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Saturday, August 11, 2007

Stupid



So guess what I found out you stupid self serving arrogant bitch?
This isn't the 19th century, someone can get a divorce without spousal permission. YOU don't have to sign the freeking papers, he can divorce your all mighty self anyway, what do you say to that? Now I just have to see if Wonder Boy is really serious. He sounds it.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Picnic in the park

Today I feel better then yesterday. I had blood drawn this morning. They can now tell what my blood has been doing for a three month span, isn't that amazing?
I took a picnic lunch to Caldwell to be with Steven. We had a lovely time. He told me his wife has a message for me.
What a shit she is. She said, "TELL HER< I will never never let you go and I refuse to divorce you, I don't want to be divorced." She doesn't care that she and Steven are both unhappy. She doesn't care what Steven wants, she only cares for what she wants.
I got news for her... I am going to keep being my sweet self and see what happens next. What a jerk!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

SO, yeah, I know I know

I don't feel it coming from you anymore. I think you are perplexed, sad, un-certain,scared,stuck in limbo.
Do you change your mind? Do you want to be married still? Are you just afraid you cannot make it without her?
I think I am ready to let you go, I keep trying, but my heart calls me back.
I think I have to make it on my own, we are supposed to be friends, you are supposed to be here for me, and you really do try. I think being sick makes me ugly to you. You think I look like hell, and looks are so fucking important.
My eyes are hollow, I want to sleep, I have nothing cute to say, I am feeling down, and I don't feel like keeping a fake smile stuck on my face, like some fat barbie doll.
I think once we get the anemia and bleeding stopped I am going to be all right, I don't think it's cancer, I think its some hormone defeciency. I do feel and look like hell, and I am depressed, have been, I am going to quit the psychotropic drugs, I am still anxious, and I think I will just have Dr. Armentrout help me set up some type of care plan. I will have to get out of the house every day when school starts. Anxiety will just have to be ignored, I am tired of dinking around with drugs that are suposed to help, but give more side effects then benefits.
BITE ME!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Chatty Cathy


forty five years ago there was a little girl who loved her Chatty Cathy very much, and an evil big brother that took the doll apart.
I found this one on ebay for fourteen dollars, they usually go for around 200.00, I have washed and set her hair. Yes I am pleased. she is around fifty years old and doesn't talk anymore, I bet people wished I didn't either. HA

Dragging my ass

Today walking from the bedroom to the kitchen is a big ordeal.
IS knowing why, making me even more tired? I am trying to clean house, I give up, my bed says, "Glena Glena" so I am going to crawl into it for a few hours. Poor Daine, his mother is the most boring on record.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Ok

So I am severly anemic.. I supose seven months of period contributed to that.
HOWEVER and this is a big one, last year my pap came up abnormal and no one called me.
Now I have to have some horrible procedure done to me including but not limited to a wire being shoved gently into my taataa and getting a specimin from my uterus>>>>>>>> Barbarians.....

Morality fluctuates

I question whether conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances.
I am moral by my own standards.
I believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.
I believe that not all things work for all people.
Standing firmly in the middle of the road, ME.

Yet Again

Daine waited up for me last night, I thought it was so cute. He barely made it to bed without falling over.
----------------------------------------
I see Dr. Keif today about my on going period. seven months. WOW< I probably should have seen her sooner, but I have no pain, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal, my age you know?
Then Dr. Turner said, "Uterine Cancer" and I decided to take this seriously.
----------------------------------------
I told Bruce all about Steven. I am getting the impression he wants to compete. It isn't about that, I just wanted to confide in a friend, and Bruce is my friend. He said he could suck his initials in my inner thigh if I wanted to truly get rid of S. Intriguing idea? NOT!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Randomisms again

It's Saturday night. I am too tired and broke to do anything... surprise all the prince charmings who wanted to ask me out haven't come up with anything imaginative.
I have decided that I am not dating any of the yahoos. I don't want to go to some one's house and sit on my ass and avoid seduction. I am tired of being on the menu.
What I want is to go OUT dammit, see things do things, not be DONE

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Randomisms from an Attention deficient


I survived the night, I paid the rent, I borrowed money, AND I got stuck with the bail bond, Thank you Su Ling Garcia. Thank you for not making an effort, thank you for being a putz and a loser, and re-newing my vow not to help people anymore.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

SLLLLLLEEEEEP!

