Salt Dough Ghosts and Paper Bag Trees

I was visiting Disney FamilyFun.com and thought you'd enjoy this:

Salt Dough Ghosts

http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/halloween-crafts/halloween-decorations/salt-dough-ghosts-671167/


Paper Bag Trees

http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/halloween-crafts/halloween-decorations/paper-bag-trees-671161/

Mini Pumpkins for the kids to make

Saturday in the park

I had a date with Dave. It was ooh so nice. My daughter said, "your taking your dog on a date?" NAH he can wait in the car. We met at municipal park and visited the trout and talked about fish and environment, and tree huggers. He said I needed to live in Oregon. I am an Agnostic, Democrat, Tree Hugging, Pro-socialized medicine. I might as well stand outside of Bsu Bronco stadium and yell "GO VANDALS" My life expectancy isn't very good in conservative Idaho.
He made me laugh and I enjoy his take on things. I said, "I never dated a hot republican before" Just a silly line and I knew it, but he looked surprised then pleased, and he said, "I am not republican, I am libertarian, I will vote either way depending on the candidate." AT last!! I think someone who 'gets' me.
However my generation is lazy, and I am plump, these are all things against my favor. I know he liked me, he could even out talk me, this was an amazing feat to say the least.
AND... my dog did not piddle on his feet when I opened the car door to get inside and Sherman jumped out to greet Dave. Dave took me to the spaghetti station for dinner, totally spontaneous and unplanned. I had spinach ravioli, it was so good, and a glass of lovely red wine, I Don't remember the name, but I got a little buzz from one glass. Oh sorry.. I felt rather silly about that. Then I drove to Chelsie's to spend the night. She stayed home sick the next day, and I watched a movie with Quinn. I am becoming so attached to those baby boys, it is good that I can spend so much time with them.

JEEZ Stevie Nicks can caterwaul!

I cannot imagine why I ever liked her singing, it's lazy.
They play her too much on this radio station.
Today I have had about all I Can take of people whining. YOU guessed it, I answered the phone when Siko was calling me. SHE called constantly today, I was talking to my cousin for an hour and a half, and she called five times in that time. Her message... Oh too much.
AND about fifteen babygirls and sweeties and honeys later, I disengaged myself from the phone call. I asked her not to give me anymore advice. I said it nice, I DID! the odd thing is, I never asked her for advice, because she gives terrible advice, my twelve year old gives better advice then she does. ONCE again, I give her more chances because I know she means well. HOWEVER she is a woman that took the easy way out her whole life, using her twat instead of her brains, THERE! I said it. She pays the price and she has the common sense of a ground squirrel. GAWD how I dislike being called babygirl. I asked her not to do that too. AM I just a cranky old bitch? well probably, but I have been patient with her annoying drama, and I do not wish to be a part of it. I have some hard times happening right now and I am coping the best I can, and I could do without her crap. My oldest daughter thinks I should just write her out of my life, you know? I would like to. She wants favors all the time, and YES she will pay for my gas, but it's usually a whole day endeavor of un-pleasantness plus her smoking, I HATE smelling like a freekin bar after I leave her company. OH dear something good needs to happen to me soon! I am telling you.

In my dreams

I am successful, I am wealthy, I start a community center in a small coastal town. I hire my friend who dreams of being a dancer to teach dance. I employ people to run the center, I provide free daycare after school for the town. I am happy,and healthy. I have been decorating my new home near the beach. Then I wake up and it's stupid CSI shows that I find alarming, and boring sitcoms about sex... and woman trainers abusing fat people.
I used to be fun. I used to believe in tomorrow. Now all I do is look for work and worry.
I baked chocolate chip bars for Dain. Very good, but I couldn't save the roast that I put too much rosemary in. The eggplant was bitter this time, I have heard this happens, but it has never happened to me. So bitter eggplant and too much rosemary is a bad combination. I am going to cook beans and try and salvage the meat. This will probably ruin the beans.
Siko is calling me wanting a favor, I have had my fill of her. NOOO more. Hopeless helpless, needy, annoying, interfering. Two weeks ago, she called a place that I had applied for work and told them to put my application on top! The Nerve! I can kiss that job interview goodbye. I told her as kindly as I could, not to ever do that again, EVER. I will look for work on my own thank you. Her helpful hints are lame. I know she means well that is why I haven't told her off, but she is ON MY LAST NERVE!

Ethnocentrism

I am merely vapid and self involved, it is nothing to do with my country of origin

Scammer's anonymous

I have a job interview tomorrow in Boise. I bet it's another waste of gas to find out that I Have to invite all my friends to sell them something horribly expensive that they neither want or need.. let alone can afford. I will make eleven dollars for this effort.
SUPPOSEDLY, it's for a job as a part time receptionist in a temporary job agency. That alone sounds iffy.Also when they give you a time like 2:45, it sounds like mass interviewing. This is very demeaning and disrespectful to the potential candidate. I shine in mass interviewing, the one time in my life that I can keep my mouth shut. While others babble nervously, I sit looking like a professional. THEN the interviewer asks me a question and my facade ends.
Today I am to go to Meridian for "dress for success" this is a government program that provides used out of style clothes to people looking for work. I hope I get a job soon, more then just being able to pay rent, but that feeling of self esteem I need returned to me. AND I hate the cattle call of Working solutions. Another government program that pays the employees many dollars to give unemployed people stupid advice. I think I have bitched about their lame asses before.

OOOH JEEZ

You are going to spoil face book for me if you continue to use it as a political forum to un-load your racist, republican, commie paranoia crap on.
STOP IT OR BE DELETED.

Gladys Carp

I am getting calls from Allied Collections. Its called Zombie calls. There is no phone number (it shows up unknown on the id) and a recorded message comes on and tells you to call them right away to take care of "THIS MATTER" then hurriedly gives a number to call. I have never been able to write down the number. THEY keep calling for the previous owner of this cell phone number. I looked them up in a google search. I called them. Mohammad (no kidding) answered the phone. He didn't even say the company name, he merely said "Hello" in heavily accented english. I said, "is this Allied Collections?" he assured me that it was. SO I told him I am getting calls from them and I would like them to stop. He asked me for my phone number... I thought "shoot! here we go" but I cautiously gave him my number. then he asked me for my name. I hesitated only a moment, and I said, "GLADYS CARP" and I spelled it out for him, he said, "wait a minute while I research that name." then he put Abhaya on the line. Abhaya said he had to research the name... "he surmised that Gladys Carp was not in his data base. He asked me to spell the name again, then agreed that she was not in his data base. He asked me if I knew where the previous owner of the phone number went. THEY clearly don't know how phone numbers work around here. I tried to explain about how cell phone numbers are assigned and no one knows the previous user of the number... but he didn't understand. He did assure me most effectively that Gladys would not get anymore calls from them.
IF Gladys gets any calls, I will know they are a scam. Gladys is merely an invention of mine, like national weazle day.

it is NATIONAL WEAZLE DAY

AND.. my definition of Weazle is getting out of something extremely tedious. I got out of a ticket, and I got half the money back on the parking space I paid for... and I dropped school for my mental health. it is going to come back and bite me in the butt, however right now this moment, I don't have to write a bunch of papers in APA format, and I don't have to drive to BOISE, and I can look for work full time...YAY.
Dr. Armentrout sees me on Monday. I am feeling pretty fragile right now, but I can see the bright side of national weazle day.

Pissed off in Idaho

Dear Harold,
At this time I am using foodstamps and have no income. I am being solicited by debt collectors day and night.
My medical insurance has been cancelled and I have severe medical problems that I cannot get medication for.
My son has no father and I have to buy second hand clothes for him. I am unable to provide him with the things he needs.
I know that you are a scam, and it isn't nice to lie to people.
Espcially people as angry as me, kindly go fuck yourself
Sincerely
Pissed off in IDaho
“He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armor shouting All the Gods are bastards."

Terry Pratchett



--- On Mon, 9/21/09, Sgt. Harold N. Seabrook wrote:


From: Sgt. Harold N. Seabrook
Subject: Greetings!
To:
Date: Monday, September 21, 2009, 8:58 AM


Good day and compliments, I know this letter will definitely come to you
as a huge surprise, I am Sgt. Harold N. Seabrook, a Georgian soldier,
serving in the Infantry battalion, Iraq.

I am desperately in need of your assistance and I have summoned up courage
to contact you. I am presently in Iraq and I found your contact particulars
in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of
$8,750,000.00 USD to the states or any safe country, as far as I can be
assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here.
This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.

