try to do as well.
Then why do I feel like I have missed something very important?
Just so you know, I am trying as best I can, and I never meant you any harm, but I will accept what verdict you come up with.
I was sure it couldn't go on for long anyway.I do not lie, but you do not trust me.
Too many things are always left un-said, and I do not like the dark.
One who is night blind must always travel in the light.

Jammin!

you know, I am feeling a little down right now. Then "Jammin" by Bob Marley comes on. No matter how yucky I am feeling this song always brings a smile to my face. I don't know what it is, but the sound of Jammin, makes me think of people dancing around in their jammies, and I feel better. I have a pair of Gawd Awful ugly pink flannel jammies with kittys on them. I would wear them to work if I could get away with it. I'm Jammin!

mink

Hard to read, swept away by conflicting emotions, it's a possibility that I am wrong. Again.
I don't want this, can I have a user manual, or a rule book something? Please.
I cannot figure out what I am supposed to do. If I tell all the truth, do I lose eveything? If I lie, how do I feel? I know... bad. I don't lie easily. if even at all. It is easier to be alone. It is easier to close up my feelings and not worry about anyone anymore.

Phook Yooo

It is Sunday. I called walmart to see if they have any recipe card files. I am going to copy all my favorite recipes down for my Chelsie girl. I did it for Janelle a few years ago, and I don't even know if she uses them, but Chelsie has asked for a few recipes lately, like how to make rice, and my coffee cake etc..
walmart put me on hold. I held... I was listening to Phish, so I held longer... finally after twenty minutes I was pretty sure no one was getting back to me. So I called again, I asked the same question, I mentioned that I had been on hold a long time waiting to find out if they had recipe card files. She said, "ok, I will put you on hold..." Still listening to Phish... still holding,I gave them ten minutes this time. I called Walgreen's. The answering machine gave me two choices, cosmetics, or Photo's. I picked photos... the gentleman that answered was very nice. He put the phone down and ran down the aisles to look for Recipe card files. He came back in five minutes, he said they didn't carry them. I was just thankful that someone tried.
On to K-mart. K-mart is having a huge sale, they are busy, but still they have people in there running cash registers and helping customers. I found what I wanted in a few minutes, I went directly up to the check out and was out of the store in 15 minutes. Amazing. It would have been an hour at the dreaded walmart. Walmart REALLY does suck.
Renews my policy to never never shop at WALMART.
they might do an IQ check on some of their customer service representatives... oh they might have to fire the whole staff.

Blizzardly

Dream like, drifting, slick, and I am home making chili. Not too hot, I don't like things too spicy, and I have to feed the boy, boy's do not like spicy food for sure.
I took down the christmas ornaments, I put up my bird houses where the nut crackers had sat.
I know this is all so enlightening. I want to say something about dating, but too many people are reading this sucky blog now, and I am stuck keeping half my thoughts to myself.
Cesar. wake up and smell the coffee buddy!

well it was satisfying

The grand children are happy, the turkey was perfect, the gravy wasn't lumpy, and I enjoyed myself with my family.
I had a glass of wine and took a nap, I am such a light weight.
Tomorrow is work, and take down the decorations, I am ready for what little space I have to be back.
I didn't talk to Cesar much today, it was noticeable. I missed him. I talked to Sue several times, and I texted my friends on the cell phone. It has a cracked screen and I cannot always read what they text me back.
I ate too much, Linda's Salmon cheese spread was great, I made it with a few variations.
I put the parsley in the spread instead of rolled it in it. It was good that way and I left out the horseradish.

So, OMG! what was I thinking?

Left over mashed potatoes, and animal crackers from my stocking... that is what I ate for breakfast. I am not a kid anymore, my stomach is planning its revenge.

Dusky's Pets have Christmas

we got snow

This means I have to drive in it to work. HOWEVER it's an adventure at least, I do hope I don't end up in the snow bank or worse. The studded snow tires on the front do not help as much as I had hoped, I really think you need four of them, not two.
I am permanently cold. I wear flannel to bed, I wear long johns under my jeans, I wear gloves, and I am still cold. I do however have new boots to wear finally, yes yes, this was the high point of our mediocre day. such is life in the fast lane you know.
Daine's presents are wrapped, Sherman's will be wrapped on Wednesday night just before we unwrap them. I forgot to buy something for my stocking, the boy expects my stocking to be full like his is. Santa puts a present under my tree for me too, the lazy ass didn't even wrap it for me this year. (Santa) I suppose this is one of those funny family traditions that the children will remember in passing years long after the crazy old bat is gone.