I can't sleep and I am tired. I have to work midnight tonight to 8 A M tomorrow.
All I want to do is play, and quit worrying about money for a change.
I still have to come up with twenty bucks for the rent, not a large amount, but I don't have it. HOWEVER I rejoice, my paychecks have looked better lately.
I am making a chicken thing. I marinated the chicken in a cup of mayonaise, quarter cup of soy sause,two tablespoons worchestershire, 2 tablespoons of chili sause,ground fresh ginger and garlic.
After I soaked the chicken breasts in that for an hour, I put them in the oven at 350 degrees, I will see what happens next. They smell really good.
Add some baked potatoes and fresh salad, (As opposed to stale salad) and we got dinner. I am still tired, I need to take a walk with the annoying cocker spaniel and equally annoying boy.
Steven has decreed that I need a walk around the park every day.
He is right, I feel better when I get out.
Still having a period, this has lasted since February. I should have went to the Dr. earlier, but I thought it was just the change and it would ease up. It hasn't.
So I see Dr. Keif on Monday, she with the personality of a rock. I really cannot stand that woman, but I think she is a good Dr. and will find out what's going on with me.

Monday, July 30, 2007

They make me feel good



The yellow ones smell like honey,the orange ones smell like skunk!

Time is a runaway

AAAAAH the sodden wet blanket of depression. One has a weasel and the other has a flag. SHIT! I feel so disjointed, I have been fighting it for days, I am ready to let it roll over me, taking no prisoners.
I really need to get out some. I really need a darling man to pay attention to me, I need that child to be less up my butt. Stupid DOG stupid CAT, gold fish are even needy.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

where to begin

It's not august yet, and I am thinking of my favorite month October. I can still wear my Reef Flip Flops, but my toes get cold in the morning. I can dress in orange and proudly display my halloween collection (WHICH if anyone noticed is up all year around!) Autumn is that magical time of year I love so much, but I am still stuck in July, with 103 degree days.There is only a light cooling off at night.
It's so hot it almost hurts to breathe, the air is dry and my hair crackles with electricity. My skin itches, my eyes fog. Don't get me wrong I love summer, but Autumn is my favorite, only I miss the flowers growing on the porch then.
Right now, I have Moon flowers winding there way up my fence on my tiny little patio.


Ipomoea alba, otherwise known as Moonflowers are so called because they bloom in the evening. They have large 4 to 6 inch fragrant, white or pink flowers on twining vines. The flowers open quickly in the evening and last through the night, remaining open until touched by the morning Sun.

Moonflowers grow to a height of about 15 feet. The leaves are rather large which allows the plant to be used as an annual in a northern garden. Propagation is usually by seed. The seed should be nicked with a file and then soaked overnight before planting. Moonflowers should be planted when the Moon is new or increasing in light!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Now I gotta cook dinner


I am thinking about the baby sitting in a huge claw foot bath tub and refusing to get out. She knows whats good.
I would have felt the same way.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Thats what Glena's are

Spent the day with my oldest daughter and three grand daughters. That baby Ava is wild. She lifted up my shirt to blow raspberries on my belly and gave me a filthy look and slowly put my shirt down. I don't know what she was thinking.
She fell off the coffee table twice, talked on my TV remote like it was a cell phone, fed the dog a cranberry popsicle and turned the TV off and on several times. MAN! I love babies. I cannot imagine why she is so plump, she never stops.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Frozen Burritoes and dirty looks



OK, I miss that little boy. It's not as much fun without his inquisitive glance and incessant questions about everything.
The sprinkler outside is stuck on my window, the noise of it over powers the Jethro Tull I am listening to without rebuke.
EXCEPT the cat is giving me a dirty look, and I don't know why. He doesn't eat burritos. MAYBE? he hates Jethro Tull? This look I am getting is a bit unnerving.
Earlier when I got home from work, the cat thought he would go outside while I walked the dog, and I had to put him firmly in his place.
James is a deep thinker, he probably planning on biting my toes after I fall asleep. Considering the yawns, it won't be long till I am in bed and out like a rock.