Respectfully,
Sergeant Harold N. Seabrook
Special Troops Battalion (S5) Georgian Soldier
AL-ADEL VILLAGE IRAQ

Be careful what you wish for

What I think I want:
Stability, Job, No more classes, wellness, maybe a nice guy to enjoy activities with.
Nice things for my son.
Less Stress
More Self Esteem.

AND gregg legg

He sent me an email stating that he sees I have contacted his wife and he is not happy.
Of course this pissed me off.
I haven't thought of him in weeks, except to thank my lucky stars that he was leaving me alone.
He is paranoid. I told him that I hadn't contacted his wife and didn't know her name, and he said nice try... F>>>NICE TRY??? What the hell?
I just saw him two times, what does he think, that he made such an impression on me that I had to meet his wife? WHO he stated was his ex- and that is a lie.
I saved his paranoid e-mails in case he causes me problems later.
His name is Greggory Legg... Gregg Legg, ha ha haaaa. His parents must have known what a yuck he was going to be.

12850 and it all sux.

So the weirdi that sent my spidey senses tingling decided to drop me. "YOU don't even believe in GOD!"
Wow that is a good reason, I am proud of the little flake.
THEN the dude from wilder got on my yahoo messenger and asked me to call him. I thought I had that guy blocked, I cannot afford to talk to him... he probably is out of groceries again and wants me to shop for him. It was very expensive last time and he never paid for the gas. Besides Gun Toting creeps make me nervous. I just blocked him after telling him I was working on school projects.
He hasn't talked to me for a month, so YOU know he wants me to run errands for him.
He chose to isolate himself not me. I cannot forget that he watched me grab what he thought was a hot electric wire without even warning me. He is just too creepy for words.
Well the other Yahoo that was asking me what I looked like etc, decided I was coming over to his house in Meridian for drinks. I told him I was NOT going over to a stranger's house to drink. I told him we could meet in the park with a bottle in the bag and blend in with the yokels. He did not seem to appreciate that, and I haven't heard from him since.
I am thinking this is what is best, Just scare everyone off, they all expect something for nothing. Last night on 20/20 the story of 8 beautiful texas women who were dating one man exclusivly. They did not know about the other women, they thought they were in a monogamous relationship. Some had been with him for four years. He gave them ALL AIDS! He had told them that he was checked periodically and was clean. He lied.
They were older women, and thought they didn't need condoms because they were in an exclusive relationship and could not become pregnant. THIS IS JUST A WARNING! when it comes to your body, Don't trust anyone.
I cried when I watched that show last night. They were all goodhearted intelligent women. HE Murdered them, he should go to prison for life.
When the police would not, Could not do anything they staked themselves outside of his house and warned all the women that came to visit him. However several more women contracted AIDS before he was sent to prison.
He knew all along that he had it.
I think that anyone who knowingly has AIDS and infects another human being should recieve the death penalty.
And the latest, Sombody named Mike Peavey popped up on my yahoo messenger. He was not a contact, I Don't even know how people do that He offered me a job flagging, then proceeded to ask me what I look like etc. He gave me an email address to send my resume' and a copy of my driver's license too. I am not sending my drivers license, but I thought it couldn't hurt to send a resume' to. EXCEPT it has my address and phone number on the resume' OH WELL... anyway it bounced back, so I emailed him at his peavy e-mail and he sent me the correct e-mail to apply for the job.
AND it sounds like a scam to me, yes it does. He said we should meet in Boise when he gets to town. AND... why should we I wonder?
BASTARDS.

And then....

I am so small

I must keep smiling so the universe can think of more perverse punishment for being naive
The government said they can give me 200 dollars a month if I qualify. Anyone ever hear someone say, "Well they are on welfare, that's why they can afford that new car."? I have heard that stuff before. You know what? It ain't the life of Riley, I said, give me a job, I don't want 200 bucks of month that I have to try and leap my tired ass through hoops of flame for.
Anyone thinks government help is a bowl of cherries can kiss my ass.
Then... I got notice from the brilliant university that I owe them five hundred dollars because I dropped a class. JEEEZ Louize!! I called them. they said, I had to pay that back. I do not have it obviously.
I know!! they can take my 260 dollar parking pass and apply that to the bill, I think that parking pass is stupid anyway, I have to walk a mile to class, that's why I am too sore to go to class again tonight.
SOMETHINGS gotta give here, I am weary of all the set backs.
I am not going to get my social work degree, I am not going to get a degree, if I even survive the winter it will be a miracle.
I need something good to happen.
SO I joined this online dating site. It's called Plenty of fish. I found it by accident, I was looking for "the Voice of Reason" a Reggae band I heard at "art in the park" in Boise on Saturday. Don't ask me how that ended up being a dating site, but it was. ANYWAY, I have been getting a lot of the guys that want "something" for nothing. MAN men can be such assholes. So this nice guy starts talking to me online, and I am thinking... he is nice and he isn't asking me about my ass size. So he says, "Can I call you?" and I said sure, so we talked for over an hour. he sang songs and talked about music, and it was lots of fun. I noticed he asked the same questions over a few times... that's ok I thought; we all do that... BUT he asked me four times if I had a dog... THEN he went ape shit! totally ape shit about me saying I hadn't talked to anyone online from plenty of fish yet... he said, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP LOOKING FOR OTHER MEN GO AHEAD!! he was getting really agitated. I hadn't said that, but what if I had? I mean an hour conversation is not a life long commitment is it?
ANYWAY he wrote me a very rude e-mail and I answered him back, that he misinterpreted what I had said, but ANYWAY I don't see why he was upset.
SO THEN... I get an apology letter and he wants to be friends... I haven't answered him back... MY spidey senses are tingling...
I Don't know what his diagnosis is, but I bet it's got a long name, and I BET he is medicated for it.
Sooo this is the next truly WEIRDO I have met... that's three. They are either horny men wanting a quick jump in the sack, or NUTS... what is this anyway? People need to wear warning labels.
AND NOW this other enlightened human being wants to know what size I am... why is he planning on fitting me into something? I Told him my ass is so freakin huge that when I sit in my car it nearly tips over, and SOO Freekin huge that it hits me in the back of the head when I run. That should scare his shallow self off.

12594

SOOO I know I am not cut out to be a prison guard. yeah I know I would make a better social worker, better dog groomer, better babysitter, this I know. I just wanted a job, and I wanted to pull out of this funk I am in. I feel like the un-popular girl in highschool and nobody wants to choose me for their fuckin side. GDAMMIT. Poverty R Us, and I am getting so sick of it, my optomism is down the tube.

More insult to injury

Dear Glena:

Thank you for your interest in employment opportunities with Idaho Department of Correction and for the time and effort given to our selection process.

We have reviewed your background and qualifications and find that we do not have an appropriate position for you at this time for the position of Correctional Officer. We appreciate your interest in Idaho Department of Correction and wish you success in your job search.

Please visit the State of Idaho website to view future job postings at www.dhr.idaho.gov. Please note that you must submit a separate application package for each open position.

Best wishes in your job search and continued success in your career.


Human Resources
Idaho Department of Correction

I hate you!

Dear anonymous health and welfare,

I have called your office every day since I received my interview letter. The first two days I received a call back and was told that the information I sent was not in the system yet.

After that I did not receive a call back after I called and left my phone number and a brief message. Yesterday August 31, I received a call back stating that the health and welfare computers were down and I must call back the next day.

TODAY I have school, I called as soon as I was out, Today I received my cancellation letter in the mail because I have not been compliant with the rules.

I have been compliant, it is not my fault that your offices are overworked. It is not my fault that I have not been given an interview for food stamps, I sent all the information in two days after I received the re-certification notice. Which I might note have been coming closer and closer together. I am still a starving student trying to feed my twelve year old son, and I am still un-employed, not something that I want to be. I have sent out applications everywhere and have not found a job. You can be certain that when I do find a job I will alert your office immediately because I am too old and fat to jump through the numerous hoops that the H and W offices try to get me to jump through.

Kindly yours

Glena Dusky

Remember the time?