Walmart sux, Walmart Sux, la la laaa la laaaaa

I found a pair of boots in my size for twelve dollars. they happen to be Turquoise suede, this might look very interesting with my scarlet coat with the black fox fur collar.OR.. I might look like a slightly faded trollop of the night. Cesar says if I can bake cheese cake he might forgive me. I can bake cheese cake, but one should really try my baked keylime pie, to die for!!

I still don't have any boots

STILL, I have avoided walmart for days, but it looks like that is where the boots are hiding out. I liked the red ones I saw on biz.com, but on sale for 150.00 is still no sale for me. sigh.....Walmart it is.

I YAM Hungry

Not that it matters, but SHIT it's nearly four thirty, hours since I had breakfast.
I have to quit the creative bent I am on and get cracking on that present wrapping that I was distracted from earlier.
Next three days I work, and boy is home, I need to get those presents wrapped now.
(he is still at his sisters')
Earlier, I wanted a new pair of boots, my pink plaid rain boots do not cut it in the snow, in fact they are down right chilly. I went to Ross's all they had were those high topped pointy heel things, sure to leave me feet up in the ditch somewhere. Sherman doesn't care about fashion sense, he merely wants to walk fast to the park and jerks the leash hard for a little dog. I could see exactly what would happen if I wore those kind of boots. I NEED winter boots. Apparently so did everyone else, there was limited supply of winter boots, except the dumb high heel ones affore mentioned.
I am still bootless in Boise, its nampa, but that doesn't sound as cool, Bootless in nampa...

The Morning after Let Down

Ya Know... that was one of the best times I ever had. Totally innocent and sweet. Simple enjoying the company of someone who is as un-complicated as a child. Makes me want to hand over the world without a backward glance. Now I am quietly contemplating four loaves of cranberry bread baked fresh this morning, a rug that needs vacuuming, dishes that need to be washed, laundry that needs to be finished, and business with Cesar that needs to be handled. I had a sad letter from him this morning and I do not know how I feel about that actually. I answered him back with honesty and temperance. Such as I can, I am so blunt at times. BUT I did mention a few things that have remained un-said. I don't do "UN-SAID" very well. Everyone knows that. Don't ask Glena anything unless you are prepared for the unvarnished truth.

I knew you long ago

I will take you anyway I can have you baby.

I will cheat

I will dance in front of the full moon. Fill a champagne

glass with moonlight, and drink it while whispering your name.

I will draw your name in the sand and let the tide take it out

I would, to keep you with me.

I would make a pact with the wind, and renounce my beliefs

I know we knew each other before somehow,

because you feel like home to me

this comes from my heart,

I am not good with words

I don't understand poetry.

I don't have to.

Green Eyed Wolf

OOOOH No, don't say it.
Fat little blue birds and green Eyed wolves do not mix well.there is no hope. I do not want to go there.
Can't people just portray who they are without all of the regalia? Come on, as far as I know I am just Glena Jean, she who waits, but the wolf even said, "You were not meant to be alone." and the truth is, I was not, I am very passionate. who wants to sleep in my feather bed and listen to novels of dragons and magic? who wants to drink wine and grow flowers and walk late at night, and dream of the sea? WHO? Who wants to drink wine invoked with love spells, and heal the sick, and be free? Free to be me. I dream, but I dream alone.

All along the watch tower

There must be some way out of here, said the joker to the thief, there's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Oddly I am thinking of escape, and listening to Dave Mason's version of the watch tower. I can't get no relief, and I do not have much patience, and I do not know what the future holds, and I am afraid to look into my crystal ball. It sits collecting dust next to the sea shells and pictures of the sea. The crystal ball sits on brass dolphin tails, it waits. Time is relative, I do not know the year, but I know that I too gather dust.

aerial, airy, diaphanous, gauzy, gossamer, sheer, transparent, vaporous, celestial, delicate, divine, empyrean

SOOO Freaking not suprised

What starts out as a good connection, an interesting meeting ends in silence.
Contact is cut off, and expectations are halted. Bite me Weazle Boy! Because that is what you are.
I had no designs on your person, come on! What did you think was going to happen? I would fall madly in love with you and hang onto your heals and slow down your foray into the wild world of singleness? I am still seeing people, and you are not top of the list.