Friday, July 20, 2007

The boy is gone

Big brother just swooped in and took the boy. The rest of my day is going to be busy, I am going to a late lunch with John, then taking Sue around to pay bills and run errands and co-sign on a bail bond, I don't know for sure what that means, only that I am screwed if she skips bail.
I am going to have to walk the dog to the park every morning. Little boys are very useful, and OH that reminds me feed his little gold fish.
I hope they make it till he gets home.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Boredboredboredbored

I was looking for inspiration in the dirty dishes stacked in the sink, I was thinking of making the un-made bed, I went by the boy's room and noticed it needed picking up, I put the photo albums in the credenza. Credenza! Don't you love that word. In this case it means and old stereo cabinet filled with high school annuals and 33RPM records. The legs were falling off once, Dwain helped me screw those back on, and told me to empty it before moving it from now on... as he rubbed his sore back from helping me move all my stuff into his house.
I was going to put on some Jethro Tull, I got a dirty look from the boy of the house, and so we are listening to Bob Marley. I love Jammin', its funny it always makes me smile. "Movement of the people" does not bring pleasant thoughts, I think of bran muffins and stuffed up toilets... SORRY!
But I digress, I cleaned house, but I am not satisfied with it, OH no not me, I am thinking what else can I pitch out in storage, its looking less crowded in here, but my bedroom... oh dear, its got the old pop bottle cases nailed to the wall filled with shells and rocks, bottles of sand and bells. Perhaps I will grow up one day?
Nahhhh


Monday, July 16, 2007

Jack-in-the-green

JETHRO TULL LYRICS

"Jack-In-The-Green"

Have you seen Jack-In-The-Green?
With his long tail hanging down.
He sits quietly under every tree ---
in the folds of his velvet gown.
He drinks from the empty acorn cup
the dew that dawn sweetly bestows.
And taps his cane upon the ground ---
signals the snowdrops it's time to grow.

It's no fun being Jack-In-The-Green ---
no place to dance, no time for song.
He wears the colours of the summer soldier ---
carries the green flag all the winter long.

Jack, do you never sleep ---
does the green still run deep in your heart?
Or will these changing times,
motorways, powerlines,
keep us apart?
Well, I don't think so ---
I saw some grass growing through the pavements today.

The rowan, the oak and the holly tree
are the charges left for you to groom.
Each blade of grass whispers Jack-In-The-Green.
Oh Jack, please help me through my winter's night.
And we are the berries on the holly tree.
Oh, the mistlethrush is coming.
Jack, put out the light.

OK... the Jethro Tull siege is not over yet.....

so far there is still thirty dollars in the checking account


Did I mention that four men asked me out this weekend? Technically three, I invited myself over to B's house. I enjoy his company and his stories, and can sit and listen to him for hours without a hint of boredom. He at least takes the time to talk to me. S is still in Montana with the wife.I am getting a gripe list on him. It's getting longer and longer. The gist of the problem is I am always way down on his list of things to do.. did I mention things to do? Snicker. Well what the hell did I expect, I suppose I am rather pleasant in that department, enthusiasm counts for something.
What is love? I don't know anymore.
A wants me to meet him,C comes up with easy ways for him to go out, but more inconvenient for me. I guess the price of gas has made everyone cheap and less romantic, but really, give me a man who will come and pick me up and take me home after the date any day over these gentleman who want you to make their life easier.
I think I will get some flak for saying that but it's true. Not enough respect for women anymore or romance.
J is new, he had been building up courage to ask me out for over a month now. I knew this. I smiled at him one day at work, and I could see him blink in surprise. I should not complain that I still can have that effect on some men. He made it a point to come downstairs to the security desk where I was sitting and say hi to me every night we both worked. Yesterday he gave me his number and asked me out for dinner on Friday. I do hate telephones, most people know that. I think they are reserved for a courtesy call, like "HEY I am on my way over, get decent!" Or "do you have my kid? because he is missing."
So I don't like chatting, I cannot do anything with a phone stuck to my ear, and I am perpetually busy, even when I am not busy I am doing something which usually requires hands. Which reminds me I need to call my youngest daughter. I still have her birthday present in the car.
I will get up my gripe list on S soon, I guess he and I need to talk, especially if I am dating again and he doesn't know about that.
Maybe he should call me when he is finally on his own? However I think he will never leave her, its going to be like this forever. I don't like it this way.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Pink Dreams