My daughter was in the fifth grade and was struggling to learn how to tell time. I have learning disabilities and was thinking I wasn’t the best person to teach her. At a teachers conference I mentioned to her teacher, Mr. Coe that Janelle was struggling with learning how to tell time, He smiled sweetly and said he would be happy to help her. I was very pleased, but not later on when I found out what his methods of teaching were. My daughter was awkward and very shy, we had moved from Seattle to Idaho, and the clothing styles were very different, and my daughter was already the scape goat of cruel jokes. I mistakenly thought that having the teacher on her side would boost her self esteem.
My daughter came home one day with tears streaking her face, I asked her what was wrong, and she said if she told me, I would probably tell Mr. Coe her teacher and he would make her life even worse.
It turns out that Mr. Coe’s teaching method consisted of making Janelle stand up and tell the class what time it was. Of course she couldn’t tell time, so he would make her stand out in the hall for hours and ask everyone that came up the stairs what time it was. This went beyond humiliation. I could not understand why someone entrusted in teaching children would be so stupid. I went to the principle of the school and he said that Mr. Coe had been a good teacher for many years and had the support of parents and other teachers and it was just my word against his. I was afraid that my child’s life was going to be even worse now that I had “told” on Mr. Coe. I did inadvertently solve the problem in my own spontaneous way. I really hate to admit that I did this, but here goes… After leaving the principles office feeling as down trodden as my little girl, I saw Mr. Coe walking to his car. There was happiness in each step and he seemed on top of the world, whistling a happy tune. SO I attempted to run over him with my little car. He jumped out of the way, and I hollered out the window that next time I wouldn’t miss. Actually I don’t think I intended on hitting him, I just wanted him to know the extent of my feelings. Oddly he never reported me, and my daughter was left alone after that incident.
My daughter is now thirty years old and a Neo-natal Nurse at St. Luke’s, Mr. Coe is in a drunk tank somewhere in Idaho. HA! Mother prevails
I am not really sure how this applies to Zonal Perspective, my feelings were very complex, Shock, Dismay, Betrayal. But I never tattled on Janelle to the teacher in order for her to be punished, I wanted her to receive help that I as unable to give her. She is very bright, and I didn’t want her held back because I was unable to teach her how to tell time.
The book Zonal Perspective states; that personality traits remain stable; this means I think that I am still basically the same person who attempted to run over a bad teacher. I go the correct route when faced with a dilemma, then if things don’t happen the way I think they are supposed to I have a temper tantrum. I have an over inflated view of right and wrong and what is fair, I know this about me, but I hope that I am more civilized then the young mother who showed her displeasure to the fifth grade teacher, who should not been allowed to train a bunch of poodles let alone precious children.
I am a social work major; I think sometimes because of my personality that I should give up going to school. My personality from early childhood has always been overly honest to a fault, a fighter for truth and justice, ( I should have a red cape) I don’t always think the rules apply to me, but I actually like rules because following rules makes it fair for everyone most of the time.
Knowing that personality is constant from childhood has filled me with hope and apprehension at the same time, I am DOOMED! Even recently when I was registering my twelve year old for the sixth grade he said, “Please Mom, I don’t want to be known as the kid whose mother threw a temper tantrum at the principle on the first day of school.” I was ticked because they sent me a letter with my name and address on it, and asked me to prove that I lived there in order to register my kid into school. We live in the same place we had lived for the past four years and now they want proof? Who thinks of this stuff? But I digress.

12320 Today!

Today I am going to feel positive.
Today I am going to do something about my school work.
Today I am going to expect good things to happen.

THE big WHINE

SOOO I thought I was perfectly clear to greggypoo. He called me the other night and started saying things like, "Sorry I pissed you off" I said, you didn't piss me off. Then he started talking about my email and how it had said all kinds of stuff. WHICH it didn't. I told him, he better re-read the email, it was a very nice email explaining that I didn't have time for a relationship (AS IF!!) and he needed to look somewhere else. He interrupted me and said, "Sorry I pissed you off" I re-iterated what I was trying to say, and told him I was overwhelmed by school and needed to hit the books. He asked me if he should come over?
WTF?? I said, NOOOOO....
Under Stupid in the dictionary we would find the name, GREG.
He proceeded to talk about his wife again, I said he needed to quit being a drama queen, and take his lawyer's advice, and quit boring everybody with the horror stories.
I think I am VERY clear. Then on face book he went on and on (under notes) about how he loves his wife and they should stop the divorce and she is hurting him etc... the whole thing is misspelled and sounds stupid as hell. I was going to tell him to MAN up. IF he is so interested in keeping his wife, WHY the hell is he on all the online dating sights calling himself, "Lets Cuddle" GAWD... He better not call me again, I am not going to be so nice.
He doesn't get anything straight that I tell him anyway.
I cannot believe how diplomatic I have been, when I don't give a shit. Practice for social work I suppose.
ANYWAY, this is now a NO whiner zone. Bitching is appreciated but NO WIMPY WHINY LITTLE MEN WITH LITTLE DICKS are allowed in here.

Risky Behaviour

Where do I begin? ok, got rid of Greg, and I didn't mean all the nice phrasing I used so that you would NEVER call me again. Truly, you are needy selfish self involved stupid and.... paranoid, you really need to get into a half way house before you consider dating, and... YOU are not even divorced, how dare you inflict your baggage on unsuspecting women? and... you don't even try to keep appointments, or your word, I cannot imagine being interested in someone as flighty as you.
NOW, the other one. GAWD!!! you asked me to come out and see you in Wilder. I said I would, I needed a day out of Nampa, one where people would quit asking me for favors... SO you call and you ask me to bring you a hamburger and milkshake on the way, OK, I said... then you call back and want it without pickles and onions and you want a CHERRY shake... ok... THEN you call and want me to go to Lowes and pick up some specialty light bulbs for you... THEN you call me while I am still reeling from getting the hamburger and thinking, how much I hate shopping and ask me to go to Walmart then winco to pick up grocerys.. you have a list. YOU asked me to bring my hydrogen peroxide to bathe two skunk sprayed dogs... the list is getting longer, Daine said, "lets just count our losses, take the burgers and go MOM">.. ooooh How I wished I had listened.
I said, no I wasn't going to do your shopping.I picked up the fucking light bulbs. BUT it ended up I drove you all the way back to Nampa, so you could do your shopping, and I bathed your two stinking dogs, and you wanted me to stay and shampoo your carpets too. DO YOU KNOW WHAT? I am totally flabbergasted, and I did not like your explanation of all the AK747's Automatic Rifles, sub machine guns, and how you could pick a neighbor off a mile away... YEAH I Think that this friendship is terminated before it began. I suppose I will tell you in a flowery way how I am NOT your type, I Don't want you to show up here with one of your machine guns.. JEEEZUS.
I used a 1/4 tank of gas and put over a hundred miles on my old car.AND While I was dropping Daine off at the apartment, you helped yourself to my bottle of enzyme cleaner. YOU SUCK!
AND why to you have 8 vehicles and none of them run? What are you some kind of psychopath?
OH and another thing while I am thinking about it, you watched me grab an electric wire. I asked you why??? you said you didn't know if it was hot or not!! YOU WATCHED ME GRAB IT, WTF?!! were you waiting to see me electricuted. YOU need to be on medication dude!

HE didn't

That night when I took my shower I found the tiny pill in my bra.
I hope I Never find out what happens if he gets a hold of a pill. He is such a baby, I have to watch him constantly. He is three years old now, he should have outgrown some of this.
Every morning I wake Daine up with a different description of his dog. Yesterday it was "Daine wake up, the alligator needs to go out." ( I go out with him, its our exercise regime) This morning it was, "Daine wake up! the french fried sea biscuit needs to go out."
Sherman rang the bell to go out late into the night. I told him after nine he had to put a cork in it. I had a surprise this morning on the carpet. When a person walks this silly dog five times before bed you think he would be finished!
Apparently he meant it when he rang the bell. Sometimes I Think its emotional black mail and he just wants to go out and sniff everything.

Welbutrin

Sherman had a welbutrin today. I dropped it when I was loading my little pill holder. The pills are so tiny, SOOO tiny that I can barely hold them in my large size hands.
I wasn't sure he had eaten it, I had dropped it. I got down on the floor as much as this hurts me, and looked for it eye level. I couldn't find it, I thought maybe I had dropped it in the sink, they desolve fast in water. I HOPED.
a few moments later I heard Sherman throwing up. I ran into the bedroom to check on him. It was just stomach bile, so it looked, but it occurred to me that it was probably the pill and he would probably be fine. I looked it up online, all I could find is that a welbutrin pill wont hurt a dog, I don't see how that could be as they could hurt a human.
He hasn't seemed any different to me. IF I had any money I would have run him to the vet, but our vets wont see a dog without cash in hand. I guess I don't blame them, but if I ever have an emergency, my dog is dead and I dread that. I love my dog, why should only the wealthy be able to have pets? DAMMIT.
I am hoping that there will be no life threatening effects later. He is eating and drinking like normal. I know I worry, but I don't want to lose him.