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
Albert Einstein

Homemade Orange Liqueur

Homemade Orange Liqueur

Indgredients:

1-1/2 cups sugar
1 cup water
1/2 cup grated orange zest
1-1/2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice
1-1/2 cups 80 proof vodka

Bring the sugar and water to a boil and dissolve into a simple syrup over medium heat. Stir to keep from scorching. Remove from the heat and allow to cool until it is just warm to the touch

The syrup into a clean 1 quart (or larger) jar with a tight fitting lid. Add the zest, juice and vodka. Cover and shake well.

Store in a cool dark place for a month. Shake weekly.

After a month, pour liquid over cheesecloth into a clean jar, discard the solids. Filter again into the liqueurs final container by pouring through a fine sieve or strainer.

This is AMAZING when kept in the freezer and served ice cold!

Enjoy! And if you would like to search for more recipes for cordials, liqueurs, brandies and wines that you can make at home, visit me at the farm! www.farmatnanticokecreek.com

Have a great Thursday and do something delicious! (like make Orange Liqueur!)

Colleen

www.foodwineartdesign.com

Finally

I am meeting Penny and Sue at the west campus to study for the Communications final on Wednesday, it is going to be a hard test.
Tuesday night is Ethnicity Sociology final. YEAH, I am done. Andyroo said he would put my winter tires on for me, I was wondering if I should watch and make sure he puts the bolts in too?
He isn't what he seems you know. Not a man of his word, not a good man. I actually want the tires, but I don't want to see him. I dislike awkwardness. and it will be awkward.
On a happy note, I met the most interesting person. She who waits shall wait some more.

She who waits...part two
Here I go again, trying to define what I think is missing from my life.
I think I nailed it. I was talking to my friend Tom, and it suddenly hit me everything is so temporary. I am tired of temporary, I want to be doing what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life, not these shitty little jobs to pay the rent, or not as the case may be.
NOT, rent is two months behind now.
I am not getting what I need intellectually, not spiritually, and making the best of a bad situation is becoming tedious.
Girls just wanna have fun!!

WeDnEsDaY
One more trip to Boise, then my hours are cut to ten a week, of course we know this will not do. HOWEVER the other evil is they will probably find me someone even more vile then the last people.. PEOPLE? make that entities.

I think I have two more weeks of classes, then I am off for six weeks.. I think, its been four years and I am not sure how things go every semester end, because I have the attention span of a gnat.
I am good, no melt down, just lack of interest. An Apricot Ale and I am off to bed.
Nighty Night

Trying for compassion, murder is on my mind.
interestingly, this was one of the worst days of my life, the Alzheimer's patient I take care of, somehow snuck outside and got on his riding mower and was going to run roughshod all over the neighborhood, when I ingeniously pulled out the key, he is so mad, he tried to hit me and called me several unflattering names. I called his family to let them know that he would like a replacement.

BLAH

I work the next 12 hours. Then tomorrow another 12 hours.
Monday after class I go to Boise, then home to take Daine to Karate.
Tuesday, Boise, then class at night.
Wednesday looks like Monday.
Thursday, I work 630AM till 830AM, then 5pm till 830PM
Friday,the early morning, then class, but I am skipping Boise, then I work five till 830.
SOOOO Burned out.

I think the doctor knows what he is talking about
WE just have to follow all the rules and get Daine back on track, he will be fine.
Daine and I put up our tree and Christmas ornaments on Sunday. The cats... the cats...



I figured they would be bad. Santa is hanging dangerously over his sleigh, like he had a bit too much to drink and needs to toss his cookies.
The reindeer are laying down like a great hunting accident...strangely Kiwi hasn't been hanging off the tree like Tarzan, she has left that alone. I have outdoor lights, but I haven't braved putting them up yet, I am not really looking forward to circling my tiny patio with a few lights to look festive. I can be such a Grinch.
I have money worries as per usual, and I am mad at andy for breaking his word yet again. Time to turn the power off on his hopeless ass.
SIGH< Merry Freekin Christmas.

today is managed


We check Dain into St. Lukes Pediatric hospital today. I am not fully aware of what they are doing to him.
The kid has suffered for months, no one is listening to him anymore except me.
I hope they find out what is wrong so they can help us make him better.

I am a fat little blue bird. Shiny objects attract my attention. I am easily distracted and I am very chatty.
JEEZ... Fifty one years old, I still don't look it, and I am essentially very happy, and simple things fill me with great joy.
The last few days have been worth writing in a memory book. They all involve my son.
I am very blessed to have him in my life.

I am