I bought pink sheets two days ago, and now I am dreaming in pink.
The first dream, I was sitting on a bench next to a pink lake and grounds filled with pink grasses, the sky was pink. A lady with fuzzy white hair came outside and said, "why are you here, this is private property." I said, " I had to come, I match." I was completely dressed in pink.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Red Wool Talon Coat

"The minstral in the gallery"
Jethro Tull siege continues.


I see myself in a red wool Talon coat.
I am going to have it made with turquoise buttons and trim. It shall make me look facinating with my wild red hair.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

JR Simplot Patrol

HELP! I am being held hostage to a big screen TV that shows nothing but pictures of food and non stop country music being piped in. CORNEY country music. I did find the volume control button, but I cannot shut the whole thing off.
Pictures of roasted baby bakers, avocado dices, flame roasted onion,J.R.'s buffalo slices (potatoes really!)and some dude bellowing over my head, "Baby hold on!" What a sense of humor the fates have for me.
The original buttery basted bastard? NO, that's not right and what do we do with FROZEN MASHED POTATOES? I am perplexed, roasted baby spears? Does Mr. Simplot have a lasting dislike for babies? He probably had some ad company name the different types of potatoes and sadly me sitting here with cold pizza and crystal lite for dinner. I wouldn't object to a flame broiled potato stuffed pepper. Maybe someone left me one upstairs in the test kitchen? They have a test kitchen somewhere in the facility.
NOW! to find the control for that vile music.

J.R. Simplot

Monday, July 09, 2007

Waiting on his ass again

Some days I am not photogenic. Beauty must come from within... and I am lacking inner beauty or something.
Waiting on Steven who called at seven thirty to tell me he would be over, its now nine thirty, and I can bet it might be eleven when his other important pressing problems are all solved. He wears a superman suit over his monkey suit, didn't you know?
Daine laments, he wants to know when the Jethro Tull siege will be over. HE said, "Why don't you get on a Bob Marley kick or something?"
Can you believe that kid is ten? He is sitting in his underwear watching TV in his room, because... I am playing Jethro Tull in the living room and pretending to create something beautiful. I did fix him a couple of fried eggs and toast. That is something beautiful isn't it?
I am having coffee with that delicious coconut cream creamer. Its so good it is wicked.
Well that is the big highlight of my day other then waiting on you-know-who.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

2 weeks in a row

I do feel like a spy from the outside world, but I am staying inside the doors, open minded; singing the songs; and watching.
It's hard to explain the feeling of interloper that I have deep inside. The imposter who knows things they in their innocense could only guess at.

Friday, July 06, 2007

More Weirdness


My rent is now caught up minus 83 dollars. What a relief that is! Now we have a home, at least till the next short pay check (snicker)
So now I think I am so smart, I put 75 dollars on my charge card, sixty of it to be used for gas to and from work, and 15 in case I don't plan for lunch. I go to stinker station yesterday and attempt to put some gas in the car, the card is declined. I do not understand this, so I go inside, and they of course ask for ID and eyeball me over like a criminal. NOTE: I was wearing my security uniform with a name badge that clearly has my picture and name displayed on it. I also provided my drivers license. I thought he looked pretty asinine, and in my irritation I asked, "JOSH" to please enunciate when he spoke...I hate mumblers. The card still declined and I feeling pathetic dug through my purse and found three dollars in change to put "ONE WHOLE GALLON" in the tank. I was on empty...sigh...
When I got to work I called the charge card company and after needless music to be held hostage to, (also it was static) I got a "live" one, who put me on hold for another "live" one. Eventually it was brought to my attention that there was an $89 dollar charge from Maryland ( I live in IDAHO@#$%#!!) that I did not authorise, but somehow have to prove that I did not authorise this charge. It is the guilty till proven innocent routine.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