12202 We are lazy

My generation has loved and lost. Now we just want to play without emotional consequences. We learned somewhere along the way that relationships take work, and we don't like work. As retirement looms ahead, we find we don't have anyone permanent to share those alone times with. I call this the aloof years. I never chase men, but if I don't make a really big effort, they don't even attempt to engage me in conversation. The only time the old duffers really perk up is if someone too young for them walks by. JEEZ talk about fantasy world.
Here I am, fifty something and fluffy. I am becoming odd in my aloneness, set in my ways expectant of honesty and dependability. I have no idea if I will ever find it. I see myself, living alone with my cats and old movies on VHS. Maybe a scotch and coke once in awhile, but I will never go out, because I am night blind, have no sense of direction and am easily tired. FREEK I don't like the looks of this, I have to think of a better life for me in my old age.

its raining!

I get to wear my rain boots today. I started out with my pink reef flip flops, and after wet feet have decided to switch to the pink plaid rain boots.
I had a date last night, he made me what he calls spring rolls. Tapioca/rice wraps with shrimp,bean sprouts,green onion, bean threads,and hoisin sauce. OH my goodness I ate four of them. I brought Sherman with me, I always like to go on a date with Sherman. R L has two white poodles, and Sherman was very well behaved, he made me proud.
The company was grand, I really enjoyed myself, I left around 8 pm with two beers on. I was thinking as little as I drink this could be a problem, but I made it home safely and walked Sherman to the park. R L was so nice, I enjoyed the evening immensely.
R L takes a glass and puts a little sea salt and lime in the bottom, follow with ice, and a corona beer, follow that with sea salt and lime. It was very refreshing, I will make them like that for myself, the next time I can afford beer that is.
I paid attention to how to make the spring rolls too, but he said he has to drive to some far away place to buy those tapioca rice wraps. I have eaten them from the deli at freddys so I am sure someone nearby sells them. Probably an oriental market in Boise. I will find out for sure.

Oh how I wish it would rain

I like the lightly overcast day, and the coolness of the morning. I wish it would rain, its been hot and dry.
I have been having terrible body aches, I can get up in the morning and limp to the park with Sherman towing me. the rest of the day gets worse. I am seeing my doctor next week. I wondered if I had west Nile? I got a lot of mosquito bites when I was working at the county fair as a security guard. Or is it my thyroid? OR is it my fibromyalgia?
I have lost weight, though yesterday I ate half a bag of potato chips and they are the worst I have ever eaten. Today I will be better, something about being accountable for what I eat makes me want to snack, go figure. Spark People .com has a calorie calculator, I just enter what food I have eaten and it figures it all out. What I am eating too much of, what I need more of, and how many calories my fat ass should consume in a day. It reprimanded me about the chips. I thought it was funny. Its not something I do all the time, but when I do, I am very bad. I need some balance in my life starting today.

Isn't that the way? everybody's got their dues in life to pay.

Nobody loves you when you are down and out. Gyco won't hold my car insurance policy one more week... SHEESH I have been with them five years, this is the first time I couldn't pay the premium. It isn't very much money either, just a few dollars, and I don't have anything. 1/4 tank of gas, dish washer soap is out, TP is low, and its going to get very dark before the dawn.
No word from the feral cat, he never came for his things. I feel very good about this decision, not to mention the obvious fact that I have not missed him. I would have missed a man that had tried. I would have missed a man that had put a little effort into a relationship, He hasn't. WE know he hasn't and we have analyzed till we are blue in the face, and all I can drum up for him is pity. fuckinco-dependant-dramaloving-messedupscrewhead. The silly cocker has more common sense then andyroo.
I wake up at seven AM and have the morning to myself, my boy is asleep. Before he wakes its peaceful. When Dain is up, there is constant need for conversation, and he will talk my head off with information and science that I am not quite mentally prepared for. I love him to pieces but the quiet is good.
He got a small job poop scooping. Its ten dollars a week. He wanted to save for a play station three (can you imagine?) His friend Joe was having a birthday, Dain took his money and bought a gift for his friend. I felt sad inside, because I know that joe has everything he could ever want and my son does without, is this charactor building? I gotta know, because my kid has to work so hard for everything. I know that Dain does not feel sad, but I do, I wanted to give him so much more in this life, but perhaps I have given him the understanding that everything is precious?

L D my sis in law twice removed

I had a interesting enjoyable experience. You know we are connecting with people from our past on Face Book.
E was a kid I went through school with, he was my friend and always funny. He told me a few weeks ago, that I was an inspiration to him all these thirty years. He said, that I wasn't like everyone else, and I always stood up for what I believed in, he said he used that throughout his whole life when he was faced with a difficult stand to make, he just thought of Glena Dusky.
I was speechless and it made me feel so good. He dropped by yesterday on his way back to pierce and we laughed and talked for a few hours.
When E left I realized how important it is to tell someone if they have been a life long inspiration to you.
I just wanted to tell you that I feel that way about you. You always stood up for what was right, and you always supported me when I felt bad about myself. You are an angel from heaven, and if no one has told you that lately, I am telling you,
You are my inspiration Linda, thank you for everything.

JEEZ LOUIZE

Will the whining ever stop?
Cousin reached out to me yesterday via email. I used to love her dearly, I used to care about her, then she started treating me like crap. I am not sure that I can talk to her again, She said she had tried to call me but my number was disconnected.
Yeah, well she hasn't tried to call me in five years, why now?
She must be bored and wants to hear my latest ratty saga to fill her inner emptiness with joy.
She is like that, she gets joy from other's sorrow.
I am going to walk the dog, and think about talking to her, it was not me that broke the ties between us, it was her. That side of the family is like that. I don't like them much.

12099

It is Wednesday. This is not me, she who waits is back, I Prefer not to be "she who waits"
I want to be she who does.
Nothing coming in, no prospects. I even quit applying for all the state jobs, I am under qualified. I think I made about 240.00 for two days work at the fair as a security guard. Unfortunately I will see that around the time I get my college money. Two hundred dollars right now would go a long way.
Today I am grateful that I still have Internet and a cell phone. In three weeks I am getting a new phone new service and telling Andyroo it is time for him to get the power out of my name. No more connection, no more thought in his direction. He is a very sad un-disciplined,person of little moral character. I tried to look the other way, I tried to say it was ME being judgemental. However if you break your word with me too many times, I move on. A man is only as good as his word, and Andy doesn't keep his.
Sad person.

Never quite what I dream

I was hoping for a permanent weekend job. The other employees filled me in. They said I will be lucky if I get more work by football season. This was just a flash in the pan. I get paid next month for fifteen hours of work. This will be nice, but I really need money now. sigh...
The powers that be are laughing at me again, I keep getting optimistic.
I had a terrible time finding my way home last night. I was afraid this might happen, but I set bravely out with the map in hand, and still ended up going the wrong way. When I turned around I wasn't sure which direction I was supposed to be going, East? West? I did not know, but soon the landscape became familiar and I knew I was going the right way, a 20 minute drive took me nearly and hour.
Last night at the fair, a transformer blew up causing a power outage at the fair, the prison's power to go out and for some reason at that very same time I pedestrian was hit by a car. Ambulances, firetrucks and Emt's were everywhere, it was hard to tell what was going on, they got the power on in little more then an hour, but some fair customers were angry because many things were shut down and they paid a lot of money to get in.

Waiting and anticipating

Well I gave her two days, and I called. I got the job, saturday and sunday...
Security watching the gate at the county fair.
I am SOOO grateful.

Failure to communicate, secrecy, dishonesty....

The card at the top right represents how you see your partner. Falco (The Hermit), when reversed: Detachment based on fear, irresponsibility or naiveté. Self-imposed isolation from friends and loved ones. Listening to the wrong advice or ignoring good counsel. Concealment, disguise, and unreasoned caution.

12012

Boy those grand kids can sure leave a trace of where they have been in such a short time.
I forgot how much I liked the movies 'Ice age' and 'Little Bears great adventure' Now I want to watch the 'Emperors new groove' I especially like musical cartoons, baby Ruby gets her groove on. Its very funny.
Daine left with them when they left.... sigh... I will be glad when its him and me again. Miss the little blighter.

Och!