It aint easy being me


So bored depressed worried anxious Anticipating school starting in August, here we go again, lets see if I can manage B's?

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Let's don't and say we did!

I got home around 1:30 a m. I was tired and my eyeballs were hurting from straining in the dark. I had that niggling feeling I was forgetting something. I got inside the apartment and was greeted by the over exuberant cocker spaniel, and when he jumped on me, I discovered the radio still firmly attached to my belt, closer inspection produced the security keys. I knew what this meant, but I didn't want to drive 20 miles back to work. I had to anyway, so I called them and they said, "YES bring them back immediatly." (Spoiled sports)
So it was around three AM when I got my tired behind to bed.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Jethro Tull kind of mood

I go through phases I am in a Jethro Tull kind of mood. You can watch the video on U-tube by clicking on the link below. See what I mean?
Glena

"Witch's Promise"

Lend me your ear while I call you a fool.
You were kissed by a witch one night in the wood,
and later insisted your feelings were true.
The witch's promise was coming,
believing he listened while laughing you flew.

Leaves falling red, yellow, brown, all are the same,
and the love you have found lay outside in the rain.
Washed clean by the water but nursing its pain.
The witch's promise was coming, and you're looking
elsewhere for your own selfish gain.

Keep looking, keep looking for somewhere to be,
well, you're wasting your time, they're not stupid like he is.
Meanwhile leaves are still falling, you're too blind to see.

You won't find it easy now, it's only fair.
He was willing to give to you, you didn't care.
You're waiting for more but you've already had your share.
The witch's promise is turning, so don't you wait up
for him, he's going to be late.

It's Monday after the blue moon


I slept till nine I am a sloth. Last night at work I flooded over all my pads, and there was nothing to do but go into the bathroom and wrap more pads around my saturated panties. Of course I was not allowed to go home, and I had to stand and suffer for three more hours, it could have been worse, it could have been the beginning of my shift. I guess I pack extra clothes from now on. What do you tell your co-workers? I don't know what the etiquette is for Auntie Floe. I think most men would rather NOT know about that stuff. I work with all men. But for now, I know this will be an ongoing problem, I flow very heavy, and its only about an hour grace time for my pads and tampons put together. It is lovely going through the change. I hear that I am getting it pretty easy.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

ooooh I beg for you ( still remains)

Our bed we live, our bed we sleep
Making love and I become you -
Flesh is warm with naked feet
Stabbing thorns and you become me
Oh, I beg for you, you know I beg for you.
She holds my hand we share a laugh,
Sipping orange blossom breezes -
Love is still and sweat remains
A cherished gift unselfish feeling...
Oh, Id beg for you, you know Ill beg for you.
She tells me things, I listen well
Drink the wine and save the water -
Skin is smooth, I steal a glance
Dragon flies gliding over...
Oh, I beg for you - you know I beg for you

Pick a song and sing a yellow nectarine
Take a bath, Ill drink the water that you leave
If you should die before me -
Ask if you can bring a friend
Pick a flower, hold your breath
And drift away...

Friday, June 29, 2007

The Red Dress


Some things are just classic, I bought this dress 8 years ago, and I still love it.

My odd Day

Off to work I go, I am listening to Jethro Tull, and chewing on a piece of watermelon bubble gum. The window is down, the breeze blows my hair...I blow a big bubble,the breeze catches the gum and blows it out of my mouth and straight into my hair. I try in vain to pull it out of my hair, the gum is so sticky that my fingers are now stuck in my hair with the gum. I am now driving down the road with one hand on the steering wheel, and my left hand stuck in my hair. The song playing?..."Thick as a brick" I think I am going to walk into work like this, it's going to look very funny.
When I get to work, I have to cut a chunk of hair out, because the gum is not budging.
Later, I notice my cell phone is missing, I find it in the parking lot, then I smashed my thumb in a drawer, and I forget to put my keys in my purse.
Going home at 1:00 AM they (whoever "THEY" are)have my bolt hole the freeway blocked off, and I cannot squeeze past the barriers, I am forced to figure out how to get home in the dark another way. I am night blind, I do not know where I am. I am lost. IF I had a real boyfriend, I could call and say, " I am lost it is dark and I am scared, can you help me figure this out?" But I do not have a REAL boyfriend, I have Steven who is tucked nicely in bed with "youknowwho" and I am lost somewhere in the dark... still listening to Jethro Tull, but he is not singing "thick as a brick" anymore he is singing, "Too old to rock and roll but too young to die." I wish he would make up his mind. I am silently willing Steven to call me, and rescue me. I do not get a phone call.
I find Amity by accident, but I head the wrong way, I figure this out after nearly driving back to Boise again. If there is a wrong way to go, I will always take it, even if I say, "I think this is the wrong way so I will take it, it still is the wrong way.
Obviously after all the worry I am home safely.
I wonder if you can see the chunk I cut out of my hair?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Really Red




Son hates it, he says he wants his blond mum back.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Shrimp Monterrey


The boy brought home a bag of frozen shrimp from his sister's house yesterday, so I decided to cook it up for dinner. I am about half out of anything interesting to cook for dinner these days.
So I boiled the shrimp, added sea salt, cooked penne pasta in another pot, drained that, added powdered mustard,celery salt, milk,a can of cream of celery soup,parsley,and ground pepper.mixed it up, poured in the drained shrimp and a cup of grated Monterrey jack cheese. It was very good, the boy ate two servings along with green beans, because I don't have any salad stuff.
In the mean time, my sink is blocked up and I don't dare drain the pasta in the sink. The plumber fixed it, turns out... one small piece of orange peel caused the whole trouble. What the hell are garbage disposals good for anyway? I sure don't know, you can't put anything in them, and you have to call after hours maintenance, because heaven forbid anything would go wrong during office hours.

American Cocker spaniel


AKC Ranking: 14
Family: gundog, spaniel
Area of Origin: United States
Date of Origin: 1800s
Original Function: bird flushing and retrieving
Today's Function: spaniel field trials
Avg Size of male: Height: 14.5-15.5 Weight: 24-28
Avg Size of Female: Height: 13.5-14.5 Weight: 24-28
Other Name: cocker spaniel

History
The American version of the cocker spaniel is derived from the English cocker spaniel. In the late 1800s, many English cockers were brought to America, but American hunters preferred a slightly smaller dog to hunt quail and other small game birds. Just how this smaller cocker was developed is not entirely clear; some credit the dog Obo 2nd, born around 1880, as the first true American cocker. But other evidence points to crosses of the English cocker with even smaller toy spaniels (that nonetheless arose from the same ancestral stock). Initially the English and American cocker spaniels were considered varieties of the same breed, but they were officially separated by the AKC in 1935. Although cockers were already popular, after the separation the American cocker surged in popularity and has remained one of the most popular breeds of all time in America. In fact, it was the most popular breed for many years. So popular was it that it was eventually divided into three color varieties: black, particolor and ASCOB, which stands for "any solid color other than black." Only recently has its popularity spread to England, where it was recognized by the English Kennel Club in 1968, and it has gained admirers steadily since.

Temperament
This breed is known as the "merry" cocker, and the name is most fitting. It is playful, cheerful, amiable, sweet, sensitive, willing to please and responsive to its family's wishes. It is not known for retaining its hunting instincts, but it is inquisitive and will appreciate a country outing. It is equally at home in the city and will happily walk on leash for its exercise needs. Some bark a lot; some are overly submissive.