Glena,

Och Lass! Methinks mayhap a spell has been cast that ye no ken who ye be!!!!
Hence, I am duty and honor bound to remind ye!
YE BE SCATHATCH! YE BE A WARRIOR !
Me thinks that slow times have mad ye daft to be feeling sorry fer yeself!
A warrior needs challenges to survive Lassie!! Tis why life deals ye such! Do ye wish to just whittle away to naught as an ol' hag or do ye wish to meet your Lord with pride in the skills he's given ya?
I will hear no more of sobbing and ranting fer yerself Lass. Leave off yer arse and fight!
Mayhaps the man Andy kens he's not man enough for such a woman as ye. He has put his tail betwixt his legs and run as the coward he is!. Good riddence I say!
Ye need a man that meets yer passions not only in the bed, but in life! Tis fine to dally with such cowards as ye seek til ye find that which ye deserve. But mind ya, do not confuse the two together Lass.
Ye heeded the words of a soothsayer once and have let the words lead yer life hence forth.Leave off with these thoughts and live!
Ye will know yer warrior. He will challenge every breadth of your being. And he willna run from ya Lass, no matter how ye challenge him back.
Ye warrior will be looking for that which also matches his passions and desires. Think ye he sees that when he looks upon ye now? Nay, he will see a weak whinning Lass not to his liking. Think he will find ye huddled away in yer domain?
Be yer true self Lass, and that which you seek, shall also find that which he seeks also.
With all me Love and faith in ye Lass,
Cindy

11987

There is a way to speed up the demise of a relationship that you are not sure of. Introduce him to your family. It is not your family that causes the relationship to end it is the certainty of longevity. Most dead weights cannot stand the idea of tomorrow; day after day.
So they hop the next train to singles-ville without so much of a backwards glance.
Now you know.

there are many here among us that think that life is but a joke

Must be the forces that exist in this world know that I am here.
Yesterday after making my muscles very sore moving furniture around in my room. I discovered I was pretty hungry. Probably about nine hours since breakfast. Its HOT outside, and bout ninety degrees in here, I didn't feel like cooking, but I remembered the container of cottage cheese in the fridge. I ate it, I wasn't interested in creating a culinary delight, just taking the edge off my hunger. Man I was hot, so I laid down on the couch, feeling kinda crappy, waiting for the Gut Bomb to hit me,(Lactose intolerance) that I sometimes forget, sometimes ignore, sometimes cannot ignore...
And the cell phone rings, I answer it because I don't recognise the number. It is Sue, her foot is infected and could I drive her to immediate care? yeah, I wasn't doing anything too exciting just laying on the couch waiting. I pick her up and take her to the docs, the docs verdict is a bit grim and she needs to be on antibiotics immediately. She asked me if it was ok if we drove to Freddies for antibiotics, I said, CERTAINLY< I wouldn't have it any other way, and its really no trouble. She handed me five bucks for gas, which I normally would have turned down, but I haven't put gas in the car for two months, and its nearly on empty, and it doesn't look after four days that Androo, alias asshair is ever coming back.
We have to wait for the medication to be filled, so I ask her if she would mind if I picked up my groceries? I know how fast I can do that, even though I don't know freddies very well, but I got everything in twenty minutes, even after trying to find potatoes three different times... We pick up the meds and I take her home.
I am still thinking about how hot it is, and I am thinking that I will have steamed brown rice with chopped bok choi and some pea pods for dinner. I bought some Tahinni, so I can make Hummus if I am so inclined... and I thinking what a gourmet I am. I put the soy milk in the fridge and see that the cow milk has gone past date. (Daine has't been home in a few weeks to drink it on his cereal) SO I pour the milk down the sink, and it doesn't go. both sides of the sink fill up with milk and just sit there. I glance at the clock, 7 PM< so I know the apartment office is closed, this fiasco doesn't look like it can wait till Monday. I call the dispatch and the gentleman told me in a very disinterested voice that someone would be over shortly. So I walked Mr. Bell Ringer, he said he had wanted a walk for hours and where the hell was I, and how dare I leave the precious puppy home alone..? So I walked him and he had to sniff every bush and tree along the way, and he didn't go number 2 meaning he was saving up for later so I could walk him again, emotional black mail!
The apartment Maintenance man showed up fresh from the bar with his best pool partner. He was gracious enough about being interrupted in one of the best games he had played in weeks. Now the games really began. Fifty feet of snake wouldn't unclog my sink, he was telling me that it might have to wait till Monday, and I was mentally kissing my steamed rice dinner goodbye.
THEN there was a loud "GLURG" and sloooosh and everything happened at once, Spaghetti now decorated the walls of the laundry room, it was everywhere. WE now know that we do not run leftover spaghetti down the garbage disposal... HE RELUCTANTLY (right) left me with the mess and went back to the bar to play pool with his buddy. I looked at the mess with dismay, Sherman wanted to help clean it up, even the three cats were curious about the Glurg and Sloosh noise. I was sore, sweaty hot and really feeling resentful about spaghetti at that moment. An hour later I had it cleaned up, but it was pushing nine o clock PM and I was't in the mood for cooking dinner, and I needed a shower, so I proceeded down the hall to the bathroom... weird noise coming from the bathroom. I opened the door and the toliet was running over from the tank. The whole bathroom was flooded and I had no idea how to stop it. Did the snaking out of the lines cause the hose to pop off the toilet? Did the maintance man cause this when he flushed down some of the spaghetti? I pulled off the tank lid and discovered the hose was spraying straight in the air, kind a cool really. I mopped and mopped and got that mess cleaned up, threw the towels and bath rug in the wash, and I had my luke warm shower trying to wash off the nasty day.
After I was in my faded worn out uglier than sin jammies, Sherman started ringing the bell on the front door frantically. (ASS) I walked him around the back of my apartment, which is on a busy road, and I bet the picture I presented will bring lasting memory to a few people. Fat old grammie walking sleak black cocker in her jammies. He still wouldn't go, and I mentioned stapleing his butt shut if he pooed on the carpet during the night. I took a pill and went to bed.

There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief

I rearranged my bedroom. Always a nice change. Several times I got stuck behind the iron canopy bed. I am not a good planner, I start stacking and pushing furniture. Just like my life, POOR planning.
I broke the head on "the sweetest flower" a china headed baby rat that I have had for a million years. Someday when I have money coming in I will have to see if I can find another head.
I bought her in Seattle when Chelsie was three. I am certain they are not made anymore.
If I cannot find a baby rat head, (which sounds thoroughly disgusting) I will find a baby doll head and replace the broken rat head.
suddenly not attached to it anymore. Perhaps its because I am numb over asshair leaving without a word?

No reason to get excited the theif, he kindly spoke.

I think its odd that he can be gone 3 days and it is like he was never here.
I sleep alone, I pile blankets up by the front door, and I clean up the puke fest from the cats this morning. I walk the dog, I fry and egg, I have a cup of tea, and it is the same.
Only the folded pile of men's clothes in the basket. Should put them by the front door in case he slips in while I am gone.
ODD ODD ODD ODD
and the only thing is I am at peace and happy.
I have quit thinking that I am wrong. Wrong to dislike all the users in his life. Thieves, crack heads, liars, users... useless people that I have no time for, I don't have to put up with them anymore. Gawd. I am glad I am alone again.
All that's left is waiting for the final talk.

11912

Phantom James was missing all day. So long in fact that I finally did an in house search. I was wondering if he had slipped out when asshair had left for the day.
I finally found his large fluffy body hidden in my closet. Not careing that he had knocked several blouses that I praise on the closet floor and slept on them with his fine white hair everywhere. Someday I will clean the closet.

I don't care, what you do, I wouldn't want to be like you!

Well you know it's done when you don't care anymore.You know when your standards are not the approved standards of the home.
When HE does what he pleases, breaks promises and comes home long after he promised to.
It is over all that's left is to find the reason why, it's over and I still can't say goodbye... goodbye...

Stench

The stench of cooked cabbage every time someone opened the refrigerator proved too much. Even though the dinner got rave reviews, I knew I wasn't going to eat it again, so I put it down the garbage disposal. Then I boiled ground cinnamon and cloves with orange oil and dispelled the horrible aroma. I mean! Every time someone opened the fridge it smelled like a giant fart in here.
I will not have learned my lesson; I will attempt something vile again, but in the mean time I Think sautéed chicken with some new potatoes is for dinner tonight.