Upkeep
Although it enjoys a romp, the cocker can receive adequate exercise with a long daily walk on leash. The coat of the cocker requires a greater commitment than that of most breeds, although pets can be clipped short. In order to maintain a nice coat, it will need to be brushed and combed two to three times a week, in addition to professional clipping and scissoring every two to three months. Special attention must be paid to ear and eye cleanliness in this breed. The profusely coated feet tend to carry debris. The cocker is physically able to live outside in temperate climates (given adequate shelter), but it is not mentally able to do so; this is such a social dog that to banish it outdoors would not be acceptable. cockers have a tendency to become overweight.
• Life span: 12 – 15 years

Form and Function
The smallest member of the sporting group, the cocker should be compact and sturdy. Its gait is ground-covering, strong and effortless. The coat is silky, flat or slightly wavy, not overly long. Excessive coat can hinder the dog in the field. The head and expression are hallmarks of the breed; the expression is soft and appealing. Though seldom used for its original purpose, the cocker should still be able to spend a day in the field and should be balanced and athletic. It is true, however, that most cockers now have too much coat for field work.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Jethro Tull-Ian Anderson


Jethro Tull - Sweet Dream Lyrics



You'll hear me calling in your sweet dream,
can't hear your daddy's warning cry.
You're going back to be all the things you want to be,
while in sweet dreams you softly sigh.

You hear my voice is calling
to be mine again,
live the rest of your life in a day.
Get out and get what you can
while your mummy's at home a-sleeping.
No time to understand
`cause they lost what they thought they were keeping.

No one can see us in your sweet dream.
don't hear you leave to start the car.
All wrapped up tightly in the coat you borrowed from me,
your place of resting is not far.

You'll hear my voice is calling
to be mine again,
live the rest of your life in a day.
Get out and get what you can
While your mummy's at home a-sleeping.
No time to understand,
`cause they lost what they thought they were keeping.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Listening to Jethro Tull, doing the laundry and thinking of some secret meeting with a lover in the dark forbidding woods. Ahh Jethro and his flute, is such a romantic.

Star Book by Cindy




This was my birthday present from Cindy, its halloween in a tiny little book that makes a star when you tie the ribbons together, I think its pretty kewl!

Friday, June 22, 2007

LISTEN!


I never met a human resource person who couldn't listen.
As I tried to explain to her the schedule for Blue Cross she kept interupting with wrong info.
I SAID>>>>I am working that site so I know what the hours are.
She replies.."OH" Now the dreaded thing has happened, The fantastic T has taken over scheduling. I am so happy for him, he put another scheduler in the hospital, and he gets to do the job, Just Desserts in my opinion.
HOWEVER the gig I hated so much(blue cross of Idaho)and gave a months notice on, just ended last night, and no one thought to tell me from my company, so I had to call Securitas and tell them.... and she argues. What a DINK!
They have Monday and Tuesday open from Five PM till Nine PM, I could do that if they give me ten minutes to get to Direct TV on Tuesdays.
My major objection is hanging out with Frau Haasenpfeffer. Only, she isn't so bad NOW that she had a few days off. ONLY I would be working with another Blue Cross Security Officer. Swing shift is ok, I just can't stand Grave Yard Shift, and couple that with negative hard ass people and you can have your own private hell.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Not a good fit


I told him I wouldn't be going. He said he wasn't going to do it anyway.
WHAT WAS THIS? A test? knowing S, it was probably just kicking idea's around outloud. I still need to buckle down my resolve. Being alone is not the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
Living with someone and being alone is.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Twin Falls Idaho?