BLECK

YOU MADE IT< YOU EAT IT
Normally my experiments are not vile.
However this one... What am I going to do with the leftovers?
Take 2 pounds of hamburger, fry.. add one onion, one cabbage (chopped of course) and one red pepper.
Cook the whole mass, then add garlic, soy sauce, and a teaspoon of cornstarch.. it turns out YUCk.
OOOH and serve over soggy over cooked white rice.
The best part of this experiment is the "apparently unaware of how rude they are" new neighbors get to smell cooked cabbage all day. As I have smelled their stinky cigarettes, and listened to their conversations conducted over the balcony and directly under my living room window. PLUS they sound like a herd of wild Buffalo up there, dammit.
CAUSE for moving.

My life according to the Shins (facebook)

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. addicting...

Pick Your Artist: The Shins

Are you male or female: Girl on the wing

Describe yourself: Weird Divide

How do you feel about yourself: Mine's not a high horse

Describe where you currently live: Australia

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Gone for good

Your favorite form of transportation: Sea Legs

Your best friend is: Saint Simon

Your favorite color is: Pink Bullets

What's the weather like: Black Wave

Favorite time of day: A Comet Appears

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called: Sleeping Lessons

What is life to you: Spilt Needles

What is the best advice you have to give: Those to Come

If you could change your name, what would it be: Pam Berry

Your favorite food is: Phantom Limb (snort)

Thought for the Day: Kissing the Lipless

How I would like to die: Pressed in a Book

My soul's present condition: One by one all day

The faults I can bear: Caring is creepy

My motto: Know your onion!

STUPID COW

Unemployment is sure highlighting the assholes in this world. I have had more scams offered to me.
I wrote Miss Lucy, and told her that I had alerted the police about her little scam.
THOUGH Naive as I am I believe its probably a BOT and no one will receive my little diatribe.PISS ME OFF.

WOW!! LOOK at this, to think she will send me the money

--- On Tue, 5/19/09, Lucy Roark wrote:


From: Lucy Roark
Subject: Typist / Data Entry Post .
To:
Date: Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 1:49 PM


Typist / Data Entry Post .

How are you doing , My Name is Mrs.Lucy Roark and I want to Introduce my job to you as a Certified Payroll Specialist (CPS).

I work for some companies on their payroll activities. I use to encounter alot of difficulty when going about my daily run around. I want a trust worthy person as my data entry / typist Assistant from home , If you have a computer experience with a computer connected with internet at home who want to work on flexible hours on part time basis and earn extra income, My Brother used to help me with all activities but he is back to school ,so am all alone and will like to know if you will be trustworthy enough to entrust mine and my clients company's vital informations and signatory with you, Be sure to earn $1,500 monthly salary for a start and on level of you activity i would increase the pay. please get back to me today to know your interest .

**** For you to start the job you would need the following items :
* VersaCheck Gold 2008 software. It will come with 150 blank checks
* VersaInk Nano' 4X Life MICR Ink - 94MX Black
* Versajette M400 Print, Copy, Scan Inkjet Printer

All this cost $400usd But don't worry about the funds because i will be providing that if you don't have the materials.i will send you money to purchase all the materials needed to start the job .You should email me back as soon as possible and I will let you know when to start working from the comfort of your home at the most convenient time for you (you will only be working 1 to 2 hours - 3times weekly).

Note: If you don't have the materials , I will send you the money needed to buy the items,
Best Wishes.
Mrs.Lucy.

Will I get a job this week?

The card not shown but at the center of the cross, represents the atmosphere surrounding the central issue. Three of Pentacles (Works), when reversed: Delays in the commencement of business, commercial transactions, or employment. Holding back or failing to use one's abilities to their full potential. Shoddy workmanship and lack of attention to detail. Being hamstrung by convention, or failing to temper artistic fancy with an understanding of reality.
The card visible at the center of the cross represents the obstacle that stands in your way - it may even be something that sounds good but is not actually to your benefit. Queen of Cups, when reversed: The dark essence of water, such as a deep and foreboding lake: Discomfort with the worlds of mind and matter, leading to a retreat to the spiritual. The embrace of negative relationships, driven by the desperate fear of being alone. Devotion to fantasies and daydreams, to the exclusion of practical skills or the pursuit of knowledge. Insecurity leading to dishonor, vice, and undue susceptibility to outside influences.
The card at the top of the cross represents your goal, or the best you can achieve without a dramatic change of priorities. Two of Swords (Peace): Contradictory characteristics brought together as a means of resolving a conflict. Refusing to be ruled by negative emotions. Strife brought to a close through clarity of mind and restraint of force. Turning a blind eye to the minor infractions of others.
The card at the bottom of the cross represents the foundation on which the situation is based. Three of Wands (Virtue): Personal fortitude and strength of character. Accumulated power set in motion towards a distant goal. The initiation of an enduring partnership based on absolute trust. Honor maintained in a time of desperate struggle. Taking full responsibility for a decision, and bearing the solitude of leadership.
The card at the left of the cross represents a passing influence or something to be released. Four of Pentacles (Power), when reversed: Using your power freely for your own enjoyment and the betterment of others. Coming to grips with progress and using your position to help it along. Finding security and identity someplace other than in the possession of material things. Letting go and encouraging others to find their own path. Being magnanimous and generous with your success.
The card at the right of the cross represents an approaching influence or something to be embraced. Justice, when reversed: Lack of balance, harmony and integrity. The suspension of action until a decision is made. Lawsuits and prosecutions. Unjust decisions and the consequences of those decisions. A turn for the worse in legal matters.
The card at the base of the staff represents your role or attitude. The Magician: Mastery over word, mind, and matter. The ability to turn ideas into actions, handle problems, and control one's life. The initiation of new projects, great works, or a new way of life. Eloquent and moving communication. Arcane and eldritch technologies.
The card second from the bottom of the staff represents your environment and the people you are interacting with. Ace of Cups, when reversed: The seed of a destructive relationship or spiritual collapse. A missed opportunity for joy, contentment, fertility, or enlightenment. Failing to understand the emotional needs of those around you. May represent an unexpected message, a chance meeting, or the start of a friendship or romance.
The card second from the top of the staff represents your hopes, fears, or an unexpected element that will come into play. Four of Swords (Truce): A time of tranquility and intellectual repose in the midst of a great struggle. A temporary retreat from stress to regather inner strength, reaffirm convictions, reorganize thoughts, and formulate a new plan. The need for vigilance in a moment of calm. May suggest a withdrawal from the material world to find spiritual guidance.
The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. The Tower: Unforeseen catastrophe. An abrupt change, perhaps leading to a new lifestyle and enlightenment. May indicate a broken relationship, divorce, or failure in business or career.



Copyright 1993-2009 Facade. All rights reserved. Copying any image or other content on Facade is strictly prohibited. The services of Facade are provided for entertainment purposes only. Please view our Privacy Policy and our Terms and Conditions of Use. Images from The Phoenix Tarot are copyright 2003 Paola Angelotti. All rights reserved. Hosting by Entertainment Earth.

11603

All I do is look for work, I have applied for over thirty jobs. It's an employer market right now, and they are showing what type of assholes they really are.
YOU think, it would be courteous to send a note saying, "We have hired another candidate, thank you for your interest in our company." YOU think... I remember when good manners were expected of employers as well as employees. I am so amazed at whats turning up in the job market...$6.50 an hour for a busy receptionist, 10 dollars for a social work degree? If the economy turns and I Think it will, these same employers will be talking a new line... STUPID RUDE< I am amazed.

11584

No results on my final grades yet.
I have a bad feeling anyway. Mental health issues and school don't mix, do they?
I was wondering when this friendship became about you and me, and left being about us?
You are off again, leaving for days at a time, not bothering to call. I know I need to let it all go, we have nothing. I Thought we could build. but there never was any attraction, nor deep rooted respect. I don't like how you deal with things, and I don't like how you act and I mostly don't like the worthless pieces of shit that you cling to.
Cling ons, all of them, looking for an angle or another drug. Useless wastes of air.
I vowed that I would not waste my time on people like that, but you! You wallow in the mud and shit with them, you allow them to bring you down to your level. You think you are lifting them up, you are wrong, they bring you down, and you want them to touch my life? NO I don't think so.
I have made my best effort to take care of you, but you are still a feral cat, and you cannot give back love. You do not love me, or anyone as far as I can tell. I welcome the day when we are finally through. For good, no looking back, I won't look into your soggy blue eyes and feel pity anymore. I have given you my best, you have barely given me anything at all.
It was so hard for you to act civilized and come home at reasonable times, and not keep secret conversations with your ex. GAWD Andyroo, you don't know a good thing when you have it.
I am opinionated as you say, but I am right.
Adios MF your on your own.