Now he is talking about getting a job in Twin falls and me and Daine moving with him.
But but but... I don't want to transfer to Twin Falls from BSU. I don't want to move, what makes him think it will work? He said he is afraid of losing me, I said, 'maybe that just needs to happen.' There was silence on the other end of the line. I Just don't know! I never was one for moving in with someone, its too soon for that, and I would rather have commitment, not fear of losing each other. I would rather have some surety. Some guarantee.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Can't sleep Can't stay awake


Over a month now without a day off, I am so burnt. I am behind on housework and laundry, the house has that smell of disuse. Nothing to eat but a TV Dinner. I need to go to the grocery store, but I avoid that with all I have. I HATE walmart. But Albertson's costs more. Things are looking up, but it all takes so much time. Eventually I will forget how hard it was, and go about my merry way, won't I?

Nataliedee



YEAH! So I like men anyway, their simple little brains are easy to figure out.

Monday, June 18, 2007

fly away glena jean

but you know I drift off where the attention is, I cannot help it, I am not of this world and a free spirit that has been held down to worldly ways too long, someday I shall take flight and I will not look back
Steve says:
i understand
Goddess of Shoes says:
do you really understand? I was supposed to have you in this life time, I FEEL that so strongly, no one pulls me in like you do, even men I have professed to love, I never loved like I love you.

Janelle Graduates from BSU

Sunday, June 17, 2007

You are a bean brain

I expect the only one having a good day is the wench of martyrdom, why don't you see that?
Some people are predestined to be miserable, but it's not going to get them a place in heaven.
I am predestined to be euphoric.
This may find me a place in Hell, however I hate being cold anyway.

Duct Tape and stolen glances



spilled milk in the kitchen. broken fender,vacuum with the strength of a mouse with a straw, cd's that skip, instructions I can't read, mess on the desk, DAINE'S room...sigh,hanging up wet clothes because 'no dryer' Work work work,stupid going nowhere romance,Bruce, Doggie hair everywhere, Chewed up work shoes... doggie everywhere, did I say he was improving? Maybe he feels about my work the same way I do, he did eat those shoes and no others. Recently anyway.
computer programs that won't cooperate,cold coffee, too much coffee,makeup running out, no imagination for dinner, not hungry, too hungry, flirtatious,dead inside,mixed up, dead on,happy, sad, ahhhh medicated, not medicated, Get drunk get laid, thats probably all I need... then I will be saying, hangover, regrets...snicker.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Skating away on the thin ice of a new day


So he holds me tight and kisses me on the nose and tells me he doesn't want anymore stolen moments, he wants to take time to make love to me properly, and he is sorry he cannot spend the night as he had originally said.
I AM QUITE DAFT

Friday, June 15, 2007

Remember Me



One up on ya S.
I told him, I go where I get attention, it is my nature. He may find out yet.
He told his wife. He was forced to, I think he is a dink, why do I still have feelings? Dr. Armen says, I am too smart for S.
SURE showing signs of that, HUH??? snicker snicker

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

All things considered

It was a very nice birthday. The youngest's husband had to leave at five, because there was a TV show he couldn't miss at 8:00pm. So we waited patiently for them to leave, and then we had pie.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The day of lament

I am not scheduled to work this week, my phone is shut off, and I am not going to be able to get caught up on rent.
I called Securitas on my borrowed phone. I got a job for Thursday, an 8PM to 8AM gig, you know those that make me want to throw myself off a cliff kind of gig. I told the work scheduler I would work any thing. So any thing is what I get. I shall not bitch too much. I have to work I cannot see anyway out of debt, but pure honest work.
I get to meet up with the fantastic T again... gawd that man has the humor of a rock.. THOUGH there are those people who have actually seen him smile. I think probably because he was going to fire someone.
I would like to see his little empire fall, but his TYPE never learns to be kind, and never learns to be generous, and lastly, never learns that what is on the outside is not a sign of what is on the inside. Superficial slut, is our Fantastic T.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Milestones? or is it head stones



tomorrow the Goddess turns fifty.
YEAH I am bothered, its all starting to fall in on me.
I have disliked every milestone. Twenty meant teen years were over.
Thirty meant another marker of age,I could not turn back time, I could not make my little girls babies again. Forty was kind of cool, I had a baby boy to mark time with. Fifty is one big jump, and once again I cannot turn back time.

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