11466

THE Final Countdown... (sang in a loud whiny nasal voice)"The Final Countdown" is a rock song written by Joey Tempest for the Swedish rock band Europe.
Pretty obvious why they are off the map so to speak.
ANYWAY I digress, I got two more tests.. three. And I just hope for the best, then I am really going to look hard for work. I have most of the rent for May. But I won't have bill money, ya know? I don't think the forces of goodness are on my side much. The difference is I don't care and I don't cry "UNFAIR" cuz it is unfair, but I don't care.
Andy is looking for a motorhome. Old affordable and clean. We have till august, I will not sign another 6 month lease here, we will move out and put everything in storage, thats the way it is. Three cats, one dog and one kid in a motor home is going to be unpleasant, but I am not going to be in debt for rent, the end.

Port of dispair

Grounded again. Jobless, this is such a example of never letting your guard down.
The boring details later.
AR remains optimistic, I am irritated.
Just remember, right around the corner from Nazarene College, schools, churches and local shopping area's live a dozen dangerous inmates that the prison can no longer afford to keep.
They are allowed to come and go pretty much as they please. I never knew abut them, I don't think most of the communtiy knows.
Beware.

11409

Just a ruin.
Sometimes AR surprises me. I give up hope on feral cats too soon.
Since I have met him I have been aware of the most INHERENTLY evil people ever. They attract to AR like bugs to a light. He would do well to get rid of them. I told him a few days go, one of the check lists that might be helpful to you is:
1)Have they ever done an ounce of good for anyone in their lives?
2)Do they have ANY redeeming qualities?
3)will anything that you do for them, NOT backfire and make you regret helping them?
4)Do you add any enlightenment to their lives?
5)What good comes out of any transaction with them?
EVIL begets EVIL, and like a stack of dominoes, their bad decisions seem to topple us over as well.
I WISH he would get a backbone and get rid of these cling on people!
Eventually I will have enough of this shit and I will leave him to them, and they will consume him, because they are not good people.
He does not take into consideration those who give without ulterior motive. He does treat all people the same, bad and good, interesting perspective he has.

11398

And TAA DAA! it is Thursday Night, or actually very early Friday Morning, looks like we survived the week, and I still did not donate my time to the boys and girls club, Must get this done, I am running out of time, May is around the corner.
Pay check was puny.... sigh. 389.00 what the heck am I supposed to do with that?
Several versions of the murdered inmate. I have had nightmares about work. Anything can happen, and as Alan reminds me, it has always been this way, we are just more aware of it after a dark tragedy.
THEY walk among us.

Smoke!!

Well crap, someone caught a pancake on fire in the microwave. We had to evacuate and stand outside in the cold wind and wait for the fire fighters. I am amazed to say that the Nampa Police Force do not answer their freekin phone. I was supposed to alert them that the fourteen inmates standing outside were not committing mutiny and I was not under a hostile take over. I did drag out the smoking garbage can when we evacuated the building, I should have brought marshmallows, we could have roasted them over the smoldering fire while waiting.
My hair smells like smoke.
My bright hot orange Reebok's brought many interested comments from the inmates. I suppose a woman who would wear pink shirt and belt with hot orange Reebok's is cause for concern.

Thousand Mile Wish by Finger Eleven

(I think I posted this song before but it's worth repeating)
Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I’ve been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all these holes my love,
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night

So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
Just stay until we know we tried one more time

Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they’ll go on and they won’t let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?

Can it stay until we know ourselves?
I’m torn as I tell
You’re the story that I know and fell from
I’m so far into your story I don’t know why
We think we’re in control
When we lie between the lines

We’ll find a line to follow
It’s got to show real soon
Or we’ll never reach this high

We climb a little further
Cause there’s nothing we can’t get around together
Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around

So we stay until the ground
That we can’t come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night

Darkness of the mind

Graveyard isn't a good shift to analyze one's life. I am like a frozen computer, expectant,optimistic, but still waiting. Waiting on what? I keep thinking about what my oldest said, "there is no such thing as waiting for your real life to kick in, this is your life and you are living it now." Yeah, "she who waits" gets pretty old sometimes. All the time I think. I do not know what I want to do anymore. I dream too much, I think too much I lament too much.
Still plugging away at school and my choices are becoming more limited as I find math looming ahead in the near distance. I don't want to waste anymore time on that shit. I just want my degree and I want to work in a field that I am good at, and confident. I think the best work experience I am getting is at the half way house. Though I remain frightened thinking about how I am out numbered by people who have experienced things that I never will. I learn and I listen. Drat the graveyard.

Melon Head

I still think you are a melon head. You talked to Stephanie, you tried to send her a picture of you, you lied, then you act mad at me for checking on you. YOU would not act like that if you were innocent, I would not charge down the hall naked and wet if you were looking at my cell phone, I would not care in the least. If you want this relationship to work, you are going to have to make an effort, because frankly I like you less today then I did yesterday, and I am not going to sit back and watch while you enable jack assess in your life. I am here for a brief time, either appreciate me and my honesty or if its not working for you, you need to find something that will make you happy. If its not me, then please move out, we can be friends this time.
At this point in time, you are my driver and cat box changer. You are not anything else,I can not be around people I do not trust.

Disconnect

We are so different. I am honest and forthright, you keep things dark. YOU withhold the truth, you are not as honest as you would like to claim. I would like to kick your ass.
I feel nothing when I think of coming home tonight. You have been sneaky before. YOU can have what every you want, just not "AND" be with me. To be with me you have to give up your shady habits and Stephanie. THERE I said the "S" word. Do you think that I would not find out? Ahh the lovely vision of you jumping out of the bath and running down the hall leaving soapy foot prints because you thought I might look at your cell phone. AND of course I did, I don't trust you, I am astonished at your duplicity. Why don't you leave for good. I will not think of you when you are gone, but I can guarantee you will think of me.
Melon Head!

Bird by the sea

 

One walk on the beach. The rain the mist the sounds of surf. Wish I could have stayed longer, but it was beautiful.

Fired? sorta

this company has taken away the control of the care giver and given it to the client. I believe they have made a big mistake. I was fired from a seventeen year old paraplegic because he wanted a cuter younger care giver. (she was twenty and have a large chest) I was not to take offense to this, but I had two weeks without work because of his preference. Another woman was fired because her client thought her care giver was too fat.
Today I took in my two week resignation, and they called me later this afternoon and told me I was not welcome back and they were giving MF (the ogress) a new caregiver on Monday, and would I kindly bring her things that I purchased for her off hours now. I said I would when I pick up my pay check in the morning.I was rather shocked by their attitude. So I asked, "is there a problem?" they assured me there was not, but it felt strange, and perhaps I am being overly sensitive, but usually my instincts are quite right. So I am out of two weeks of work, but it is worth not driving fifty miles back and forth, plus all the things she has me do. It is not right for her to have a shopping day at will any time she pleases, the Medicaid states she gets one shopping day a week, but she finds all kinds or reasons, most of them life threatening why I have to do it.My boss totally supports her whims. Someone will be getting a very disgruntled Ogress on Monday, but it won't be me, and I am not sad about that, only that my reputation is important to me, and I think its just been tainted.

Things were going all right in the beginning with the ogress yesterday, she took the access bus to the doctor and I went along, I was thankful to get out of the smoke ridden house. I now smoke 18 hours a week (not by choice) because she is a chain smoker and keeps everything closed up tight. I smell so bad when I leave her employ that I have to come home and shower before I go anywhere. I drive the 25 miles home with the windows down trying to air myself out, it doesn't work.
We got back to her home from the doctor, and I got a lecture on the proper moving of a wheelchair. I get this one three times a week, and I quietly bear it. Then I was told to go to the pharmacy and drop off a prescription and then drive further to a different store to get some supplies. She hit the roof when I got back for two reasons. ONE. I had mistakenly gotten chicken of the sea tuna instead of bubble bee. I meant to get bumble bee, but got forgetful at the last moment. TWO.. The pharmacist had explained to me how to use her new medication and had not hand written her a special note. She likes special notes, even though all the information is on the bottle and can be easily read. I made sure there was no child proof bottles because she has a hard time opening them. I made every special effort for her sake.However I knew there would be something to cause her anger, and of course there was.She made me late clocking out again, she likes to start explaining things when it is time for me to go. She does not care if I get paid or not by medicaid.I left her and hour later then planned, and gave her a sweet smile, asked her to get some rest and said I would see her on Friday... Stinking and sweating (another blasted hot flash, which makes my cheeks turn very pink) I headed to my car, sprayed myself liberally with fabreeze knowing it wouldn't help, dumped off her garbage at the Dumpster, mailed her letter, later bought her the correct tuna, which turns out is a dollar more a can, so I lose out on that deal, I had to take the wrong tuna home.I had a message on my cell phone from Dwain. He and I had talked if I got more hours at the Port of Hope, I could quit working for assisting hands. He okaed it with the boss, and gave up one of his graveyard shifts JUST FOR ME! and I can now work graveyard shift on Thursdays. this will work for me, I can go to classes, then come home and sleep then go to work for 8 hours then sleep. Saturday I would work 6 to 6 and Sunday.So it's 32 hours a week at the same place, no more driving around for the ogress or who-ever else assisting hands sends me to. I worked for a little boy from Africa that has sickle cell anemia, I have worked for a new mother with two small children, I have worked for stroke victims, I have had some difficult cases. The trend seems to be with a lot of these people is the more they get the more they want. They have a sense of entitlement and are not in the least grateful. I would be if someone came to my house and helped me. But very few of the worthy poor are happy with what they get, they quietly look around for more. I of course do not feel it is my place to tell them this, and quietly go about my chores and wish that I can quit.Thanks to Dwain, I am trying to write a resignation letter today.
I think simple is best. I had already tried to explain to my boss how difficult MF (ogress) is and he didn't believe me as I had mentioned. She oozes sweetness on the phone to my boss, how wonderful glena is, what an angel glena is... She always treats me like I am a big idiot.I do not know what type of person should replace me, but certainly one not so submissive as I am. Someone who has quiet dignity and will re-direct the negative flow from ogress. I wish her well, and I hope she gets a nice caregiver who cares about her as much as I did. For all my grousing, I always wanted her utmost comfort, but I will not think of her when I am gone.

All good things come to an end

I am off to battle again, not the battle of swords, but the battle of silence and temperance.
I hope a few days away have given me fortitude. I don't feel ready.
Ogress declined another helper. She awaits me, her angel. Right. I do not feel very angelic, but I feel a bit like a tortured saint, without the saintly qualifications.
Am I nuts?
The boss mentioned me making up hours with her. I SAID< "NO PLEASE, it tires "HER" out too much" meaning me actually.
Today tomorrow the next day, I did the figures in my head, I cannot afford to quit yet.
So two jobs it is, and very little time for anything else. Geology is still a drag, and Social work is my favorite class.
It has been my favorite through out my life, oh that sounds sanctomonious doesn't it?
Off I go, my sactomonious butt off to the ungrateful, and surely the unworthy.

The essentially happy person

IS CALLING IN SICK!
well sick sounds better then the water heater exploded, the fridge is leaking, and the toilet needs a new seal. Needed a new seal means they have to pull the whole thing up out of the floor, and I must hide my alarmed contraband cats. I am allowed one kitty, I have three.. I just can't count. ok? Nobody would fall for that one.
Anyway, me of small attention span, must stay home one day and get all of this stuff done, its becoming emergency proportions.
Important stuff.
I Toast the Ogress, may she find a lovely thick skinned caregiver.
I will enjoy torn up floors and nervous cats far more. I shall sing my happy song, and practice my very sick voice before I call in, must not expose the ogress to my illness...

Let the public humiliation begin

I am going to quit, I am.
She talks very slow to me and uses small words when we are in public, like I ride the short bus or something.
In Albertsons, she took that attitude with me, I have given her credit for not feeling well, but there is only so much crap I am willing to roll in. People were giving us strange looks, I was so embarrassed.
She had mentioned earlier that if she taught me one thing, it was me having a back bone. Seriously, she has taught me patience, I have thought about walking out and leaving her with that hateful expression on her face several times.
SHE IS NOT NICE.
I have a bad cough and sinus congestion from her incessant smoking. BLAHHHH.
Here I have to work two twelve hour shifts at POH, then go and deal with her happy ass again on Monday. THEN Volunteer for the boys club for a few hours, then take Dainish to Karate. Did I mention that I am a home body. so much for that.

Oh Jeez I found Ogress' Picture

SANS the hat.
if she wore red it would be a dead ringer.

SO Bite me fickled finger of FATE!!!

First day of job number two. So far so good, the little optimist in me is cautiously peeking out.
Friday was mind numbing. I was a shaking hulk of despair after 8 hours of Ogress' psychoanalysis. On the way home one of my favorite angry songs was on the radio, Beck- LOSER, ahhh "I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?" My radio would only turn up sooo loud, not loud enough to ease my agony.
I am already worrying about how I can tolerate Monday. Pick Pick Pick, and I remain silent to my credit, she says I have repressed anger and I am a very sad person. No she is misreading me I am a happy person and I am merely keeping my mouth shut while she goes on and on about my fallibilities. The look on my face is tolerance tending toward walking out the door. "FIND another care giver OGRESS!"
I guess I don't tolerate abuse very well. This is another life lesson in patience and tolerence that I did not ask for. I am good at keeping silent, but my face looks pained and I can feel that. I need a coping technique if I am going to stand this much longer. I think shorter hours, and I wish she would keep her hands off the chart. She picks over every word how she thinks her progress should be written. Can we just put in PIA? (pain in the ass)?? Angel is not my name.

remember?

When I think about the wind on my face and the ocean air salty and damp, I think about being free and no longer having to work for unpleasant people, or listening to long winded professors.
Am I still going to be young enough to enjoy what I am working toward?

They all like my fuzzy pink robe

I guess "them's black mail pictures", snicker... I told him to wear his own robe, so this is his own fault.
Dain has a nest on the couch and is watching 'Cars' He has Rota virus. I was forced to call in sick today, I explained the situation. I am not sick, but Rota has a three day incubation period, I don't dare expose my client to this virus. She has a compromised immune system, and something like this could end her up in the hospital, or worse.
So I am not going anywhere, I feel like we should put a big "P" for plague on the front door.
Dain is thrilled to be in a nest watching movies and being waited on. The pets like the nest too. No pictures of the sick boy today, poor little guy, he hates missing school. AND Me... I cannot afford to miss work, every penny counts, just when I thought I was going to get caught up on bills and rent. AHHHH well it shall be done eventually... after much groveling and complaining.

Ogress

Yes I know it is your show, and I know that the load you carry is very heavy. Do you know that you are very tedious and time wasting and unpleasant and mean sometimes? Do you know that I don't need to hear your medical prognosis for six hours? and do you know that conversation consists of two people bantering words back and forth gently? Not one person standing over the other refusing to let anyone else talk.
Jeez I know I can be talkative at times, but I am never rude and I do care about you, but you make it very hard.
I told you I had a cut thumb, that is not trying to "ONE-UP" your pain and suffering, I told you that I agree with you, that is not trying to over shadow your specific pain. I have kept my mouth shut and let you go on for hours and waste both of our time, but you still think that I am talking too much. I am certain that nothing I do, or don't do would please you in the end. I think you would try a guardian angel's patience to the point of screaming.I am empathetic, and I am also discerning and I can see how you have lived your life, and I can see in some ways why you are where you are now. A lot of loving people have tried to help you, but you always know best. I am very considerate that you are dying, and I want to be there for you. Yes I know you have boundaries and pride, but you still are unpleasant and in another life on another day, I would kick your ass for being mean to miss Glena Jean, who has a soft heart and really cares that your remaining days are filled with sunshine and laughter. Perhaps you will learn something too, even though you are so bent on teaching me.
you are teaching me what I already know, but I must remain silent while you smile that horrible smile that sends chills up my spine. I have seen that smile before, its the smile someone makes when they are about to say something incredibly short sighted. And my dear you are, you were not a caring giving person in life, and you are not a caring giving person nearing your death. I wish I was a better match for your needs, but I don't think anyone is. I wish you would quit complaining about how horrible all your last care givers were, because I am sure that I am next on your list of inept and stupid care givers. You do not give people a chance, nor do you credit anyone with intelligence. You really do not know best, but you are too young to die without learning more in this life.
I would not have liked you when you were well either.
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An ogre (feminine: ogress) is a large,

cruel and hideous humanoid monster,

featured in mythology, folklore and

fiction. Ogres are often depicted in

fairy tales and folklore as feeding on

human beings, and have appeared in many

classic works of literature. In art,

ogres are often depicted with a large

head, abundant hair and beard, a

voracious appetite, and a strong body.

The term is often applied in a

metaphorical sense to disgusting persons

who exploit, brutalize or devour their

victims.